A date with a gay guy...

I called Alec yesterday and explained the situation. He stayed completely silent while I babbled, apologised twenty times and begged him over and over again not to tell Gay Boss or I'll get sacked! Once I'd made my twenty minute speech I realised that Alec was struggling to laugh quietly. "Your a sweet little gummy drop aren't you?"

Oh my God! He's so camp, I can't wait to go shopping with him. I can be his fag-hag.

There's something about camp guys. Every girl wants a gay best buddy to take out. Someone to bitch with. Someone who gives a real opinion on clothes. I had a camp friend when I was at university. We always went to dances, restaurants etc together. He treated me like a princess it was wonderful!

Gay Boss is not a camp guy. Not many people know or even suspect that he is gay. I found out by "accidentally" checking his Internet history about a year ago. I told Stoner and Scruffy Artist. Well, I couldn't keep something that big to myself could I?

The date with Alec is still on for tonight. We're going to go out for dinner and I'm going to fill him in on Gay Boss. I can't wait! I hope he's like Gok Wan...

Twice in one day!

The Gorgeous Glugster presented me with this award yesterday. (Luckily the colour scheme isn't too far off my blog theme!) I'd like pass this award on to 7 fantastic bloggers (I'm apologise to all of the bloggers that I have missed out) :

Hayley Emsley
Linda's Sphere
poetikat's invisible keepsakes
michelle hix
Cocaine Princess
Mental Poo
Unfolding Pages

Hayley also tagged me yesterday with a meme:
Here are the rules:

*Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

*Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

*Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

*Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random facts... okay:

1) Sometimes, especially when I'm sitting in traffic, I feel an urge to push cyclists off their cycles as they pass me. I have no idea why I feel like doing this. I've never done it, and I never will, but my hands itch to lean out of the car window and give them a little nudge....

2) I can watch an operation without a problem, but when a child grazes a knee and starts bleeding I feel like crying and I can't stop trembling.

3) I buy my sexy underwear from Marks&Spencer. Who would have thought a shop made for middle aged women can have such raunchy lace.

4) I french kissed a girl called Hannah. I went to a gay bar with a bunch of people when I was 17. A beautiful brunette sat next to me at the bar and I told her I was straight. She asked for one kiss and I thought "Why not?"

5) I'm deathly afraid of needles. Once my doctor had to chase me out of the surgery and down the street when I made a run for it.

6) I love toffee cheesecake.

7) I don't like Oxford Street. It too congested. By the time I'm done with shopping I am so frustrated I have an urge to kill most people around me. I would rather not shop then go there.

I hope I didn't bore you all!

Apologies if you've already done this but I'd like to tag:

Linda's Sphere

michelle hix

Cocaine Princess
Mental Poo
Unfolding Pages
Will
Glugster

This is bad!

I checked Gay Boss's email this morning. He asked me to check his work email every couple of days just in case something important arises. I also checked his personal email... I know I shouldn't have, email is very personal but I just couldn't resist. I'm a very curious type of person.

As I mentioned in a previous post, it can be quite easy to hack into email. The password is normally:

1) pets name

2) mothers name

3) name of partner or person you're sleeping with

Gay Boss still has his mother's name.

I found a rather strange email with a racy attachment form a guy called Alec. The email simply said:

Hi, this is me. Hope you like it. Alec

I opened the attachment. Alec was standing naked in the pic. He was holding his hard member with a cheeky grin. I was completely shocked! He did have a nice body though. And a sweet smile. Nice hair.

I know what your thinking but I was bored okay!

I decided to sign into Gay Boss's msn to see if Alec was online. He was!

Alec: hi remember me?

Me pretending to be Gay Boss: hi

Alec: we met on gaydar did you get the email?

Me pretending to be Gay Boss: yeah... you look good!

Alec: yeah? well i did say i'd send you a pic remember?

I couldn't help but flirt! He's a sweet guy and I just acted like any single girl or gay guy would. Most people would probably say good bye and sign out but not me. You know that little voice of reason that tells you to stop because you're about to do something stupid? Well I think mine died or something.

I sort of agreed to a date. Um... I don't quite know what to do. I got really carried away and I dug myself a big hole. This is bad. I could get into a lot of trouble for this. Hopefully Gay Boss will be too busy in Peru to sign in to msn.

