On Friday afternoon Gay Boss came back to my office with stacks of papers. He locked the door behind him and handed me a a booklet of A4 sheets stapled together. It was the transcription of the last meeting with Old Prick. I read the highlighted section and nearly fainted. Old Prick accused Gay Boss of having a "personal relationship" with me! Oh my God what a fucking idiot!
Okay just to clear the air, not many people actually know that Gay Boss is Gay. Scruffy Artist and I are the only ones that know. (I sort of went through his computer once and found something. I couldn't keep it in so I told Scruffy Artist)
I started laughing so hard when I read the transcript that I started crying. When I'd calmed down I realised the seriousness of the situation. Old Prick had accused the Managing Director of having an affair with an employee. He also accused us both of trying to manage him out of the company. This looks bad. Really bad.
I hope this accusation doesn't go too far, it wouldn't be fair on Gay Boss if he had to come out of the closet in public. And more importantly its not fair on me! Its not my fault if Old Prick is incompetent and can't do his job properly. He had no right to drag me into this.
I spent the weekend plotting ways to punish Old Prick. I went through public humiliation and ended up thinking up a crazy plot to hire criminals to petrol bomb his house. I realise that most of my plans are not feasible. I mean I don't actually know that many criminals. And to be honest I don't really want to go down for arson, or worse murder.
What should I do? I need some help here