Friday, 21 December 2007

Italy... I wish!

We didn't drive to Italy. We both have jobs remember? I would love to spend the rest of the year traipsing through Europe, spending all my money and having wild adventures but I had to get back to work to sign the company Christmas Cards, rearrange my desk and set up meetings for the new year. Bollocks!

Stoner got back from Amsterdam yesterday especially for the Christmas Party. Bad news. There isn't one this year. (Unless you call the Accounts department meeting for a drinks at the local bar a party. I'd rather go home and watch Eastenders...) All the fun people are away this year. Gay Boss is still in South America, Bimbo is still off work and Scruffy Artist is still too moody to talk to people. He's still refusing to unlock his office door, claiming that he needs to concentrate.

The last time Scruffy Artist locked himself in his office his girlfriend cheated and left him for the bass guitarist of "Eat My Nuts"; the rock band that play at the local pub on the first Friday of every month. I've seen them play once and they sound awful! If there was ever a reason to commit suicide... I'll probably try speak to Scruffy Artist later and find out whats eating him up.

I like to help people with their problems. I think this stems from my urge to know about everyone's lives. Whenever I meet a new person I'm curious to find out as much as I can about them. I like piecing together the little bits of information I have and building a picture.

Scruffy Artist is difficult to evaluate. He's very quiet most of the time and he's reluctant to share his personal problems with anyone. I found out about his girlfriend and the bass guitarist by doing a little digging around. I spoke to a few people. Spied on the band for a bit.... Well I had to find out what was wrong with him didn't I? It was driving me crazy!

Now that Stoner's back I think the two of us have some intense detective work to keep us occupied until the end of the day. Maybe Scruffy Artist is in love with someone... I would love to play match maker for a while.

Thursday, 20 December 2007


The drive to Paris was long and silent. Solicitor was lost in his own thoughts. Even though I was dying to ask him what was on his mind I kept quiet. The last thing he needed was me probing.

It was extremely late by the time we arrived at Aimee's town house. Solicitor unlocked the door with his key and walked in. An extremely tall, thin woman ran down the steps and lunged herself into his arms. She began sobbing uncontrollably. He led her to a nearby room and shut the door. I stood where I was for a few minutes unsure of what to do. I finally decided to go into the kitchen and make some tea. I sat at the breakfast bar slowly sipping tea as the hours ticked by. I finally fell asleep with my head resting in the counter.

It was bright outside when Solicitor gently woke me. He massaged my stiff shoulders while we whispered to each other. Aimee had fallen into a deep sleep on the couch in the living room. Apparently she had taken something when she called Solicitor. She freaked out and thought she was dying. From the way Solicitor was talking I could tell that she had done this before. He looked tired and warn out.

We quietly raided all the bathroom cabinets, draws etc and disposed of any medication. I found a shoebox in Aimee's en suite bathroom. The box contained a plastic bag full of white powder. I knew what it was before I'd even opened it. Cocaine. The box also contained a little bag of pills. The pills were imprinted with smiley faces. I was pretty sure they were ecstasy.

I walked into the bedroom and showed Solicitor expecting him to be as surprised as I was. He regarded the content of the box and sighed. He flushed everything down the toilet and replaced the box where I'd found it.

We sipped coffee and talked quietly in the kitchen while we waited for Aimee to wake up. Solicitor checked on her every hour to make sure she was okay.

"How long has she been like this?" I finally had to ask. There were so many questions in my mind and I couldn't hold back.

"A long time."

"Since your son passed away?"

"Before that."

Solicitor told me that Aimee had been taking drugs pretty much as long as he'd known her. She hid it well from him at first but things got worse when her career was put on hold when she got pregnant. Solicitor first found her snorting cocaine when she was five months into her pregnancy. She agreed to stop taking drugs as long as she could continue with her career after the baby was born. But things got worse. She refused any help and they quarrelled constantly. I listened for hours as Solicitor told me everything about the breakdown of his marriage. Holding his hand.

Aimee woke up late that afternoon. She looked so fragile standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She smiled shyly and apologised sincerely about "messing everything up." She looked so childlike I had to fight the urge to hug her and tell her everything would be okay. She convinced us to stay for dinner before driving home.

When I first saw a photograph of her I had been so jealous of her thin boyish figure and model good looks. After meeting her my insecurities vanished. There was absolutely no chemistry between Solicitor and his ex wife. Aimee didn't seem to mind my presence. In fact she seemed happy that Solicitor and I had found each other. She's a genuinely friendly person. It’s a shame she's so unsure of herself. She seemed so...lost.

Solicitor and I held hands as he drove to Calais that night. He frequently squeezed my hand and kissed my fingers. We shared my emergency cigarette as we stood in the cold waiting for the ferry. He smiled and kissed me. His nose was cold but his lips were so warm.

"Wanna drive to Italy?"

Wednesday, 19 December 2007


I'm late for work. Who cares. Gay Boss is away, Bimbo has taken the week off, Stoner is in Amsterdam, Scruffy Artist has locked himself in his office (he's slightly moody today), and I haven't bothered with the Accounts department. It gives me time to write about my trip...

Switzerland was truly amazing. We stayed in a wonderful hotel overlooking a lake. The mountains in the distance were breathtaking. I would have been happy to live there for the rest of my life... I'm not going to bore you with romantic stories. Besides, I'd rather keep those moments to myself for now. I may share at a later date.

It takes approximately 14 hours to drive from London to Switzerland so making little stops on the way back was part of our plan.

One of our last stops was Amsterdam. It wasn't technically en route but we both agreed that it would be worth the extra few miles. I called Stoner while we driving through Holland and asked him if he wanted to take a last minute flight and meet us there too. He agreed without persuasion.

We met up in a coffee shop called The Grasshopper. Stoner, being the expert on cannabis, chose a gram of Super Silver Haze from the menu. It was the most expensive thing on the menu costing almost double the price of the others. After rolling a spliff up Stoner took a long puff. He coughed deeply. Stoner smokes all the time and if he had a "virgin lung" cough then I should have realised that it was way too strong. I smoked it anyway and before long I felt the buzz kick in. I silently sipped my hot chocolate and tried to concentrate on the conversation between Solicitor and Stoner. The psychedelic dance music seemed to get louder and louder. I felt Solicitor push a bottle of water into my hands. He smiled and urged me to drink it. Did I really look that bad? God I felt like such and idiot!

We decided to pass on walking through the red light district. We'd all seen it before and it would have wasted time. We went to another coffee shop before stopping at a restaurant for dinner. During dinner Solicitors phone rang. He diverted the call without answering. It rang five more times before he switched off his phone.

Later that night he switched on his phone to check his messages. By then I was dying with curiosity. He swore under his breath and went for a shower. When it rang again I checked the name flashing on the screen. "Aimee"

Okay, I know I shouldn't have done it but I answered the call. Nobody calls someone 20 times in one day unless it was important. I couldn't help myself.




"Are you Elise?" She knows about me!

"Yes. (Solicitor) is in the shower. Is everything okay?"

"I need him to come and get me"

At this point she started crying. Shit! Something bad must have happened to her. I started to panic.

"Whats wrong? Where are you?"

"In Paris. Please! I need someone here with me!"

"Are you hurt?"

... more sobbing...

I pounded on the bathroom door before walking in. Solicitor was standing naked in the shower with shampoo in his hair. God he's gorgeous! I told him Aimee was on the phone. He swore and quickly rinsed his hair. I handed him the phone and walked out of the bathroom to give him some privacy.

When he emerged he had a thunderous look on his face. Thinking that he was angry that I'd answered his phone I started to apologise. He cut me off and told me that he needed to go to Paris. He started dressing and packing and I felt a wave of panic. I sat down and contemplated on asking if I could come. Or maybe I should just give them some privacy. I was so confused!

"Elise! We have to go, can you start packing your things."

So I didn't even have to ask!

I called Stoner as we got into the car and explained that we had an emergency. He seemed too stoned to care. Probably finishing off that Super Silver Haze...

Tuesday, 11 December 2007

The shortest post

This is the shortest post I have ever written....

I'm off to Switzerland for a week with Solicitor. We're driving through Europe and making little stops at hotels on the way. Hmm I wonder how many countries we can cover in the given time...

I hope that we stop off in Paris at some point. Maybe I can convince him to meet up with his ex wife. They are still friends and I am so damn curious!