In the mean time I need to clear up this mess... what should I do?

Male and Female Friendship?

I took a "sick" day from work yesterday. Solicitor and I just couldn't be bothered to get out of bed. Things are a lot more relaxed between us now. I think we really broke a barrier with our deep conversation last week.

On Saturday we went out for dinner with Bimbo and Pierce. Although we booked a table at a nice Thai restaurant we ended up going to pizza express. (Thai food makes Bimbo nauseous). We had a good night. Solicitor and Pierce got on really well together. I always think its nice when friends get along with the person you're seeing.

On our drive back to Solicitors after dinner we had a conversation about friends. I told Solicitor that I have more male friends than female friends.

Solicitor: The only reason you have more male friends is because you're a good looking girl.

Me: Excuse me! The only reason I have more male friends is because good female friends are hard to come by. Gossip and bitching always gets in the way.

Solicitor: Do you honestly think that half of the men that you know would have bothered to speak to you and form a friendship if you weren't pretty?

Me: Yes I do! Men are not that shallow!

Solicitor: I bet every one of your male friends has thought about you sexually before.

Me: I don't think so! Do you think about your female friends that way?

Solicitor: I don't have many now. But when I did sex would enter my mind a least once for a few of the really pretty ones.

Me: Men and women can be Friends without thinking about sex.

Solicitor: That's what women think!

Me: So I should be jealous of your thoughts about your female friends then?

Solicitor: I don't have any pretty female friends so no. I should be worried about your male friends perving on you!

Me: What?!

The conversation turned into a debate but it ended well. When we got to his front door we were already kissing and thumbling with buttons...

I'm still convinced that men and women can be friends without one of them thinking about sex and Solicitor is convinced that any male friend of a pretty woman has thought about sex with her at least once.

Any thoughts?

A nice mug of hot chocolate

I'd like to thank everyone who gave me advice and encouragement during my little emotional episode. Its quite a relief to write everything down and receive lots of support.

I sincerely hope that Old Prick isn't using his current unemployed status to search and read blogs. It occurred to me late last night that he may stumble across mine. Not only would he find previous blog entries about himself but he'd also realise that I do have feelings and that like most women, I do cry!

Work is extremely quiet today. Gay Boss has left to embark on a travelling experience in South America. The Creative team have decided to sleep in after working through the night last night. Bimbo has a doctors appointment (for a really good reason this time, not because she thinks she may have contracted AIDS from accidentally brushing past a skinning bald man) . And I never bother with Accounts... The department is like walking into a morgue.

CEO called this morning. He always gets worried when Gay Boss goes on holiday. He seems to think the employees will set fire to the building and run around holding up banners that deface the company logo. He nervously spoke to me for ages about calling him if anything goes wrong. I really wanted him to appoint me Stand-in Manging Director through to the end of the year, but he doesn't believe in temporary elevation of employee status. He thinks it causes unnecessary tension.

Its Friday, and I may treat myself and download the latest episode of Ugly Betty from 4od and watch it at my desk with a nice mug of hot chocolate....

Cheers!

Her name is Aimee

Her name is Aimee. Solicitor's wife's name is Aimee. He went to France to see his wife not his sister.

Last night I went to Solicitor's place. It felt like years since I'd seen him last and I felt a painful stab in my stomach when he open the door. He hugged me and held me close for a while before we went in to his living room. I told him that I know something is not right and I just want him to be honest with me. He kissed my hand and held it while he told me everything.

Solicitor is married. His divorce will be finalised in two months. He's been married for 7 years and has known Aimee for 8. When he told me this I felt a chill run through me. Solicitor and I had met 7 years ago....

He didn't avoid the issue. They broke up the summer before his final year at university. They had been together for a year and it wasn't working. He said they were like chalk and cheese, the connection really wasn't there. I met him that Autumn. The morning after we slept together she called him and said she needed to see him. He left me a note for me and left.

Solicitor told me that he had every intention of calling me after he'd seen her but things didn't work out the way he thought they would. She told him she was pregnant. He did what he thought was the right thing and he stayed with her and married her.

