Gay Boss almost had a heart attack when he checked his email from home. I found him in his office this morning wrapped up in two jumpers sipping hot Lemsip with a mountain of paper at his feet. He handed me the printed email and I couldn't believe what Old Prick had written:
- He claimed that the reason that existing clients had not been contact by him in the last three months was due to a technical problem with his Internet and phone line. (Okay we had a minor difficulty with the Internet a while ago but it was just our office. We were free to use the Internet in other offices. As for the phone line, there were absolutely no problems at all!)
- He also claimed the technical difficulty had hindered his communication with New Business Contacts. (The minor problem with the Internet has no relevance to any of this!)
Gay Boss asked me to check my email history to find an email sent from Old Prick during that three month period. Apparently Old Prick has a massive gap in his inbox during that period, highlighting the "lack of Internet access". Fuck! I updated my email last Monday. I deleted all emails from my inbox to clear space!
At the request of Gay Boss I called Scruffy Artist to his office. Scruffy Artist has a history of random emails from Old Prick and Gay Boss needed consented access to all of them. The three of us sat together while Gay Boss explained the whole legal problem. We then went through our emails gathering as much evidence as possible against the alleged "technical difficulty".
Unfortunately I have no emails at all during the specified period. I've spent ages speaking to the software company going through codes and passwords so that they can retrieve my deleted mail and export it back to my inbox. No such luck yet...
The whole matter of Old Prick being "invited to leave" was supposed to stay confidential between Old Prick, Gay Boss and CEO. Now that Scruffy Artist and I know all the gritty details we both have to keep our mouths shut about the situation so we don't cause a real legal battle. I am absolutely dying to tell Stoner the situation, I know he can be discrete. But I have to hold myself back...