The L Word

I said the L word...

I know, I know.... It was really stupid.

Solicitor looked amazing when he arrived on Friday. I kissed him and hugged him as soon as I saw him. I'd missed him so much.

Dinner was good. We spoke about everything; family, holidays, favourite films etc. I felt so relaxed with him. For the first time since I'd started seeing him my nerves remained in tact. I didn't melt every time our hands accidentally touched, or feel faint when he looked into my eyes.

After dinner he passed me a small box. He'd bought me a present from Paris. A pair of diamond earrings. They are amazing. Shaped like tear drops. I couldn't believe he had bought them for me. I was so surprised I didn't know what to say.

That night we made love. Its the only way I can describe it. He kissed me so much. Little butterfly kisses on my lips, my forehead, even on my eyes. Just as we were falling asleep it just slipped out. "I love you."

The next day I woke up and he was gone. There was a note on the kitchen counter: Had to go will call you soon. I felt like a complete idiot. Why the hell did I say it? Am I completely brain dead?

He did call. Last night he called and apologised for not calling sooner. Saturday was probably the most frustrating day of my life. It bought back memories of the last note that I'd found when I'd woken up. I don't know whether he's doing this on purpose but its really starting to mess me up.

He bought me diamonds! A guy doesn't buy a gift like that without it meaning something does he? But the next day he left a note and didn't call. He didn't say the L word back, and he hasn't mentioned it at all. I'm not the type of person that would use the word lightly and I don't know why it slipped out. Maybe I scared him. (These are just some of the thoughts constantly attacking my mind!)

This morning I arrived to work looking like hell. My hair was left loose and wildly windswept, I couldn't be bothered with make-up, and I decided to wear black jeans and a black jumper instead of traditional work clothes. Bimbo nearly had a fit when she saw me. She thought I was going to a funeral.

While she sorted out my make-up she chatted about Pierce and the baby. He's asked her to marry him. She thought he was only asking for the sake of the baby but as it turns out he'd bought a ring and was going to ask her on Christmas eve anyway. Its ruined his plans to have it in a Christmas cracker but it seems that they are both over the moon. Their baby will undoubtedly be gorgeous. I hope he/she inherits some smart genes.

Gay Boss laughed when he saw me. He said I look like a Goth. I'm glad he's taking pleasure out of my miserable appearance. I suppose Bimbo did get a bit carried away on the dark eyes. I think I'll lock myself in my office today. Drink some coffee. Search for some depressing love sick poems....