They had a little boy. Solicitor showed me a picture of him. He looks just like him. The same dark piercing eyes, the same nose. Beautiful. I couldn't stop the tears falling when I held the picture. I couldn't move I just stared at the little face smiling back at me. I wished he was mine.

Solicitor stayed silent while I studied the picture. When I finally turned to look at him he was staring into the distance. I felt a horrible stab of fear when I saw tears in his eyes. I waited for him to say something. When he did, he told me his son died two years ago.

His son drowned in a paddling pool. Solicitor and his wife were inside the house arguing when they heard a scream from the garden. His wife's mother found him in the pool. The tried to resuscitate him but it was too late.

Solicitor loved his son but he didn't love his wife. He told me that they'd thought about divorce before his son had died. It never worked between them. The had separate social lives, separate bank accounts, the even slept in separate beds. After the accident Solicitor and his wife separated. She moved to France and he bought a new place. They both needed new starts. They are still in touch and care for each other but their relationship is over.

I stayed with Solicitor last night. We held each other lost in our own thoughts.

He drove me to work this morning and told me he'd pick me up later. Before I got out of the car he kissed me and told me that he loved me.

Stoner knocked on my office door around 9am. I hugged him when I saw him. We talked for a while. I told him that I know about Solicitor's past. I forgot to ask Solicitor about Stoner last night so I asked Stoner. He told me that his cousin went to the same school as Solicitor's son. He doesn't know Solicitor personally but he knows that he had a son that died. Stoner was worried that he was using me and cheating on his wife. He didn't mean to leave me in the lurch yesterday he was really busy with a few external designers.

Although my situation with Solicitor has become very complicated in a very short space of time. I feel content because he opened up to me and shared something so close to him with me....

And he loves me!

I can't find Stoner

I can't find Stoner.

He didn't come into work today and he's phone is switched off.

Solicitor called last night. I felt really emotional when I heard his voice. He sounded so easy going I just wanted to see him and be held by him. He wanted to see me but I managed to say no. I told him that I had a lot of work to catch up on. It wasn't really a lie. I do have a lot to do. He asked me what was wrong. He sounded so concerned, I was afraid my voice would break. I mustered up as much control as I could and told him I was tired. I felt so lonely when we hung up.

I look like hell again. I came into work having approximately 3 hours sleep. Bimbo decided to try out lilac eyeshadow on me today, apparently it sets off my green eyes (whatever that means). She's as happy as can be at the moment. She's even loving her morning sickness. I can't really understand that, but then again I've never been in that situation....

I've called Stoner countless times and he won't pick up.

I was supposed to do something today but I can't remember what it was....

They are hundreds of questions in my mind that I want to ask Solicitor:

1)Are you married?

2)Are you seeing anybody else?

3)Have you killed anybody?

4)Did you kill your wife?

5)How do you know Stoner?

6)How does Stoner know you?

7)What is going on?

8)Why did you buy me diamonds?

9)Do you love me?

10)If you do why didn't you say it?

11)If you don't why did you buy me diamonds?

I'm not thinking clearly. If I spoke to him now I'd make a fool of myself.

I need to speak to Stoner.

Where the hell is he?!

Smoking in the disabled toilets

I don't normally smoke, I officially gave up when I graduated from university, but this morning I reached from my squashed emergency cigarette and made my way to the disabled toilets just outside the Accounts department. By law we're not allowed to smoke at work but it was raining and I didn't want to get soaked.

The toilets are what most people regard as a safe haven. They have never been used, the tiles look brand new and I don't think anyone has ever lifted the lid of the seat. Unlike the rest of the toilets in the building, the disabled toilets have a lock on the inside.

The door was locked when I got there and there was a slight suspicious smell coming through. Stoner from the Creative department was inside smoking a spliff. I knocked on the door and whispered for him to let me in. I locked the door behind me and sat on the ledge near the sink. Stoner flushed the remainder of his spliff down the sink and sat on the ledge next to me.

I've missed speaking to him. Although Bimbo is technically my closest friend at work I find myself confiding more in Stoner. Bimbo tends to speak without thinking and I don't particularly feel like having my life broadcast around work.