Monday, 10 December 2007

Aunt Elise

My sister is an "anorak" person. The type that spends her holidays taking long muddy walks with the dog and buys clothes for practicality as apposed to fashion. Her wardrobe consists of fleece jumpers, light blue shapeless jeans, mustard walking shoes, wellington boots and, yes, lots of anoraks. For her anniversary I bought her and her husband a spa treatment weekend (lord knows she needs her hair conditioned!).

Early Saturday morning I drove to Devon and picked up my nephew. I had offered to baby-sit for them while they "had a go" at the spa. My nephew is a sweet polite boy. I feel quite sorry for him sometimes. His parents seem to want to dress him in Trax trainers, fleece jumpers, blue jeans and, yes you guessed it, anoraks, without any regard at all to children's fashion. I know he's only 6 years old but children can be so cruel at school. The slightest difference can cause teasing. Imagine what the poor child goes through every day!

I grasped this opportunity to be Cool Aunt Elise and took him shopping as soon as we got back to London. Within an hour he was completely exhausted and I had successfully bought him new t-shirts, Converse trainers, fashionable army trousers and some sports hoodies. Children's clothes are so inexpensive!
Solicitor called me while I was driving home through the town centre. I had forgotten to bring my hands free kit so I put him on loudspeaker and asked my nephew to hold the phone up near my ear as I battled through the traffic. I luckily missed crashing into another car by inches. I broke hard and swore. My nephew found this incredibly funny and started laughing. I quickly asked Solicitor to meet us at my place and hung up. I spent the journey home explaining why swearing is very bad.

It was only when I arrived home that it occurred to me that seeing my nephew might erupt some bad memories for Solicitor. His son was around the same age when he died and his dark hair and large brown eyes were very similar to my nephew's. When he arrived I saw a flicker of pain in his eyes. He recovered quickly and offered to play Ludo with him while I prepared dinner.

When I'd finished cooking I found them both talking easily with each other. My nephew's eyes were lit up and he was animatedly describing his pet hamster. Solicitor’s eyes met mine across the room. I don't quite know what passed between us but I my heart felt so...warm.

Later that night the three of us sat on the sofa and watched Disney's Lion King. I'd dimmed the lights to create a cinematic effect. My nephew sat between us holding a big bowl of microwave popcorn. By the end of the film he had fallen asleep on my shoulder. Solicitor carried him into the spare room and pulled back the covers while I dressed him in his plain blue cotton pyjamas. The poor kid should have Looney Toons ones or something. What was his mother thinking buying plain Marks & Spencer pyjamas for a 6 year old? I must remember to buy him some new ones for Christmas.

A few hours later the two of us went to bed. It was the first night that we'd slept together without having sex. We were content with just holding each other through the night.

The quickie in the morning doesn't count!

Friday, 7 December 2007

Sexy Models...?

I've never "hated" my body. I'm perfectly happy with my breasts, thighs and ass. I've never purchased cellulite cream or been on a crash diet or complained about being fat. I like the shape of my nose and my big eyes. I'm lucky to have thick, long hair. I don't have to blow dry it or straighten it. A few brushes with a hairbrush normally does the trick.

Last night everything changed. I spent the night at Solicitors and I found a picture of his ex wife. She is absolutely beautiful! Her hair is paler and blonder than Bimbo's. Its cut stylishly short emphasising her big brown eyes. She has a tall, thin model figure. Her camera pose is as perfect as Posh Spice's. The right amount of attitude that oozes sophistication. I suddenly felt frumpy and odd.... It was not a nice feeling.

Solicitor saw me looking at the photograph and he probably guessed what I was thinking about. He pulled me into his arms and told me that nobody has ever turned him on as much as I do. Now I know that all you guys probably think that's a great thing to say, and I suppose in a normal situation it would be, but it made me feel like a cheap porn star!

Solicitor's ex wife was a model! She used to strut up and down runways showing off fashion for a living.

Solicitor told me that models are not sexy. I beg to differ. If models do not have the "ideal" figure then why are they the ones modelling fashion? More people find Keira Knightly's boyish figure more appealing than Catherine Zete-Jones's curves....

Any thoughts or opinions?

Thursday, 6 December 2007

The Elite Oxford Group

I spent the whole morning playing Pacman on my computer. I made seven cups of tea, ate four Jacob's crackers with Philadelphia cheese and I rearranged my desk. What a depressing start to a day....

I decided to take a wander down to Admin to see if Bimbo was as bored as I was. I found her sitting at her desk intently looking at her computer screen. She jumped when she spotted me.

"I can't find it!" she groaned

"Find what?"

"The article on the Oxford University Orgy Parties!"

Maybe I'd better explain.

A new part time employee joined the company on Monday. He's a student at a local university and he's earning his extra cash by sorting out the incoming and outgoing mail. He seems like a very quiet, aloof person. Almost gothic with his attitude to social interaction...

Bimbo, being a sensitive person, felt sorry for him so she invited him to have lunch with us yesterday. Hoping to bring Weirdo out of his shell I began a conversation about university, something that he could relate to. I did not expect the following:

"Did you go to Oxford?" (At this point I thought; Do I come across that posh?!)

"No, Oxford isn't really my scene. I stayed in London."

"Damn! I'm dying to find someone who went there."


"Because of their elite drug and orgy parties"

Bimbo choked on a mouthful of chicken salad. I struggled so hard not to laugh out loud. Who in their right mind would say something like that to complete strangers? I thought he'd realise what he'd said and stop there, but no... he carried on!

Apparently, Oxford University have a elite group of people. Once a year this group meet for a "session". They meet at a barn in a rural field. The barn has blacked out windows and is fully equipped with showers, toilets etc. Before the group are allowed in the barn they must produce medical results for STI tests and they are searched for any cameras or other recording devices, including mobile phones. They basically spend the night taking drugs and "doing everyone" as Weirdo put it.

"Man, I'd love to be there! Can you imagine? Buzzing on pills and just doing everyone!"

I glanced at Bimbo. She was red and in total shock. The silence dragged on so I thought I should say something.

"So, how do you know this?"

"I read it in an article. The guy was actually there!"

I guess Bimbo decided to find the article herself this morning. She'd used every search engine and checked out every online newspaper. She looked extremely frustrated when I found her. I asked her why she was so upset. Tears welled up in her big blue eyes. She couldn't sleep last night. She kept thinking about England's politicians, top lawyers etc doing that kind of thing at university.

I calmed her down and said that Weirdo was probably making it up, or he was misinformed.

I wouldn't be surprised if it was true...

Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Dear sweet, innocent Elise

a girl, a boy and me tagged me yesterday...

The rules:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.

2. Imagine you could send a letter back in time to yourself, when you were 13 years old, what would you write to yourself?

3. Tag 5 people to do this blog


Grilled Pizza

Hayley Emsley

poetikat's invisible keepsakes

a day in the life of Cindy

I like this meme, its original and interesting to think about.... Okay here goes:

Dear sweet, innocent Elise,

This is a letter from your 20 something self. You've just moved house and you've spotted the cute boy next door. He's 16 years old and he doesn't want to go out with you so don't follow him or bug him in anyway. You're only going to cause yourself embarrassment. You don't "really, really love him more than anything in the world" you don't even know him yet!

Consequently do not pluck your own eyebrows to appear more grown up. You'll never get them even and you will look awful for weeks. If you're desperate, go to a beauty salon and ask them to do it for you.

Do not wear mini skirts and cropped tops to appear more grown up. It makes you look slutty not 16. Wearing a long coat does not disguise your slutty clothes so don't try to get away with it by quickly sneaking past the living room. You make it way too obvious and you get caught. Needless to say your father will not be happy with you. (I know he's always angry at you but this time its really bad!)

Gemma is the one that spread that rumour about you kissing Bradley. Everyone knows that you didn't so don't worry about it. Gemma is just jealous because Joshua likes you. Yes you heard me, Joshua with the deep blue eyes really likes you. He tells you when you bump into him at a pub years later. By this time he has a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend and you don't really want to be with each other.

Your 20 something self is a very happy person at the moment. I have a good job, great friends, an amazingly sexy boyfriend and lots of hot sex!!Oops sorry didn't mean to scare you!

Stay true to yourself

Elise x

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

A sexy phonecall....

