Thursday, 6 December 2007

The Elite Oxford Group


I spent the whole morning playing Pacman on my computer. I made seven cups of tea, ate four Jacob's crackers with Philadelphia cheese and I rearranged my desk. What a depressing start to a day....


I decided to take a wander down to Admin to see if Bimbo was as bored as I was. I found her sitting at her desk intently looking at her computer screen. She jumped when she spotted me.


"I can't find it!" she groaned

"Find what?"

"The article on the Oxford University Orgy Parties!"


Maybe I'd better explain.


A new part time employee joined the company on Monday. He's a student at a local university and he's earning his extra cash by sorting out the incoming and outgoing mail. He seems like a very quiet, aloof person. Almost gothic with his attitude to social interaction...


Bimbo, being a sensitive person, felt sorry for him so she invited him to have lunch with us yesterday. Hoping to bring Weirdo out of his shell I began a conversation about university, something that he could relate to. I did not expect the following:


"Did you go to Oxford?" (At this point I thought; Do I come across that posh?!)

"No, Oxford isn't really my scene. I stayed in London."

"Damn! I'm dying to find someone who went there."

"Why?"

"Because of their elite drug and orgy parties"


Bimbo choked on a mouthful of chicken salad. I struggled so hard not to laugh out loud. Who in their right mind would say something like that to complete strangers? I thought he'd realise what he'd said and stop there, but no... he carried on!


Apparently, Oxford University have a elite group of people. Once a year this group meet for a "session". They meet at a barn in a rural field. The barn has blacked out windows and is fully equipped with showers, toilets etc. Before the group are allowed in the barn they must produce medical results for STI tests and they are searched for any cameras or other recording devices, including mobile phones. They basically spend the night taking drugs and "doing everyone" as Weirdo put it.


"Man, I'd love to be there! Can you imagine? Buzzing on pills and just doing everyone!"


I glanced at Bimbo. She was red and in total shock. The silence dragged on so I thought I should say something.


"So, how do you know this?"

"I read it in an article. The guy was actually there!"


I guess Bimbo decided to find the article herself this morning. She'd used every search engine and checked out every online newspaper. She looked extremely frustrated when I found her. I asked her why she was so upset. Tears welled up in her big blue eyes. She couldn't sleep last night. She kept thinking about England's politicians, top lawyers etc doing that kind of thing at university.


I calmed her down and said that Weirdo was probably making it up, or he was misinformed.


I wouldn't be surprised if it was true...

22 comments:

Grilled Pizza said...

You could always tell him you found out where it is......
Take a video camera.....

C.Rag said...

This could also be a story they tell losers like him.

If this is a huge traditional more people would know about it or have proof.

The Divine Miss M said...

@grilled pizza - I love that!

@Elise - you should take him aside and tell him you didn't want to say anything in front of Bimbo but that you do know about it and tell him loads of details and then rock up with a camera!

Oh the evilness

Kitty said...

I don't live that far from Oxford - it's the first I've heard of it. I want to know why I have never either been invited or heard first hand about it!

:-) x

Bridget said...

Hee hee hee! I'm obviously going off to Google to find this article.

Tiff said...

I was at one of these...... I think. Oh wait no, that was a Wal-mart

Michelle Hix said...

First off, your first paragraph made me laugh because I read it and thought, "oh that sounds like a fun relaxing day" and then you followed up with how depressing it was!

i am the diva said...

woah, i totally went to the wrong university...

i have tagged you in a meme if you're interested.

A Girl, A Boy, and Me said...

The boy has no cleverness. How hard can it be to start up an orgy group? Heck - forget the barn, rent a suite at the Ritz. I'd much rather be naked on satin or high count organic Egyptian cotton sheets than a stinking barn.

Daszzle said...

My first thought was: Wow you must seriously have to pee now. My second thought was: You've got to be kidding me. My third thought was: Well that sure beats any crazy secret society I've ever read of--- kudos Weirdo mailboy haha.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

some of my best friends have orgy parties. they have a strong 10 year marriage, and every couple of months they host or go to a couple swapping party.

by looking at them, suburban, white collar, 2.5 kids the whole nine yards, you would never expect they do that kind of thing.

makes ya wonder if everyone needs a little sharing and caring party to make their relationships healthier.

Slyde said...

just stumbled accross your site...

truly outstanding stuff, and some great stories... i will be comming back!

Kathleen said...

This doesn't surprise me in the least. I can't imagine participating in it, but it does not surprise me.
Imagine, handing over medical tests to indulge in lusts of the flesh. Wow! I must be getting old.

Elise, I've done your meme. Check it out!
Kat

Chelle B. said...

no no no...he has it all wrong.

It isn't Oxford elites, it is Global Politico elites who attended Oxford, (and Yale and Harvard et al.) and they meet at Bohemian Grove in California to have a week-long orgy with nubile young boys that their underground kidnapping ring provides.

Afterwards they sacrifice one boy during their worship ceremony for Molech and make decisions regarding global domination.

You really need to set him straight on this before he gets caught up in it!! :o

Chelle B.
The Offended Blogger

Deb said...

I'd send them both to an alumni site, and tell them it's all in code. Donation = orgasm, for example.

Cocaine Princess said...

Every time I read your entry I find something new to love about you!!!!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Nothing surprises me with the "stiff upper lip" reputation of the English.

I always think that behind the facade of politeness they are raging sex maniacs up to spanking and assorted fetishes.

Of course, that is not what is motivating me for a trip to the UK next March...........!

Elise said...

How do you know all the details Chelle B? Is there something you're not telling us?

Clueless Cat said...

That sounds pretty crazy. As far as I know, there aren't any barns around Oxford...and this is the also my first time hearing about this!

Sounds totally crazy. haha

Ceelu said...

Pacman is always a healthy start to the day! Drug cum orgy parties unfortunately are not... I haven't heard anything like this from my Oxford student friends, so I wouldn't be completely surprised if this is just a rumour.

Thanks for dropping by! x

dh stern said...

sounds like fun real or not. thanks for visiting again Elise.

Christian Robbins said...

Anybody interested in arranging a sex party I can host