I gave Stoner an update on the last few weeks. Old Prick's accusation. Meeting Solicitor. The diamonds. The L word. Stoner was suprised that Solicitor and I were seeing each other. I'm suprised he even knows Solicitor. He knows something. I can tell. When I asked him he tried to avoid the question.

I got angry. I'd just poured my heart out and if Stoner has some information that I should know about then I think he has a moral obligation to tell me. He hugged me and promised he'd tell me whatever it is but he needs to check out something first.

Check something first? Oh my God! Solicitors married isn't he?

I can't stop thinking about it. Stoner has disappeared for the day. He apparently has a meeting with a website designer this afternoon and I can't get hold of him. I feel a horrible dull pain in the pit of my stomach. I'm terrified. I don't know what Stoner knows but I'm scared I won't be able to handle it.

The L Word

I said the L word...

I know, I know.... It was really stupid.

Solicitor looked amazing when he arrived on Friday. I kissed him and hugged him as soon as I saw him. I'd missed him so much.

Dinner was good. We spoke about everything; family, holidays, favourite films etc. I felt so relaxed with him. For the first time since I'd started seeing him my nerves remained in tact. I didn't melt every time our hands accidentally touched, or feel faint when he looked into my eyes.

After dinner he passed me a small box. He'd bought me a present from Paris. A pair of diamond earrings. They are amazing. Shaped like tear drops. I couldn't believe he had bought them for me. I was so surprised I didn't know what to say.

That night we made love. Its the only way I can describe it. He kissed me so much. Little butterfly kisses on my lips, my forehead, even on my eyes. Just as we were falling asleep it just slipped out. "I love you."

The next day I woke up and he was gone. There was a note on the kitchen counter: Had to go will call you soon. I felt like a complete idiot. Why the hell did I say it? Am I completely brain dead?

He did call. Last night he called and apologised for not calling sooner. Saturday was probably the most frustrating day of my life. It bought back memories of the last note that I'd found when I'd woken up. I don't know whether he's doing this on purpose but its really starting to mess me up.

He bought me diamonds! A guy doesn't buy a gift like that without it meaning something does he? But the next day he left a note and didn't call. He didn't say the L word back, and he hasn't mentioned it at all. I'm not the type of person that would use the word lightly and I don't know why it slipped out. Maybe I scared him. (These are just some of the thoughts constantly attacking my mind!)

This morning I arrived to work looking like hell. My hair was left loose and wildly windswept, I couldn't be bothered with make-up, and I decided to wear black jeans and a black jumper instead of traditional work clothes. Bimbo nearly had a fit when she saw me. She thought I was going to a funeral.

While she sorted out my make-up she chatted about Pierce and the baby. He's asked her to marry him. She thought he was only asking for the sake of the baby but as it turns out he'd bought a ring and was going to ask her on Christmas eve anyway. Its ruined his plans to have it in a Christmas cracker but it seems that they are both over the moon. Their baby will undoubtedly be gorgeous. I hope he/she inherits some smart genes.

Gay Boss laughed when he saw me. He said I look like a Goth. I'm glad he's taking pleasure out of my miserable appearance. I suppose Bimbo did get a bit carried away on the dark eyes. I think I'll lock myself in my office today. Drink some coffee. Search for some depressing love sick poems....

"The Name's Pierce...."

Bimbo is pregnant.

She called me late last night hysterically crying. I told her to calm down. I honestly believed that she'd got it wrong; mistaken positive for negative again. It took almost an hour to drive to her place. I was absolutely freezing and slightly pissed off with her.

When I arrived I told her take the test again. The blue line appeared. I needed a cup of tea. It was going to be a long night.

After another hour of considering her options I convinced her to call her boyfriend. As soon as he answered his phone Bimbo began crying hysterically again. I had to take over and speak to him. I asked him to come over because she needed him.

Bimbo's boyfriend looks like Pierce Brosnan! I couldn't help but stare when I opened the door. I half expected him to say "The name's Bond, James Bond."

He was really sweet and concerned when he saw what a state Bimbo was in; she was wrapped in a Mickey Mouse bed sheet quietly hiccuping from crying so much. I was tired and desperate to get home so I put the kettle on and left them to talk.