I did something very unconventional this morning. I'm not normally the type of girl to do this at work but today I just did!

I woke up early this morning, despite Solicitors attempts to convince me to call in "sick" again. We took a hot shower together. We couldn't stop kissing and touching, everything about him just seemed to turn me on; he's toned muscles, his hands, his lips. I guess you could say one thing led to another. In the shower. Then again in the bedroom while we both attempted to get dressed. And a third time in the kitchen while the pop tarts were heating up in the toaster.

I was late for work. Not that anybody cared. When Gay Boss is away employees always arrive late and they always leave early. Lunch breaks suddenly stretch from being an hour to two hours. Or sometimes even three hours, depending on the seasonal sales at Dorothy Perkins.

I made myself a cup of tea, sat at my desk and proceeded to check through emails. The phone rang and I absently picked it up. Solicitor's sexy voice suddenly caused a tingle through my body. Not because it was him but because of what he said; "Lock your office door."

Wordlessly I did. My heart was pounding and my legs felt like jelly.

I sat back at my desk and picked up the phone again. Solicitor gave me instructions and I carried out all of them out without any questions. I couldn't believe how hot and horny he made me with just his voice. Common sense had completely abandoned me and excitement took over as I unclasped my bra, and I even pulled off my underwear at work! (I'm not going to go into too much detail, but... wow!)

What the hell was I thinking? Normal people don't go to work and do that kind of thing. Its so risky! Imagine if somebody had unlocked the door and walked in. Bimbo has a key, so does the cleaner, and I think there's a spare pair in Gay Boss's office.

I must confess I loved every second of it... I can't wait for tonight!

Monday, 3 December 2007

A night in The Village

Nothing cures a hangover like a traditional English breakfast and a cup of sweet tea... My start to Saturday morning.

Friday night got off to a blinding start. Alec and I met at Oxygen Bar in Leicester Square and began the night with a pitcher of Sex on the Beach. As we got drunker Alec became ever more flamboyantly gay. Noticing the "piss-off-out-of-here" look from the barman we left after we finished the pitcher and made our way to Soho.

I don't normally go to Soho, its not really my scene; too many street whores walking around looking for some fun. Alec took me to a bar on a small road called The Village. As soon as we walked in I could feel the love!

A sweet looking guy held open the door for us and gave us a hug and a peck on the cheek. As we made our way to the bar there were more hugs and kisses from various other guys. I had never been to place like this before, the people were so friendly!

Alec ordered drinks from a sexy barman and we made our way to upstairs to another room. The room was a romantic setting. The candles on the tables were the only light source. The tables were extremely low to the floor with lots of cushions and bean bags around them.

Alec and I joined a gay couple at their table. There were more hugs and kisses as we sat down and introduced ourselves. We hours drinking cocktails and talking about everything and anything. At around 1am we all decided to make our way downstairs to the dance floor. As soon as I stood up I felt a strong alcohol buzz. We danced wildly to Steps and S Club 7 until closing time.

At 4am, leglessly drunk, Alec and I caught a night bus. I usually get cabs back from bars and night clubs but Alec insisted that it would be fun. It was. We met a group of hen night girls that were dressed up as angels and devils. The bride-to-be was completely knocked out and was sleeping on Alec's shoulder. Her loyal friends had taken this opportunity to draw on her face with a bic pen. Alec and I signed our names on each of her cheeks before stumbling off the bus and proceeding to walk 2 miles back to my place.

I woke up on my bedroom floor at around 11am on Saturday. I somehow missed the bed when I had decided to crash out for the night. I hadn't even bothered to take my shoes off. Alec was already awake and I found him in the kitchen cooking breakfast. My head was pounding and my mouth felt dry but the food smelt wonderful.

We talked about Gay Boss over breakfast. Alec asked me if Gay Boss was the type to want a fling or a relationship. I told him that I didn't know. I think Alec wants a relationship with someone. When I told him about Solicitor he said "Its nice to have someone." He looked...sad. I hope he finds somebody, even if its not Gay Boss.
After breakfast Alec left and I spent an hour under a hot shower. Solicitor came over a few hours later and we spent the rest of the weekend curled up on the sofa watching DVDs and eating ice-cream. It is nice to have someone. Especially a sexy someone that loves you....

Friday, 30 November 2007

A date with a gay guy...

I called Alec yesterday and explained the situation. He stayed completely silent while I babbled, apologised twenty times and begged him over and over again not to tell Gay Boss or I'll get sacked! Once I'd made my twenty minute speech I realised that Alec was struggling to laugh quietly. "Your a sweet little gummy drop aren't you?"

Oh my God! He's so camp, I can't wait to go shopping with him. I can be his fag-hag.

There's something about camp guys. Every girl wants a gay best buddy to take out. Someone to bitch with. Someone who gives a real opinion on clothes. I had a camp friend when I was at university. We always went to dances, restaurants etc together. He treated me like a princess it was wonderful!

Gay Boss is not a camp guy. Not many people know or even suspect that he is gay. I found out by "accidentally" checking his Internet history about a year ago. I told Stoner and Scruffy Artist. Well, I couldn't keep something that big to myself could I?

The date with Alec is still on for tonight. We're going to go out for dinner and I'm going to fill him in on Gay Boss. I can't wait! I hope he's like Gok Wan...

Thursday, 29 November 2007

Twice in one day!

The Gorgeous Glugster presented me with this award yesterday. (Luckily the colour scheme isn't too far off my blog theme!) I'd like pass this award on to 7 fantastic bloggers (I'm apologise to all of the bloggers that I have missed out) :

Hayley also tagged me yesterday with a meme:
Here are the rules:

*Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
*Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

*Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

*Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random facts... okay:

1) Sometimes, especially when I'm sitting in traffic, I feel an urge to push cyclists off their cycles as they pass me. I have no idea why I feel like doing this. I've never done it, and I never will, but my hands itch to lean out of the car window and give them a little nudge....

2) I can watch an operation without a problem, but when a child grazes a knee and starts bleeding I feel like crying and I can't stop trembling.

3) I buy my sexy underwear from Marks&Spencer. Who would have thought a shop made for middle aged women can have such raunchy lace.

4) I french kissed a girl called Hannah. I went to a gay bar with a bunch of people when I was 17. A beautiful brunette sat next to me at the bar and I told her I was straight. She asked for one kiss and I thought "Why not?"

5) I'm deathly afraid of needles. Once my doctor had to chase me out of the surgery and down the street when I made a run for it.

6) I love toffee cheesecake.

7) I don't like Oxford Street. It too congested. By the time I'm done with shopping I am so frustrated I have an urge to kill most people around me. I would rather not shop then go there.

I hope I didn't bore you all!

Apologies if you've already done this but I'd like to tag:

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

This is bad!

I checked Gay Boss's email this morning. He asked me to check his work email every couple of days just in case something important arises. I also checked his personal email... I know I shouldn't have, email is very personal but I just couldn't resist. I'm a very curious type of person.

As I mentioned in a previous post, it can be quite easy to hack into email. The password is normally:

1) pets name

2) mothers name

3) name of partner or person you're sleeping with

Gay Boss still has his mother's name.

I found a rather strange email with a racy attachment form a guy called Alec. The email simply said:

Hi, this is me. Hope you like it. Alec

I opened the attachment. Alec was standing naked in the pic. He was holding his hard member with a cheeky grin. I was completely shocked! He did have a nice body though. And a sweet smile. Nice hair.

I know what your thinking but I was bored okay!

I decided to sign into Gay Boss's msn to see if Alec was online. He was!

Alec: hi remember me?

Me pretending to be Gay Boss: hi

Alec: we met on gaydar did you get the email?

Me pretending to be Gay Boss: yeah... you look good!

Alec: yeah? well i did say i'd send you a pic remember?

I couldn't help but flirt! He's a sweet guy and I just acted like any single girl or gay guy would. Most people would probably say good bye and sign out but not me. You know that little voice of reason that tells you to stop because you're about to do something stupid? Well I think mine died or something.

I sort of agreed to a date. Um... I don't quite know what to do. I got really carried away and I dug myself a big hole. This is bad. I could get into a lot of trouble for this. Hopefully Gay Boss will be too busy in Peru to sign in to msn.

In the mean time I need to clear up this mess... what should I do?

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Male and Female Friendship?

