Monday, 19 November 2007

The L Word

I said the L word...

I know, I know.... It was really stupid.

Solicitor looked amazing when he arrived on Friday. I kissed him and hugged him as soon as I saw him. I'd missed him so much.

Dinner was good. We spoke about everything; family, holidays, favourite films etc. I felt so relaxed with him. For the first time since I'd started seeing him my nerves remained in tact. I didn't melt every time our hands accidentally touched, or feel faint when he looked into my eyes.

After dinner he passed me a small box. He'd bought me a present from Paris. A pair of diamond earrings. They are amazing. Shaped like tear drops. I couldn't believe he had bought them for me. I was so surprised I didn't know what to say.

That night we made love. Its the only way I can describe it. He kissed me so much. Little butterfly kisses on my lips, my forehead, even on my eyes. Just as we were falling asleep it just slipped out. "I love you."

The next day I woke up and he was gone. There was a note on the kitchen counter: Had to go will call you soon. I felt like a complete idiot. Why the hell did I say it? Am I completely brain dead?

He did call. Last night he called and apologised for not calling sooner. Saturday was probably the most frustrating day of my life. It bought back memories of the last note that I'd found when I'd woken up. I don't know whether he's doing this on purpose but its really starting to mess me up.
He bought me diamonds! A guy doesn't buy a gift like that without it meaning something does he? But the next day he left a note and didn't call. He didn't say the L word back, and he hasn't mentioned it at all. I'm not the type of person that would use the word lightly and I don't know why it slipped out. Maybe I scared him. (These are just some of the thoughts constantly attacking my mind!)

This morning I arrived to work looking like hell. My hair was left loose and wildly windswept, I couldn't be bothered with make-up, and I decided to wear black jeans and a black jumper instead of traditional work clothes. Bimbo nearly had a fit when she saw me. She thought I was going to a funeral.

While she sorted out my make-up she chatted about Pierce and the baby. He's asked her to marry him. She thought he was only asking for the sake of the baby but as it turns out he'd bought a ring and was going to ask her on Christmas eve anyway. Its ruined his plans to have it in a Christmas cracker but it seems that they are both over the moon. Their baby will undoubtedly be gorgeous. I hope he/she inherits some smart genes.

Gay Boss laughed when he saw me. He said I look like a Goth. I'm glad he's taking pleasure out of my miserable appearance. I suppose Bimbo did get a bit carried away on the dark eyes. I think I'll lock myself in my office today. Drink some coffee. Search for some depressing love sick poems....


Michelle Hix said...

Wow've had quite the weekend. If this happened to me I would be doing the exact same thing you are...freaking out! But not being in the situation, I can look at it from another perspective. You said it, can't take it back and shouldn't apologize for it. Let it be his issue while you parade around in your new earrings! Don't let the "L word slip", overshadow your joy this week!

Kitty said...

Diamond earrings are not to be sneezed at young lady! I think Michelle ^ has a great attitude - his response to your emotions are his issue. It took me a long time to learn that being myself is ok. Be yourself, and enjoy being yourself.

Mike said...

Some guys have a horrible time with the L word. It is much more symbolic of something they don't understand than anything else.

But yeah, when you get right down to it, diamond ear rings are a pretty serious matter.

Just give him time to process the information. Most of us guys are just a little slow when it comes to that word.

Kathleen said...

Elise my dear,

Read this book:Men who Can't Love (1988) How to recognize a commitment-phobic man before he breaks your heart
by Carter and Sokol Steven and Julia

Love, Kat

Simply Curious said...

The L word can be dangerous. Often men feel the same, but aren't ready to say it. I'm very, very careful about letting that word slip out. I'm easily devastated and no response or a kiss on my forehead would make me feel like a child that was just told that there was no Santa.

hayley-emsley said...


Nothing says "LOVE" than diamonds. Maybe he hasn't said it, but surely the diamonds signified the same feelings, but not verbally? That is my take on it. It's never nice to say the "L" word and not hear it back. It doesn't mean he doesn't feel the same, maybe he does, just not ready to say it yet? He called you and that is all that counts, i am sure if you had scared him off he wouldn't have called?

One more thing, your "nights" together seem more connected and loving than before, he kissed you gently and softer, and as you said you "made love".

Hayley x

black_mamba said...

Whoa girl, those are huge rocks ;D

The 'L word' IMO is probably the most misused, most jeopardous and most debased word in the english language. It also is the most surprising and the most glorious.

Being lovesick is a good thing :D

Anonymous said...

I would have to second just about everything already said here. Try not to feel broken and remain patient. Do not let it slip again, and see where it goes.
ps I have a birthmark that is a perfect tear drop shape
pss I have no diamond earrings
psss the green on your pages background is very very much like the green I have been applying to my new walls.
much respect~d

Cocaine Princess said...

Wow- diamonds! Always a girls best friend. Perhaps he was just having a hard time saying how he really felt and decided to show you by buying diamonds? Diamonds are a serious gift for a guy to give a girl.
Cocaine Princess

Linda and her Surroundings said...

The "L" word. Oh, well, try to not toss it around too much or it may come back to haunt you. In the meantime, just enjoy the moment as life is rather short and should be sweet.

Diamonds are quite delicious, just the sort of thing a mistress might get...A book is what a man gives to a woman he is REALLY serious about..

However, diamonds are not a girl's best friend - Tweezerman tweezers are. Don't forget that.

Elise said...

Thanks for the comments guys. I could do with some advice.

I hope what most of you say is true. He does but he hasn't said it yet...

Kat: I'll check out the book. Maybe he's just one of those guys who can't love.

Linda: What you say actually makes sense... A girls best friend are tweezers!

Grilled Pizza said...

Thank you for leaving such a nice comment when you had all this going on!
He'll talk to you about it when he's ready, enjoy your diamonds and dont let it spoil things x

Pixie said...

A little tip, always get a man to love you a bit more than you love him, just a teeny bit.

Always but always hold back an inch, never give it all.

Its called survival.

- anyway those diamonds looked fab

(have tried to scratch glass with them yet??)


Elise said...

I did try scratching glass wih them... Its crazy how it actually works!