She's taken the day off work. Pierce called earlier to thank me for last night. He seems to care a lot about Bimbo.

Solicitor is coming back from France today. I've invited him to my place dinner tonight. I'm not sure what I'm going to cook yet but I hope surfing the Internet will give me some ideas.

After seeing how much Pierce genuinely cared about Bimbo I can't help thinking about Solicitor. I wonder if we'll ever be together properly. I wonder what it would be like if he actually really loved me. I feel a physical ache when I think about him loving me. Its so strong. Its way too early to be thinking about it, but it doesn't stop me wanting it...

I feel quite emotional now. Get a hold of yourself Elise! Stop being so stupid

Psychological Issues

I have a strong suspicion that Bimbo may have psychological issues.

I've known Bimbo for almost 4 years and we're roughly the same age. There are three things about her personality that stand out;

1) Bimbo is an extremely emotional person. Whenever she is happy she bounces around and sings out loud with a huge smile on her face. She very much like a child on Christmas morning. She also tends to cry a lot regardless of where she is. If she sees a sad RSPCA poster on the train she will cry, even if she is travelling alone. I worry about her being in the outside world. There are hundreds of sick people that would spot her venerability a mile away and take advantage of her.

2) Bimbo is not the smartest person in the world. In fact she seems to be quite far from it. For a long time Bimbo believed that you had to be elected to vote in a general election. I remember the actual conversation 3 years ago when she discovered that she could vote;

Bimbo: "I feel bad for Tony Blair. He's just trying to do his job. It must be hard being in charge"

Me: "Well you should vote Labour in the next election"

Bimbo: "I would definitely, if I got elected to vote"

Me: "....um...what?"

Bimbo: "You know, if I got that letter in the post saying that I've been elected to vote. I've never had one so I should get one soon."

Me: "But you can vote.... that's the whole idea of a general election!"

Bimbo: "You mean anytime?"

Me: "Um yes!"

I really don't know what planet she's been living on so far...

3) Bimbo is a hypacondriact. Its very difficult to be one if you can't grasp what the actual condition is. She once hit her head on a cupboard door and freaked out because she thought it caused a brain tumor. Most GPs have a three day waiting list for an appointment, but Bimbo seems to get one straight away. I think the doctor must get a kick out of what she tells him. It must brighten up his dull day...

This morning I found her at her desk read eyed flicking through Heat magazine. Hoping that she wasn't upset that Sienna Miller had the same shoes as her, I asked her what was wrong. She burst into tears and told me that she thinks she's pregnant.

I would like to believe her I really would. But I really don't know what to say. I advised her to take a pregnancy test. Apparently the clinic won't give her a free one because she's had quite a few this year so she'll have to pay £29.99 for one at the local chemist on her way home from work.

When I got to my office I started to worry. What if she is pregnant? How on earth is she going to deal with it?

Friendship is so straining on the brain!

Confessions in the dark...

The mid week blues have finally caught up with me. I spent the better part of yesterday throwing out Old Prick's old stuff and personalising my office. November and December are the quietest times of year at work and most people spend their time clearing out old computer documents, reorganising offices etc. The days go by slower and weeks feel like months.

Solicitor is on his way France to visit his sister in Paris. I miss him already. Every second thought in my mind is about him. What is wrong with me?

Last night he tied me to his bed with my stockings. He asked me about my past experiences with lovers while he kissed and teased me with his hands and tongue. Confessing in the dark while tied up was strangely quite a turn on. He whispered softly in my ear when he asked questions. His sexy voice and warm breath sent shivers through me. He asked me about orgasms that I'd experienced and I found myself being completely honest. I told him that although my exes were good in bed nobody had ever made me come the way he had.

Being teased and horny is an amazing lie detector test. Its too difficult to construct sentences let alone bend the truth. He was happy with what I said and drove me wild and insane with pleasure. Solicitor is an amazing animal in bed. Even thinking about last night makes me hot and wet.

He won't be back for a few days. I suppose I should use the next few days constructively; groom my eyebrows, paint my nails etc. Today is dragging on. I feel tired and depressed...