I took a "sick" day from work yesterday. Solicitor and I just couldn't be bothered to get out of bed. Things are a lot more relaxed between us now. I think we really broke a barrier with our deep conversation last week.

On Saturday we went out for dinner with Bimbo and Pierce. Although we booked a table at a nice Thai restaurant we ended up going to pizza express. (Thai food makes Bimbo nauseous). We had a good night. Solicitor and Pierce got on really well together. I always think its nice when friends get along with the person you're seeing.

On our drive back to Solicitors after dinner we had a conversation about friends. I told Solicitor that I have more male friends than female friends.

Solicitor: The only reason you have more male friends is because you're a good looking girl.

Me: Excuse me! The only reason I have more male friends is because good female friends are hard to come by. Gossip and bitching always gets in the way.

Solicitor: Do you honestly think that half of the men that you know would have bothered to speak to you and form a friendship if you weren't pretty?

Me: Yes I do! Men are not that shallow!

Solicitor: I bet every one of your male friends has thought about you sexually before.

Me: I don't think so! Do you think about your female friends that way?

Solicitor: I don't have many now. But when I did sex would enter my mind a least once for a few of the really pretty ones.

Me: Men and women can be Friends without thinking about sex.

Solicitor: That's what women think!

Me: So I should be jealous of your thoughts about your female friends then?

Solicitor: I don't have any pretty female friends so no. I should be worried about your male friends perving on you!

Me: What?!

The conversation turned into a debate but it ended well. When we got to his front door we were already kissing and thumbling with buttons...

I'm still convinced that men and women can be friends without one of them thinking about sex and Solicitor is convinced that any male friend of a pretty woman has thought about sex with her at least once.

Any thoughts?

Friday, 23 November 2007

A nice mug of hot chocolate

I'd like to thank everyone who gave me advice and encouragement during my little emotional episode. Its quite a relief to write everything down and receive lots of support.

I sincerely hope that Old Prick isn't using his current unemployed status to search and read blogs. It occurred to me late last night that he may stumble across mine. Not only would he find previous blog entries about himself but he'd also realise that I do have feelings and that like most women, I do cry!

Work is extremely quiet today. Gay Boss has left to embark on a travelling experience in South America. The Creative team have decided to sleep in after working through the night last night. Bimbo has a doctors appointment (for a really good reason this time, not because she thinks she may have contracted AIDS from accidentally brushing past a skinning bald man) . And I never bother with Accounts... The department is like walking into a morgue.

CEO called this morning. He always gets worried when Gay Boss goes on holiday. He seems to think the employees will set fire to the building and run around holding up banners that deface the company logo. He nervously spoke to me for ages about calling him if anything goes wrong. I really wanted him to appoint me Stand-in Manging Director through to the end of the year, but he doesn't believe in temporary elevation of employee status. He thinks it causes unnecessary tension.

Its Friday, and I may treat myself and download the latest episode of Ugly Betty from 4od and watch it at my desk with a nice mug of hot chocolate....


Thursday, 22 November 2007

Her name is Aimee

Her name is Aimee. Solicitor's wife's name is Aimee. He went to France to see his wife not his sister.

Last night I went to Solicitor's place. It felt like years since I'd seen him last and I felt a painful stab in my stomach when he open the door. He hugged me and held me close for a while before we went in to his living room. I told him that I know something is not right and I just want him to be honest with me. He kissed my hand and held it while he told me everything.

Solicitor is married. His divorce will be finalised in two months. He's been married for 7 years and has known Aimee for 8. When he told me this I felt a chill run through me. Solicitor and I had met 7 years ago....

He didn't avoid the issue. They broke up the summer before his final year at university. They had been together for a year and it wasn't working. He said they were like chalk and cheese, the connection really wasn't there. I met him that Autumn. The morning after we slept together she called him and said she needed to see him. He left me a note for me and left.

Solicitor told me that he had every intention of calling me after he'd seen her but things didn't work out the way he thought they would. She told him she was pregnant. He did what he thought was the right thing and he stayed with her and married her.

They had a little boy. Solicitor showed me a picture of him. He looks just like him. The same dark piercing eyes, the same nose. Beautiful. I couldn't stop the tears falling when I held the picture. I couldn't move I just stared at the little face smiling back at me. I wished he was mine.

Solicitor stayed silent while I studied the picture. When I finally turned to look at him he was staring into the distance. I felt a horrible stab of fear when I saw tears in his eyes. I waited for him to say something. When he did, he told me his son died two years ago.

His son drowned in a paddling pool. Solicitor and his wife were inside the house arguing when they heard a scream from the garden. His wife's mother found him in the pool. The tried to resuscitate him but it was too late.

Solicitor loved his son but he didn't love his wife. He told me that they'd thought about divorce before his son had died. It never worked between them. The had separate social lives, separate bank accounts, the even slept in separate beds. After the accident Solicitor and his wife separated. She moved to France and he bought a new place. They both needed new starts. They are still in touch and care for each other but their relationship is over.

I stayed with Solicitor last night. We held each other lost in our own thoughts.

He drove me to work this morning and told me he'd pick me up later. Before I got out of the car he kissed me and told me that he loved me.

Stoner knocked on my office door around 9am. I hugged him when I saw him. We talked for a while. I told him that I know about Solicitor's past. I forgot to ask Solicitor about Stoner last night so I asked Stoner. He told me that his cousin went to the same school as Solicitor's son. He doesn't know Solicitor personally but he knows that he had a son that died. Stoner was worried that he was using me and cheating on his wife. He didn't mean to leave me in the lurch yesterday he was really busy with a few external designers.

Although my situation with Solicitor has become very complicated in a very short space of time. I feel content because he opened up to me and shared something so close to him with me....

And he loves me!

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

I can't find Stoner

I can't find Stoner.

He didn't come into work today and he's phone is switched off.

Solicitor called last night. I felt really emotional when I heard his voice. He sounded so easy going I just wanted to see him and be held by him. He wanted to see me but I managed to say no. I told him that I had a lot of work to catch up on. It wasn't really a lie. I do have a lot to do. He asked me what was wrong. He sounded so concerned, I was afraid my voice would break. I mustered up as much control as I could and told him I was tired. I felt so lonely when we hung up.

I look like hell again. I came into work having approximately 3 hours sleep. Bimbo decided to try out lilac eyeshadow on me today, apparently it sets off my green eyes (whatever that means). She's as happy as can be at the moment. She's even loving her morning sickness. I can't really understand that, but then again I've never been in that situation....

I've called Stoner countless times and he won't pick up.

I was supposed to do something today but I can't remember what it was....

They are hundreds of questions in my mind that I want to ask Solicitor:

1)Are you married?

2)Are you seeing anybody else?

3)Have you killed anybody?

4)Did you kill your wife?

5)How do you know Stoner?

6)How does Stoner know you?

7)What is going on?

8)Why did you buy me diamonds?

9)Do you love me?

10)If you do why didn't you say it?

11)If you don't why did you buy me diamonds?

I'm not thinking clearly. If I spoke to him now I'd make a fool of myself.
I need to speak to Stoner.

Where the hell is he?!

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

Smoking in the disabled toilets

I don't normally smoke, I officially gave up when I graduated from university, but this morning I reached from my squashed emergency cigarette and made my way to the disabled toilets just outside the Accounts department. By law we're not allowed to smoke at work but it was raining and I didn't want to get soaked.

The toilets are what most people regard as a safe haven. They have never been used, the tiles look brand new and I don't think anyone has ever lifted the lid of the seat. Unlike the rest of the toilets in the building, the disabled toilets have a lock on the inside.

The door was locked when I got there and there was a slight suspicious smell coming through. Stoner from the Creative department was inside smoking a spliff. I knocked on the door and whispered for him to let me in. I locked the door behind me and sat on the ledge near the sink. Stoner flushed the remainder of his spliff down the sink and sat on the ledge next to me.

I've missed speaking to him. Although Bimbo is technically my closest friend at work I find myself confiding more in Stoner. Bimbo tends to speak without thinking and I don't particularly feel like having my life broadcast around work.

I gave Stoner an update on the last few weeks. Old Prick's accusation. Meeting Solicitor. The diamonds. The L word. Stoner was suprised that Solicitor and I were seeing each other. I'm suprised he even knows Solicitor. He knows something. I can tell. When I asked him he tried to avoid the question.

