Friday, 5 October 2007

Undercover Agents

I invited Gay Boss to lunch. I needed to keep him occupied for a while so Stoner could check out his computer history etc. So I struck up a conversation about Old Prick.

Bitching about Old Prick can easily fill anyone's day and I also wanted to find out about what Gay Boss was dying to tell me yesterday. He's still sworn to code of confidentiality so I couldn't get much out of him. Stalled him for an hour before he needed to get back to his office. I called Stoner to warn him and I told him to meet me outside Admin in 15mins for a quick update.

The info was juicy! Stoner managed to hack into Gay Boss's email account. How? Apparently a password is most likely to be:

  • Wife/husbands name

  • Pet name

  • Mothers name

  • Name of street

Gay Boss definitely loves his mum!

Stoner basically read a few emails from 4eyes... They had planned to meet last night! Shit it looks like Stoner was right. He did see them together. There was a part of me that thought that the effect of the E may have warped his mind and he imagined it, but here it is. Evidence.

Now what?

Okay I know this was really mean but I just needed to check something. I asked Bimbo in Admin for a small favour. I asked her to call Accounts and ask 4eyes to come and check out the invoice mailings. She's not the brightest person in the world so its easy to make out there's been a bit of a mix up.

I then went back to my office and told Old prick that Gay Boss is planning on going over the Client files. Predictable Old Prick got up saying that he should really be there so they can both go through them. I then called Gay Boss to tell him Old Prick was coming to see him. Gay Boss hates being bothered Friday afternoon so he decided to take a walk to avoid him.

Whew! Manipulating the situation is so hard!

The only place anyone goes to avoid Old Prick is Admin. Old Prick strongly believes Admin is like an old "typing pool" full of secretaries. Its beneath him to even enter the offices.

So 4eyes and Gay Boss have to bump into each other... The perfect coincidence!

I called Stoner to get him to sneak over and the low down.

Ten minutes later he called and said they're going out tonight. Its a bar in Vauxhall.

Oh my god! its worse than I thought! For those of you that don't know about London Vauxhall is home to a grotty pub called The Vauxhall Tavern. The windows are always blacked-out and the queue is predominantly full of butch, bald biker-type gay men. There's no way Stoner would ever go there even if he was high on E. Its not a place for happy-go-lucky people. Gay rapes are common around there...

Fuck! I've done no work today. I can't concentrate. Shit this is bad! What should I do? How the hell am I supposed to work when I know the sick, twisted secrets around here? Then again how do people work without dramas.

Better copy power point docs onto memory stick. Will sort out work Sunday night. Need to think of a plan...


Keriam said...

I love this. Your job sounds a bit like mine. Lots of controversy! Can't wait to see what happens with gay boss and 4 eyes.

j.elliot said...

wow, what a duplicitous mind you possess! I love it.