Bimbo however is in an extremely happy mood. She bounced into my office this morning dressed in black and red. She always gets excited during the build up to Christmas. Decorating the Admin office is number one on her agenda for today. This year she's even bought everyone personalised red Santa hats. She insists that we all wear them from 1st December. Its impossible to smile when she's hyperactive and desperate to make me feel happy.

Fortune, Honesty & Red Lace

I took the day off work on Friday, something I hardly do on the spur of the moment.

I spent the day milling around Camden; window shopping, snacking etc when I came across a psychic in one of the indoor markets. She was sitting quietly in a corner petting a huge black Labrador. She suddenly looked up at me and smiled. She was quite a young woman, she looked barely 17. A sweet baby face ruined with black lipstick and eyeliner. I smiled back and went to pet the dog.

"£6.42 for your fortune."

Such an odd price. I reached in my pocket for spare change, hoping to show her that I didn't have enough money for the pleasure of a reading. There was £6.42 exactly in pound coins, ten pence pieces and coppers. She smiled and gestured to the chair opposite her. Feeling strangely sick, I sat down and handed her the handful of money....

I decided to wear the red lace for my date with Solicitor that night.

He looked amazing as usual. He greeted me with a lingering kiss before leading me into the kitchen. The breakfast bar was set for a candle lit dinner for two complete with a bottle of red South African wine; Merlot Veenwouden Classic 1997. Very nice!

Solicitor cooks as well as he makes love. I was amazed with the different flavours of every mouthful. Even the wine was a perfect compliment to the meal.

During dinner I asked him about the last time. He looked at me and answered honestly. He told me that he was young and stupid. He felt a strong connection between the two of us and he was afraid that I only felt it because he was my first. He didn't want us to be together if I only thought I felt something. He didn't want to speak to me again because he was afraid we wouldn't be able to say goodbye. We could barely be in each others company without touching or kissing.

I believe him. I might be stupid but I do.

After dinner we kissed our way to the bedroom. Red lace was the right choice! He traced around the outside of the material with his lips while he slowly pulled my underwear aside. He slipped his tongue inside me and took me to levels of pleasure I had never experienced with anyone, even with him.

That night we made love over and over again. And the same the next night. And the same the night after....

Bailey's Truffles

Old Prick cleared out his desk early this morning and left. The only things that give any indication that he worked here are the small box of Bailey's Truffles that he always kept in his desk draw and the camel coloured coat that he's forgotten.

Unfortunately I didn't witness his departure as I was in the boardroom preparing for the corporate event. CEO called an emergency staff meeting a few hours before the event attendees were due to arrive to break the news. Most people were surprised and a murmur of gossip spread through the crowd. For once I didn't loiter and involve myself in the discussions. I slipped out of the room and made my to my office.

The office felt strangely empty. I felt incredibly relieved and celebrated by eating a few Bailey's Truffles. Gay Boss joined me a few minutes later. We sat comfortably in silence. The only sound coming from the rustle of truffle wrappers.

The corporate event went better than planned. The topics for discussion were very interesting and for the first time since I've worked I actually stayed completely focus throughout.

When I arrived back to my office I received a call from Solicitor. He's decided to change the plans of going out for dinner and cook for me instead. Wow this guy really is a charmer! I said I'd meet him at his place at around 8pm tomorrow.

I still don't know what to do about him. I'm not sure if anything he's doing for me is genuine or if he only wants sex. I'm not sure what I want either. Tomorrow will be a good time to talk about it.

I'm not sure whether to wear my black suspender belt with red lacy underwear or go without...

...and it hurt like hell

He called me this morning. I didn't think he would. He asked me go out to dinner with him on Friday. I wonder if we'll make dinner this time or if we'll end up pulling each others clothes off before the starters arrive... Oh happy thought!

I should to talk to him properly though. I know I'm avoiding it but I need ask him about last time.

The last time I waited for him to call was the most frustrating time of my life. I left a message on his voicemail and he didn't return my call. For days I had convinced myself that there had to be a good explanation for it. I constantly checked my phone messages and my email inbox hoping for some kind of response. I never spent more two minutes on the phone with anyone just in case he was trying to call.