I got angry. I'd just poured my heart out and if Stoner has some information that I should know about then I think he has a moral obligation to tell me. He hugged me and promised he'd tell me whatever it is but he needs to check out something first.

Check something first? Oh my God! Solicitors married isn't he?

I can't stop thinking about it. Stoner has disappeared for the day. He apparently has a meeting with a website designer this afternoon and I can't get hold of him. I feel a horrible dull pain in the pit of my stomach. I'm terrified. I don't know what Stoner knows but I'm scared I won't be able to handle it.

Monday, 19 November 2007

The L Word

I said the L word...

I know, I know.... It was really stupid.

Solicitor looked amazing when he arrived on Friday. I kissed him and hugged him as soon as I saw him. I'd missed him so much.

Dinner was good. We spoke about everything; family, holidays, favourite films etc. I felt so relaxed with him. For the first time since I'd started seeing him my nerves remained in tact. I didn't melt every time our hands accidentally touched, or feel faint when he looked into my eyes.

After dinner he passed me a small box. He'd bought me a present from Paris. A pair of diamond earrings. They are amazing. Shaped like tear drops. I couldn't believe he had bought them for me. I was so surprised I didn't know what to say.

That night we made love. Its the only way I can describe it. He kissed me so much. Little butterfly kisses on my lips, my forehead, even on my eyes. Just as we were falling asleep it just slipped out. "I love you."

The next day I woke up and he was gone. There was a note on the kitchen counter: Had to go will call you soon. I felt like a complete idiot. Why the hell did I say it? Am I completely brain dead?

He did call. Last night he called and apologised for not calling sooner. Saturday was probably the most frustrating day of my life. It bought back memories of the last note that I'd found when I'd woken up. I don't know whether he's doing this on purpose but its really starting to mess me up.
He bought me diamonds! A guy doesn't buy a gift like that without it meaning something does he? But the next day he left a note and didn't call. He didn't say the L word back, and he hasn't mentioned it at all. I'm not the type of person that would use the word lightly and I don't know why it slipped out. Maybe I scared him. (These are just some of the thoughts constantly attacking my mind!)

This morning I arrived to work looking like hell. My hair was left loose and wildly windswept, I couldn't be bothered with make-up, and I decided to wear black jeans and a black jumper instead of traditional work clothes. Bimbo nearly had a fit when she saw me. She thought I was going to a funeral.

While she sorted out my make-up she chatted about Pierce and the baby. He's asked her to marry him. She thought he was only asking for the sake of the baby but as it turns out he'd bought a ring and was going to ask her on Christmas eve anyway. Its ruined his plans to have it in a Christmas cracker but it seems that they are both over the moon. Their baby will undoubtedly be gorgeous. I hope he/she inherits some smart genes.

Gay Boss laughed when he saw me. He said I look like a Goth. I'm glad he's taking pleasure out of my miserable appearance. I suppose Bimbo did get a bit carried away on the dark eyes. I think I'll lock myself in my office today. Drink some coffee. Search for some depressing love sick poems....

Friday, 16 November 2007

"The Name's Pierce...."

Bimbo is pregnant.

She called me late last night hysterically crying. I told her to calm down. I honestly believed that she'd got it wrong; mistaken positive for negative again. It took almost an hour to drive to her place. I was absolutely freezing and slightly pissed off with her.

When I arrived I told her take the test again. The blue line appeared. I needed a cup of tea. It was going to be a long night.

After another hour of considering her options I convinced her to call her boyfriend. As soon as he answered his phone Bimbo began crying hysterically again. I had to take over and speak to him. I asked him to come over because she needed him.

Bimbo's boyfriend looks like Pierce Brosnan! I couldn't help but stare when I opened the door. I half expected him to say "The name's Bond, James Bond."

He was really sweet and concerned when he saw what a state Bimbo was in; she was wrapped in a Mickey Mouse bed sheet quietly hiccuping from crying so much. I was tired and desperate to get home so I put the kettle on and left them to talk.

She's taken the day off work. Pierce called earlier to thank me for last night. He seems to care a lot about Bimbo.

Solicitor is coming back from France today. I've invited him to my place dinner tonight. I'm not sure what I'm going to cook yet but I hope surfing the Internet will give me some ideas.

After seeing how much Pierce genuinely cared about Bimbo I can't help thinking about Solicitor. I wonder if we'll ever be together properly. I wonder what it would be like if he actually really loved me. I feel a physical ache when I think about him loving me. Its so strong. Its way too early to be thinking about it, but it doesn't stop me wanting it...

I feel quite emotional now. Get a hold of yourself Elise! Stop being so stupid

Thursday, 15 November 2007

Psychological Issues

I have a strong suspicion that Bimbo may have psychological issues.

I've known Bimbo for almost 4 years and we're roughly the same age. There are three things about her personality that stand out;

1) Bimbo is an extremely emotional person. Whenever she is happy she bounces around and sings out loud with a huge smile on her face. She very much like a child on Christmas morning. She also tends to cry a lot regardless of where she is. If she sees a sad RSPCA poster on the train she will cry, even if she is travelling alone. I worry about her being in the outside world. There are hundreds of sick people that would spot her venerability a mile away and take advantage of her.

2) Bimbo is not the smartest person in the world. In fact she seems to be quite far from it. For a long time Bimbo believed that you had to be elected to vote in a general election. I remember the actual conversation 3 years ago when she discovered that she could vote;

Bimbo: "I feel bad for Tony Blair. He's just trying to do his job. It must be hard being in charge"

Me: "Well you should vote Labour in the next election"

Bimbo: "I would definitely, if I got elected to vote"

Me: ""

Bimbo: "You know, if I got that letter in the post saying that I've been elected to vote. I've never had one so I should get one soon."

Me: "But you can vote.... that's the whole idea of a general election!"

Bimbo: "You mean anytime?"

Me: "Um yes!"

I really don't know what planet she's been living on so far...

3) Bimbo is a hypacondriact. Its very difficult to be one if you can't grasp what the actual condition is. She once hit her head on a cupboard door and freaked out because she thought it caused a brain tumor. Most GPs have a three day waiting list for an appointment, but Bimbo seems to get one straight away. I think the doctor must get a kick out of what she tells him. It must brighten up his dull day...

This morning I found her at her desk read eyed flicking through Heat magazine. Hoping that she wasn't upset that Sienna Miller had the same shoes as her, I asked her what was wrong. She burst into tears and told me that she thinks she's pregnant.

I would like to believe her I really would. But I really don't know what to say. I advised her to take a pregnancy test. Apparently the clinic won't give her a free one because she's had quite a few this year so she'll have to pay £29.99 for one at the local chemist on her way home from work.

When I got to my office I started to worry. What if she is pregnant? How on earth is she going to deal with it?
Friendship is so straining on the brain!

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Confessions in the dark...

The mid week blues have finally caught up with me. I spent the better part of yesterday throwing out Old Prick's old stuff and personalising my office. November and December are the quietest times of year at work and most people spend their time clearing out old computer documents, reorganising offices etc. The days go by slower and weeks feel like months.

Solicitor is on his way France to visit his sister in Paris. I miss him already. Every second thought in my mind is about him. What is wrong with me?

Last night he tied me to his bed with my stockings. He asked me about my past experiences with lovers while he kissed and teased me with his hands and tongue. Confessing in the dark while tied up was strangely quite a turn on. He whispered softly in my ear when he asked questions. His sexy voice and warm breath sent shivers through me. He asked me about orgasms that I'd experienced and I found myself being completely honest. I told him that although my exes were good in bed nobody had ever made me come the way he had.

Being teased and horny is an amazing lie detector test. Its too difficult to construct sentences let alone bend the truth. He was happy with what I said and drove me wild and insane with pleasure. Solicitor is an amazing animal in bed. Even thinking about last night makes me hot and wet.

He won't be back for a few days. I suppose I should use the next few days constructively; groom my eyebrows, paint my nails etc. Today is dragging on. I feel tired and depressed...

Bimbo however is in an extremely happy mood. She bounced into my office this morning dressed in black and red. She always gets excited during the build up to Christmas. Decorating the Admin office is number one on her agenda for today. This year she's even bought everyone personalised red Santa hats. She insists that we all wear them from 1st December. Its impossible to smile when she's hyperactive and desperate to make me feel happy.

