Thursday, 22 November 2007

Her name is Aimee

Her name is Aimee. Solicitor's wife's name is Aimee. He went to France to see his wife not his sister.

Last night I went to Solicitor's place. It felt like years since I'd seen him last and I felt a painful stab in my stomach when he open the door. He hugged me and held me close for a while before we went in to his living room. I told him that I know something is not right and I just want him to be honest with me. He kissed my hand and held it while he told me everything.

Solicitor is married. His divorce will be finalised in two months. He's been married for 7 years and has known Aimee for 8. When he told me this I felt a chill run through me. Solicitor and I had met 7 years ago....

He didn't avoid the issue. They broke up the summer before his final year at university. They had been together for a year and it wasn't working. He said they were like chalk and cheese, the connection really wasn't there. I met him that Autumn. The morning after we slept together she called him and said she needed to see him. He left me a note for me and left.

Solicitor told me that he had every intention of calling me after he'd seen her but things didn't work out the way he thought they would. She told him she was pregnant. He did what he thought was the right thing and he stayed with her and married her.

They had a little boy. Solicitor showed me a picture of him. He looks just like him. The same dark piercing eyes, the same nose. Beautiful. I couldn't stop the tears falling when I held the picture. I couldn't move I just stared at the little face smiling back at me. I wished he was mine.

Solicitor stayed silent while I studied the picture. When I finally turned to look at him he was staring into the distance. I felt a horrible stab of fear when I saw tears in his eyes. I waited for him to say something. When he did, he told me his son died two years ago.

His son drowned in a paddling pool. Solicitor and his wife were inside the house arguing when they heard a scream from the garden. His wife's mother found him in the pool. The tried to resuscitate him but it was too late.

Solicitor loved his son but he didn't love his wife. He told me that they'd thought about divorce before his son had died. It never worked between them. The had separate social lives, separate bank accounts, the even slept in separate beds. After the accident Solicitor and his wife separated. She moved to France and he bought a new place. They both needed new starts. They are still in touch and care for each other but their relationship is over.

I stayed with Solicitor last night. We held each other lost in our own thoughts.

He drove me to work this morning and told me he'd pick me up later. Before I got out of the car he kissed me and told me that he loved me.

Stoner knocked on my office door around 9am. I hugged him when I saw him. We talked for a while. I told him that I know about Solicitor's past. I forgot to ask Solicitor about Stoner last night so I asked Stoner. He told me that his cousin went to the same school as Solicitor's son. He doesn't know Solicitor personally but he knows that he had a son that died. Stoner was worried that he was using me and cheating on his wife. He didn't mean to leave me in the lurch yesterday he was really busy with a few external designers.

Although my situation with Solicitor has become very complicated in a very short space of time. I feel content because he opened up to me and shared something so close to him with me....

And he loves me!


Kitty said...

Oh wow!

I cannot imagine how terrible it is to lose a young child like that. He must have known the pits of despair.

But now he loves you, and you love him and you both know that. It's a very special, precious thing - to give and receive love. You are a lucky girl.

Take care :-) x

Michelle Hix said...

Oh my goodness Elise! This is so much more than I expected. I'm overwhelmed with emotion for you and him. This is really sad, and really serious and at the same time really human and touching. I'm a little disturbed by the fact that you had to find this out on your own. I wish terribly that he had come to you first. And I hate to say this again, but be careful, his emotions right now are in a crazy place, losing his son, a failed are probably exactly what he needs right now but also, it doesn't sound like he knows what he needs. Wow, this is so sad. You have a lot to think about and you both have a lot to learn about each other at this point. Hang in there.

Grilled Pizza said...

I'm so glad for you that he loves you! and so sad for his situation

hayley-emsley said...

Wow, i felt that emotion and had chills all over my body! I am so sorry about his son, that is so tragic! My mouth was wide open the whole time i was reading it!!!

I am happy for you though, finding out everything and also finding out that he DOES "love" you back! I am made up for you, i really am. Hopefully now you can be a proper couple without all the ??? hanging over your head!

He must have needed that time to clear his head and for Aimee to move to France shows that she is not interested in getting back with "solicitor", he must have felt bad lying to you about seeing his "sister".

I hope everything works out for you, i really do.

Hayley x

Glugster said...

Phew. Even though this is not the result I expected, I honestly believe it's a step in the right direction. And even though it was probably sad and shocking to finally get the truth, at least you got it straight from him, and I can imagine to a certain extent, you must feel very relieved.

Sounds like you had a good nights sleep for a change, so at least you can think a little clearer about all these things.

I think he really does love you. You can't always choose your past, but you can choose the person you want to have a future with. It's obvious he has chosen you. You don't want to loose him now.

BTW, being separated for more than year myself I know how difficult it is to open up to somebody else. You should feel priviledged that he trusts you enough to have opened up to you like that.

OK. Enough rambling. Hope I make sense. I'm tired so I might not.

Pixie said...

Think you got a result tjere Elise x Looking forward to more tales of the unexpected.

Pix x

Mike said...


Never saw that coming.

As a parent, I can tell you that even the thought of losing a child scares me to death.

I really hope it all works out well. Sounds like it is finally off to a good start.

Adam said...

The twist and turns of life!
9 years ago I needed a break from my job so one day while walking past a travel agent I stopped walked in bought a ticket to Japan, got the plane 1 week later and have since lived here, traveled quite extensively from here at every chance, been poor, been rich, been married, been divorced.
I have fallen for the right girl at the wrong times, and been with the wrong girl at the right time. and married the right girl at the right time, divorced the right girl at the right time also.
Driven too fast at the wrong time and been lazily cruising around in my car when I really needed to be somewhere I was yet unaware of and regretted it for some time.
It is for all the above reasons and more that I love this little trip we call life with each and every breath. Try not to examine the past for it is full of nothing, look not to the future as it will never come. Embrace the present as it is the only reality.
Solicitor, you now = good
Solicitor you 7 years ago= not good
Solicitor you in years to come= you'll find out...hehe enjoy the ride elise, I am enjoying the read!

Kathleen said...

Elise, I wrote to you earlier in the day, but I had connection problems and the post didn't go through. That is infuriating.

Anyway, I think everyone has made valid points, but I still have my suspicions. Call it the intuition of someone who's been burned (see Tea-totaller poem). I just don't trust this guy. Keep your eyes and ears open...I'm sorry for his loss, but to me it stands to reason that he and his wife would have an even stronger bond as a result.

e-mail me E!

C.Rag said...

Oh my what an emotional ride you must have suffered!

I'm giving you a virtual hug & I'm not a huggy type of person.

City Girl said...

Oh Elise! That is so heartbreaking...I'm sure, though, that in a way it's a relief to just finally have everything out in the open. I hope things continue to go well, and that your relationship with Solicitor will deepen after this! Best of luck hon xoxo

Cindy Breninger said...

How sad about his son...I can't imagine.

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Very sad for his loss - that goes without saying.

Still a bit hesitant about the lack of honesty shown in the past and even now.

He had to be pressed for the information.

Be careful.

Elise said...

Thanks for the comments and advice guys. It really means alot.


Cocaine Princess said...

This was such a beautiful heart-warming blog. I can't imagine what you must be going through but on some level a part of me does for some reason.
Cocaine Princess

Cocaine Princess said...

Princess here again,
i just want you to know that in my last comment I wrote 'I can't imagine what you must be going through but on some level a past of me does for some reason' Truth is I know what you are going through.
Cocaine Princess