It finally hit me that he never intended to see or speak to me again and it hurt like hell. I kept replaying our night together and tried to figure out what I did wrong. Maybe he didn't like my lacy underwear. Maybe I he didn't like my perfume. I finally confided in a friend who told me that some guys just move on after having sex with a girl and that I just had to deal with it. At the time it broke my heart. The only reason that I had done anything with him was because we had a strong connection. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. We spent hours talking and kissing surely it meant something to him didn't it?

I was really young and naive last time. I had no idea how adult relationships worked. I've grown up alot since and formed my own opinions through experience. Although I've agreed to see him on Friday I must remember to tread carefully... Though, its easier said then done with the first guy you fell for!

Today is fairly quiet considering there's quite a big meeting tomorrow. Bimbo and the rest of Admin have the tedious job of calling all attendees and confirming their arrival, printing out booklets, and battling with the caterers. Scruffy Artist and Stoner are just finishing off the visual edits and stills. Old Prick has taken the day off as holiday (I guess he needs to use them up before he gets flung out of the door tomorrow). And Gay Boss is ill again. I'm avoiding Accounts because I really don't want to speak to Preppy.

I think I'll continue to spend the day sitting at my desk pondering....

Red Wine & Sex

I arrived at work around 9:15am. For the first time I was late. I woke up naked with a gorgeous Solicitor in bed next to me. I

So last night went well. It started raining when he picked me up. Instead of driving straight to the firework's display he took my back to his place for a drink. I had imagined that his place would be extremely masculine and contemporary, black leather sofa's glass coffee tables etc, so I was pleasantly surprised. It appears that he has quite an eye for antiques. His home was cosy with big fireplaces, dark wooden floor, big rugs and a grand piano. He had a big beautiful bookcase filled with classic literature, and photographs of family.

We didn't quite make it to the firework's display. After a glass of red wine we kissed. Unlike our previous kiss in the Ladies Toilets it was quite tender and loving. He pulled me onto the rug in front of the fireplace. He slowly undressed me completely before pulling off his own clothes. He has such a beautiful body. So masculine and toned. We spent hours pleasuring each other; making slow sensual love, passionate animal sex, caressing each other with our lips and tongues..

I woke up around 6am still in his arms. It felt right. Scarily right. His back had deep scratch marks from where my fingers had clawed him during one of my orgasms. In fact both of our bodies had been through quite an ordeal. I felt bruised and quite tender in some places, I winced in pain when I first moved.

He drove me home and promised he would call me. If he doesn't call I'll know that he hasn't changed at all. If he does I'll need to ask him about the last time.

CEO is flying in tomorrow from Antigua. He'll probably be with Gay Boss on Thursday when he finally gets rid of Old Prick. If Solicitor calls later maybe we can have hot office sex on Friday...

Fireworks?

This morning was relatively quiet. I went over some case details with Gay Boss . Apparently Old Prick doesn't have any case against us. He has a serious lack of hard evidence. Gay Boss has decided to ask him to clear out his desk on Thursday and tell him to leave the premises. I can't wait for it.

I got a call from the Solicitors Firm around mid-day. I answered the phone as I put a red grape into my mouth, expecting it to be Bimbo with plans for lunch. I almost chocked when I heard his deep husky voice. I swallowed my grape whole and acted as natural as possible. He called to congratulate me on the fact that the case didn't go to court. I felt a slight pang as I realised that I probably wouldn't see him again. I know he's the bastard that broke my heart years ago but the thought of never seeing him or kissing him again... well it sort of made me feel like crying.

An hour later he called back and asked me what I was doing tonight. (Damn! there goes the wave of heat and that ridiculous heartbeat of mine again. I really should get an appointment with a doctor or something) He asked me to go to a firework's display with him.

I can't actually remember agreeing to this. He pretty much told me he'd pick me up at 6pm. I feel so nervous! I wonder if we're going with a group of his friends. Maybe he just wants me to be his friend. The type that you only see with a group of people.

What if we're alone?

I better go down to Admin later and ask Bimbo to make-me-up. Wish me luck...