Monday, 12 November 2007

Fortune, Honesty & Red Lace

I took the day off work on Friday, something I hardly do on the spur of the moment.

I spent the day milling around Camden; window shopping, snacking etc when I came across a psychic in one of the indoor markets. She was sitting quietly in a corner petting a huge black Labrador. She suddenly looked up at me and smiled. She was quite a young woman, she looked barely 17. A sweet baby face ruined with black lipstick and eyeliner. I smiled back and went to pet the dog.

"£6.42 for your fortune."

Such an odd price. I reached in my pocket for spare change, hoping to show her that I didn't have enough money for the pleasure of a reading. There was £6.42 exactly in pound coins, ten pence pieces and coppers. She smiled and gestured to the chair opposite her. Feeling strangely sick, I sat down and handed her the handful of money....

I decided to wear the red lace for my date with Solicitor that night.

He looked amazing as usual. He greeted me with a lingering kiss before leading me into the kitchen. The breakfast bar was set for a candle lit dinner for two complete with a bottle of red South African wine; Merlot Veenwouden Classic 1997. Very nice!

Solicitor cooks as well as he makes love. I was amazed with the different flavours of every mouthful. Even the wine was a perfect compliment to the meal.

During dinner I asked him about the last time. He looked at me and answered honestly. He told me that he was young and stupid. He felt a strong connection between the two of us and he was afraid that I only felt it because he was my first. He didn't want us to be together if I only thought I felt something. He didn't want to speak to me again because he was afraid we wouldn't be able to say goodbye. We could barely be in each others company without touching or kissing.

I believe him. I might be stupid but I do.

After dinner we kissed our way to the bedroom. Red lace was the right choice! He traced around the outside of the material with his lips while he slowly pulled my underwear aside. He slipped his tongue inside me and took me to levels of pleasure I had never experienced with anyone, even with him.

That night we made love over and over again. And the same the next night. And the same the night after....

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Bailey's Truffles

Old Prick cleared out his desk early this morning and left. The only things that give any indication that he worked here are the small box of Bailey's Truffles that he always kept in his desk draw and the camel coloured coat that he's forgotten.

Unfortunately I didn't witness his departure as I was in the boardroom preparing for the corporate event. CEO called an emergency staff meeting a few hours before the event attendees were due to arrive to break the news. Most people were surprised and a murmur of gossip spread through the crowd. For once I didn't loiter and involve myself in the discussions. I slipped out of the room and made my to my office.

The office felt strangely empty. I felt incredibly relieved and celebrated by eating a few Bailey's Truffles. Gay Boss joined me a few minutes later. We sat comfortably in silence. The only sound coming from the rustle of truffle wrappers.

The corporate event went better than planned. The topics for discussion were very interesting and for the first time since I've worked I actually stayed completely focus throughout.

When I arrived back to my office I received a call from Solicitor. He's decided to change the plans of going out for dinner and cook for me instead. Wow this guy really is a charmer! I said I'd meet him at his place at around 8pm tomorrow.

I still don't know what to do about him. I'm not sure if anything he's doing for me is genuine or if he only wants sex. I'm not sure what I want either. Tomorrow will be a good time to talk about it.

I'm not sure whether to wear my black suspender belt with red lacy underwear or go without...

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

...and it hurt like hell

He called me this morning. I didn't think he would. He asked me go out to dinner with him on Friday. I wonder if we'll make dinner this time or if we'll end up pulling each others clothes off before the starters arrive... Oh happy thought!

I should to talk to him properly though. I know I'm avoiding it but I need ask him about last time.

The last time I waited for him to call was the most frustrating time of my life. I left a message on his voicemail and he didn't return my call. For days I had convinced myself that there had to be a good explanation for it. I constantly checked my phone messages and my email inbox hoping for some kind of response. I never spent more two minutes on the phone with anyone just in case he was trying to call.

It finally hit me that he never intended to see or speak to me again and it hurt like hell. I kept replaying our night together and tried to figure out what I did wrong. Maybe he didn't like my lacy underwear. Maybe I he didn't like my perfume. I finally confided in a friend who told me that some guys just move on after having sex with a girl and that I just had to deal with it. At the time it broke my heart. The only reason that I had done anything with him was because we had a strong connection. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. We spent hours talking and kissing surely it meant something to him didn't it?

I was really young and naive last time. I had no idea how adult relationships worked. I've grown up alot since and formed my own opinions through experience. Although I've agreed to see him on Friday I must remember to tread carefully... Though, its easier said then done with the first guy you fell for!

Today is fairly quiet considering there's quite a big meeting tomorrow. Bimbo and the rest of Admin have the tedious job of calling all attendees and confirming their arrival, printing out booklets, and battling with the caterers. Scruffy Artist and Stoner are just finishing off the visual edits and stills. Old Prick has taken the day off as holiday (I guess he needs to use them up before he gets flung out of the door tomorrow). And Gay Boss is ill again. I'm avoiding Accounts because I really don't want to speak to Preppy.

I think I'll continue to spend the day sitting at my desk pondering....

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

Red Wine & Sex

I arrived at work around 9:15am. For the first time I was late. I woke up naked with a gorgeous Solicitor in bed next to me. I

So last night went well. It started raining when he picked me up. Instead of driving straight to the firework's display he took my back to his place for a drink. I had imagined that his place would be extremely masculine and contemporary, black leather sofa's glass coffee tables etc, so I was pleasantly surprised. It appears that he has quite an eye for antiques. His home was cosy with big fireplaces, dark wooden floor, big rugs and a grand piano. He had a big beautiful bookcase filled with classic literature, and photographs of family.

We didn't quite make it to the firework's display. After a glass of red wine we kissed. Unlike our previous kiss in the Ladies Toilets it was quite tender and loving. He pulled me onto the rug in front of the fireplace. He slowly undressed me completely before pulling off his own clothes. He has such a beautiful body. So masculine and toned. We spent hours pleasuring each other; making slow sensual love, passionate animal sex, caressing each other with our lips and tongues..

I woke up around 6am still in his arms. It felt right. Scarily right. His back had deep scratch marks from where my fingers had clawed him during one of my orgasms. In fact both of our bodies had been through quite an ordeal. I felt bruised and quite tender in some places, I winced in pain when I first moved.

He drove me home and promised he would call me. If he doesn't call I'll know that he hasn't changed at all. If he does I'll need to ask him about the last time.

CEO is flying in tomorrow from Antigua. He'll probably be with Gay Boss on Thursday when he finally gets rid of Old Prick. If Solicitor calls later maybe we can have hot office sex on Friday...

Monday, 5 November 2007


This morning was relatively quiet. I went over some case details with Gay Boss . Apparently Old Prick doesn't have any case against us. He has a serious lack of hard evidence. Gay Boss has decided to ask him to clear out his desk on Thursday and tell him to leave the premises. I can't wait for it.

I got a call from the Solicitors Firm around mid-day. I answered the phone as I put a red grape into my mouth, expecting it to be Bimbo with plans for lunch. I almost chocked when I heard his deep husky voice. I swallowed my grape whole and acted as natural as possible. He called to congratulate me on the fact that the case didn't go to court. I felt a slight pang as I realised that I probably wouldn't see him again. I know he's the bastard that broke my heart years ago but the thought of never seeing him or kissing him again... well it sort of made me feel like crying.

An hour later he called back and asked me what I was doing tonight. (Damn! there goes the wave of heat and that ridiculous heartbeat of mine again. I really should get an appointment with a doctor or something) He asked me to go to a firework's display with him.

I can't actually remember agreeing to this. He pretty much told me he'd pick me up at 6pm. I feel so nervous! I wonder if we're going with a group of his friends. Maybe he just wants me to be his friend. The type that you only see with a group of people.
What if we're alone?

I better go down to Admin later and ask Bimbo to make-me-up. Wish me luck...

Friday, 2 November 2007

Suspenders and Stockings

I couldn't sleep last night and I woke up around 4:30am to chose an outfit to wear. It took me around 2 hours to get ready. I settled on my 1940s grey skirt with a black shirt and black heels. I wore my favourite black lace matching underwear with a suspender belt and stockings. I washed my hair and blow dried it straight before deciding to style it with rollers. I painted my nails blood red and applied my make-up carefully to achieve a natural yet sexy-eyed look.

I arrived outside the Solicitors Firm at around 7:30am. Thankfully Gay Boss was already waiting for me in his car. As we walked through the lobby I felt my suspender pop one of the grips on my right stocking. Shit! I tried to act normal as we climbed the stairs to the Solicitors office, but I felt another pop. What the hell was I thinking wearing suspenders?! Gay Boss was explaining something but all I could concentrate on was my underwear. I needed to sort it out before I saw him.

Unfortunately he was standing at the top of the stairs. He shook both of our hands and gestured us into the office. I quickly excused myself and swiftly started walking towards the Ladies. He caught up with me and put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. Damn, why did he have to do that? I suddenly felt a jolt of heat flood through my body.

"The bathroom's out of order."
"That's okay I just need to sort out my suspenders."

Oh my God! Did I just say suspenders? Yes I did. He froze and looked down. the suspender belt wasn't noticeable but he kept staring. I couldn't move or speak. He just kept looking at me. When my legs finally decided to move I went to walk pass him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

He tangled his hands through my hair and pulled my face up to his while he bit my lips, licked them and slipped his tongue between them. God he's a great kisser. I felt myself melting into him. I don't know how but we ended up in the toilets pulling at each others clothes. His hand slid up my skirt and pulled aside my underwear. When he touched me I couldn't stop trembling. I was vaguely aware that I was whimpering but I couldn't help it. I desperately reached for the zip on his trousers. He was so hard. He lifted me onto the ledge near the sink and I wrapped my legs around him.

Logic suddenly kicked in and I pulled away. He stepped back to catch his breath. I stood up and fumbled to fix my suspenders. I was shaking too much to clip them back to my stockings. He knelt down and fixed them for me. This was so embarrassing! When he looked up I had the sudden urge to laugh. He stood up and we both started laughing. We sorted ourselves out and walked back to the office.

I couldn't meet his eyes during the meeting. I knew that if I did I would start laughing again.
When we finally left he shook my hand and kissed my cheek.

I can't stop thinking about him. It was all probably a big mistake but I can't stop smiling.

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Dial M For Mistake...

After the strange encounter with my past on Monday I spent the whole day yesterday completely focused on work to occupy my mind. Today I came to work knowing I had absolutely nothing to do. Gay Boss had a meeting with a client in Yorkshire, so its extremely unlikely he'd come in to work at all. Scruffy Artist and Stoner had both taken the day off. They worked all night last night so I suppose it was owed to them. Old Prick had another "dentist" appointment with his solicitor.

I staggered to my office fully armed with magazines wishing that I had left some work to do today. I saw it on my desk as soon as I walked in. A perfect white rose with a small note beside it. The note was unsigned but I knew exactly who it was from. It had the same handwriting as a note I'd received years ago. It simply said "I'm sorry".

In a fit of rage I stormed down to Admin to demand how the rose got into my office. I found Bimbo sitting at her desk on the phone. I waited impatiently for her to finish. She smiled dreamily when I asked her about the rose. She said a really sweet guy came in around 6pm yesterday looking for me. She told him he could leave it on my desk.

He hand delivered it! Oh my God what is he doing?

I called his firm when I got back to my office. He answered in a familiar sexy voice. I snapped and lost my temper. I told him he had no right to come into my office without me being there. I told him that whatever contact the two of us have would be strictly professional and that the rose was completely out of line. He waited for me to finish my rant before calmly apologising. He said that he thought an apology was appropriate to clear the air between us and that he didn't mean to cause distress.

Cause distress?! I'm not distressed! He's definitely not worth distressing about.

I quickly cooled down and tried to sound normal. I apologised for my outburst and told him that I'd had a difficult week and I lost my temper. I thanked him for the gesture. He laughed and said that he remembered I had a fiery temper. I fought the urge to tell him to go fuck himself. I just laughed politely and we said our "take-cares".

I completely screwed up. I left things so perfectly on Monday. Now I've made a complete fool of myself. God he sounded sexy!

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone rang. It was Gay Boss. He's expecting some important letters concerning the legal problem with Old Prick. He wants me to open and read them, photocopy them and file them away in his box of "evidence" in his office. We have an appointment with the solicitors tomorrow so he wants to be prepared.

Damn I forgot I was seeing him tomorrow. I shouldn't have called him. I should have completely ignored the rose thing and act like I'd never seen it. I can't get him out of my head. The asshole! What is wrong with me?

Its okay, I have secret files to keep me occupied for a while. Must concentrate....

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Lawyers and Passionate Sex

At 8am this morning Gay Boss and I went to see the solicitor and his associate concerning the recent accusation from Old Prick. I met the solicitor once before at the last Christmas party. He reminded me of a sweet old leprechaun, extremely Irish and festively wearing green. He had a great sense of humour and I was looking forward to seeing him again. The associate apparently is in the process taking over our account as Irish is on the verge of retirement.

We were greeted warmly by Irish but as I turned to meet his associate I nearly collapsed...

I don't normally write about my personal life as this blog is dedicated to my work place but I think a little background information would explain my reaction.

I was 18 when I lost my virginity. I had just moved to university when I met him. I accidentally bumped into him outside the library. Or he bumped into me. I can't remember how it happened I just remember his eyes. They were the most intense eyes I had ever seen. I could feel them piercing into mine before they travelled down the length of my body mentally undressing me.

He was serious and arrogant but he had an extremely strong sexual pull, not just with me but with pretty much every girl around him. Girls shamelessly looked at him with adoration. It felt good to be seen with him.

Two weeks later, after lots of passionate kissing and lots of dates to various bars he undressed me for real. I remember his expert hands were everywhere. Touching, teasing, kneading. He drove me wild with his mouth. Kissing, biting, his hot breath on every inch of my body. It hurt when he finally entered me. But I didn't want him to slow down. I loved how hungry and passionate he was. I loved it when he looked into my eyes with intense lust....

He walked me home that night. We stopped every few yards to kiss. When we had finally got to my door we were practically pulling of each others clothes. We spent the night touching, kissing and making love.

When I woke up the next morning he was gone. He left a note on my desk simply saying: "You are beautiful and last night was amazing". I never saw him again. I tried to call but he never answered.

He shook my hand professionally and leaned forward and kissed my cheek. The imprint of his lips burned into my cheek and I struggled to keep control of the situation. His eyes, still intense, slowly travelled down my body. I felt naked and I desperately fought the urge to cross my arms.

I needed to calm down and stay focused so I excused myself and asked to use the bathroom. I practically ran down the corridor pushed open the heavy door and locked myself in. I stared at my reflection. I didn't look too bad. Hair and make-up were still in place. It was just the flushed cheeks and the crazy look in my eyes that needed to be sorted out.

I stood by the opened window and reached into my bag for my emergency cigarette. It had been there for over 7 months so it was slightly squashed but it definitely did the job. A few pulls and I felt so calm. I couldn't smoke the rest, my head started spinning with shock from the rare nicotine buzz. I flushed the remainder down the toilet and walked back to the office.

I don't know how I managed to get through the next couple of hours. I remained professional even though inside I was dying to scream out and demand responses to so many unanswered questions. I wasn't really listening to most of the conversation. I nodded when I thought it was appropriate and only spoke if I was asked a direct question.

He walked me back to the lobby while Gay Boss and Irish went over some last details. Every time he accidentally touched me I felt jolts of electricity run through me. We stopped by the door and he smiled and asked if I was seeing anybody. What an arrogant asshole! It took all of my effort not to slap him for acting so normal. I smiled back and kissed him lightly on the lips and whispered, "Take care". I walked out of the door without looking back.

I think I handled that very well.

Monday, 29 October 2007

An Office Affair

On Friday afternoon Gay Boss came back to my office with stacks of papers. He locked the door behind him and handed me a a booklet of A4 sheets stapled together. It was the transcription of the last meeting with Old Prick. I read the highlighted section and nearly fainted. Old Prick accused Gay Boss of having a "personal relationship" with me! Oh my God what a fucking idiot!

Okay just to clear the air, not many people actually know that Gay Boss is Gay. Scruffy Artist and I are the only ones that know. (I sort of went through his computer once and found something. I couldn't keep it in so I told Scruffy Artist)

I started laughing so hard when I read the transcript that I started crying. When I'd calmed down I realised the seriousness of the situation. Old Prick had accused the Managing Director of having an affair with an employee. He also accused us both of trying to manage him out of the company. This looks bad. Really bad.

I hope this accusation doesn't go too far, it wouldn't be fair on Gay Boss if he had to come out of the closet in public. And more importantly its not fair on me! Its not my fault if Old Prick is incompetent and can't do his job properly. He had no right to drag me into this.

I spent the weekend plotting ways to punish Old Prick. I went through public humiliation and ended up thinking up a crazy plot to hire criminals to petrol bomb his house. I realise that most of my plans are not feasible. I mean I don't actually know that many criminals. And to be honest I don't really want to go down for arson, or worse murder.

What should I do? I need some help here

Friday, 26 October 2007

A Full English Breakfast At Granny's

I decided to call off the plan with Preppy. For some odd reason it just didn't feel right. I don't normally set up situations just for fun, I only do it if I'm desperate for some information. I realised that I don't really like to cause mischief I just like knowing everyone's sordid secrets.

Bimbo and I had breakfast together this morning. We went to a small cafe called Granny's for a full English fry-up. Granny's was filled with dirty fat builders laughing, joking and burping. The only waitress (I assume is Granny) looked around fifty with greasy skin and a toothless grin. Despite the unpleasant surroundings (and the occasional wolf whistle) breakfast was amazing. Eggs fried to perfection, crispy bacon, tasty sausages, baked beans, fried mushrooms, fried bread and a lovely sweet cup of tea. Its Friday we're allowed to eat food that clogs arteries!

I told Bimbo about lunch with Preppy. Bimbo doesn't like Preppy. Apparently whenever Preppy sees Bimbo she makes a point of embarrassing her by asking her complex questions in front of people. When Bimbo struggles to comprehend Preppy laughs and makes a nasty comment.

Now that is completely out of line! Okay I know I've done some pretty strange things and I'm a hopeless gossip but I would never go out of my way to publicly embarrass someone. Bimbo looked upset when she told me. Her big blue eyes welled up. Oh God I hoped she wasn't going to cry again! There were nasty builders everywhere and at least one would shout out something.

Thankfully Bimbo didn't cry. She just reached over and held my hand. "I'm glad your still my friend." I smiled and squeezed her hand back. A sweaty builder on a nearby table wolf whistled causing Bimbo and I to laugh. We giggled together as we walked back to work linking arms.

Gay Boss was waiting for my in my office when I arrived. Old Prick has taken the day off. "what's going on?" I asked. Seriously, the whole situation with Old Prick getting the boot is really frustrating. I need to know whats going on! Gay Boss smiled. "I got a meeting in an hour. We'll talk later."

Oh sounds juicy! Can't wait....

Thursday, 25 October 2007

Lunch with Preppy

I met Preppy for lunch at a local Weather Spoons pub. After ordering food and drinks at the bar we carefully made our way through the crowded tables holding glasses filled to the brim with Jack Daniels and coke. (I know we're working but one drink won't hurt!) I noticed that she couldn't stop staring at my pink fishnet tights. Once we had sat down I laughed and told her about my morning ladder experience and Bimbo coming to the rescue.

"Oh that explains it!" She laughed, "I thought the pink was a bit too slutty for you. Suits her though!"

I know its hypocritical but for some odd reason that little dig pissed me off. I suddenly realised that Bimbo is probably my best friend at work. She's always there to make me laugh, groom my eyebrows, paint my nails etc. I ignored the comment and moved the conversation swiftly onto Piggy's crush on 4eyes.

Preppy spoke to her yesterday and invited her out on a girls-only drink after work for next Friday. She plans to get her drunk enough to spill the beans. I decided to elaborate on that plan just as an experiment. This is our final strategy:

  • We're going to invite a few more girls so it looks like a real girls-night-out thing. I'll pop into Admin tomorrow and invite Bimbo and the girls and Preppy is going to invite the two other girls in Accounts.

  • I'll go see Stoner in the Creative department and ask him for a small favour. As we are planning a girls-night-out maybe he can plan a boys night out on the same night. (LOL an advanced leaving party for Old Prick)

  • Whilst pub crawling we all accidentally end up in the same place. Hopefully Piggy and Old Prick will be legless at this point.

  • Maybe something might happen....

It occurred to Preppy and I over lunch that Piggy and Old Prick are pretty much perfect for each other. If this doesn't work I'm sure we'll get many embarrassing stories for work the next week...

The ladder experience

This morning a had a ladder experience.

I was running slightly late for work today. I blame this on the fact that when I woke up it was practically the middle of the night and I felt cheated out of sleep. It was still dark and gloomy at 7am as I rushed through the tube station with a copy of The Metro newspaper tucked under my arm and a steaming raspberry tea in my other hand. The Metro slowly began to slide from my arm and I instinctively reached down to rescue it. In the process I spilt the hot raspberry tea all over my skirt and my nail caught my tights ripping a gigantic hole up the outside of my thigh. (Thank God my legs are freshly waxed!)

I arrived to work at 7:45am looking like a tramp. The ladder in my tights had somehow expanded and stretched across the fool length of my leg and my light grey skirt had a huge contrasting pink stain down the front. The added tragedy is that I didn't even have time to read The Metro. I walked straight to Admin in search of Bimbo. She seems like the type that may have a spare pair of tights with her at all times. She gasped when she saw me and snapped into action. She did have a spare pair of tights but they were hot pink fishnets. Slightly slutty but I guess beggars can't be choosers. And, being the angel that she is, she used cotton pads and nail varnish remover to treat the pink stain. What a life saver!

I invited her join me and Preppy for lunch to show my gratitude but she quickly refused. She apparently has work to do....

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

Office Gossip

I spent yet another day away from my office. Gay Boss and Old Prick had another confidential meeting regarding Old Prick's invitation to leave. God knows what more they have to discuss. This is dragging on far too long, my ideas for reorganising and decorating the office have been put on hold.

I spent the morning in Admin with Bimbo "going over the schedule". As usual Bimbo had the latest issue of Vogue spread out on her desk along with her industrial sized make-up bag. Today she decided to try out the dark smokey look on me; modeled on five spreads by an insanely thin model with dark skin and unnaturally blue eyes. There's something very therapeutic about make-overs. I'm not sure whether its the feeling of soft brush strokes massaging the face or the anticipation of what you're going to look like in the end. Maybe its the combination, coupled with Bimbo's mindless chatter. I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the pampering for a full two hours.

I left Admin around 11:30am looking beautiful. I convinced Bimbo to remove the smokey look and redo my face to suit "the office look". She reluctantly agreed even though it looked "really, really nice!". She definitely should have been a professional make-up artist.

I decided to toddle off to Accounts to waste time and to see if anything new had happened. Accounts is usually the most boring department in the company, most people take life way too seriously. Whenever I walk towards their offices a little voice inside my head tells me to walk professionally.

There are a few simple techniques to walking professionally:

1) Stand up straight and rigid, shoulders back, chin up.

2) Always walk with a purpose and with the heel-toe rhythm (heel-toe-hell-toe...)

3) When passing other colleagues make eye contact and give a swift nod

4) Arms by your sides and absolutely no fidgeting

When I arrived I was greeted by Piggy with a loud snort. Piggy definitely has the worst attitude in the world. As usual there was a tight frown on her sweaty pink face and her beady eyes scornfully sized me up. "He's not here" she stated. Who? What the hell is she on about? "and if I were you I'd be ashamed. Trying to mess about with a married man." Piggy stomped passed me, her limp pony-tail swinging viciously from side-to-side.

I stood still. Extremely confused and angry that Piggy could ever accuse me of anything like it. Preppy, who had over heard Piggy's outrageous comment smiled kindly and offered me a cup of tea. I don't think I've ever properly spoken to Preppy before, other than the swift nod I hardly see her. She seems nice enough.

Over a nice cup of tea Preppy explained Piggy's accusation. A couple of weeks ago Piggy saw me and 4eyes slip into the disabled toilets together and lock the door. She jumped to the conclusion that there was something going on. (For the real story behind that read blog: Monday Morning Clarity...) Preppy also told me that Piggy has a major crush on 4eyes. Wow, Accounts isn't so boring after all!

Preppy is quite good to talk to. The two of us seem to have similar personalities. She doesn't like Piggy almost as much as I hate Old Prick.

We're having lunch tomorrow. I think a bit of mischief is on the menu.....