Suspenders and Stockings

I couldn't sleep last night and I woke up around 4:30am to chose an outfit to wear. It took me around 2 hours to get ready. I settled on my 1940s grey skirt with a black shirt and black heels. I wore my favourite black lace matching underwear with a suspender belt and stockings. I washed my hair and blow dried it straight before deciding to style it with rollers. I painted my nails blood red and applied my make-up carefully to achieve a natural yet sexy-eyed look.

I arrived outside the Solicitors Firm at around 7:30am. Thankfully Gay Boss was already waiting for me in his car. As we walked through the lobby I felt my suspender pop one of the grips on my right stocking. Shit! I tried to act normal as we climbed the stairs to the Solicitors office, but I felt another pop. What the hell was I thinking wearing suspenders?! Gay Boss was explaining something but all I could concentrate on was my underwear. I needed to sort it out before I saw him.

Unfortunately he was standing at the top of the stairs. He shook both of our hands and gestured us into the office. I quickly excused myself and swiftly started walking towards the Ladies. He caught up with me and put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. Damn, why did he have to do that? I suddenly felt a jolt of heat flood through my body.

"The bathroom's out of order."
"That's okay I just need to sort out my suspenders."

Oh my God! Did I just say suspenders? Yes I did. He froze and looked down. the suspender belt wasn't noticeable but he kept staring. I couldn't move or speak. He just kept looking at me. When my legs finally decided to move I went to walk pass him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

He tangled his hands through my hair and pulled my face up to his while he bit my lips, licked them and slipped his tongue between them. God he's a great kisser. I felt myself melting into him. I don't know how but we ended up in the toilets pulling at each others clothes. His hand slid up my skirt and pulled aside my underwear. When he touched me I couldn't stop trembling. I was vaguely aware that I was whimpering but I couldn't help it. I desperately reached for the zip on his trousers. He was so hard. He lifted me onto the ledge near the sink and I wrapped my legs around him.

Logic suddenly kicked in and I pulled away. He stepped back to catch his breath. I stood up and fumbled to fix my suspenders. I was shaking too much to clip them back to my stockings. He knelt down and fixed them for me. This was so embarrassing! When he looked up I had the sudden urge to laugh. He stood up and we both started laughing. We sorted ourselves out and walked back to the office.

I couldn't meet his eyes during the meeting. I knew that if I did I would start laughing again.
When we finally left he shook my hand and kissed my cheek.

I can't stop thinking about him. It was all probably a big mistake but I can't stop smiling.

Dial M For Mistake...

After the strange encounter with my past on Monday I spent the whole day yesterday completely focused on work to occupy my mind. Today I came to work knowing I had absolutely nothing to do. Gay Boss had a meeting with a client in Yorkshire, so its extremely unlikely he'd come in to work at all. Scruffy Artist and Stoner had both taken the day off. They worked all night last night so I suppose it was owed to them. Old Prick had another "dentist" appointment with his solicitor.

I staggered to my office fully armed with magazines wishing that I had left some work to do today. I saw it on my desk as soon as I walked in. A perfect white rose with a small note beside it. The note was unsigned but I knew exactly who it was from. It had the same handwriting as a note I'd received years ago. It simply said "I'm sorry".

In a fit of rage I stormed down to Admin to demand how the rose got into my office. I found Bimbo sitting at her desk on the phone. I waited impatiently for her to finish. She smiled dreamily when I asked her about the rose. She said a really sweet guy came in around 6pm yesterday looking for me. She told him he could leave it on my desk.

He hand delivered it! Oh my God what is he doing?

I called his firm when I got back to my office. He answered in a familiar sexy voice. I snapped and lost my temper. I told him he had no right to come into my office without me being there. I told him that whatever contact the two of us have would be strictly professional and that the rose was completely out of line. He waited for me to finish my rant before calmly apologising. He said that he thought an apology was appropriate to clear the air between us and that he didn't mean to cause distress.

Cause distress?! I'm not distressed! He's definitely not worth distressing about.

I quickly cooled down and tried to sound normal. I apologised for my outburst and told him that I'd had a difficult week and I lost my temper. I thanked him for the gesture. He laughed and said that he remembered I had a fiery temper. I fought the urge to tell him to go fuck himself. I just laughed politely and we said our "take-cares".

I completely screwed up. I left things so perfectly on Monday. Now I've made a complete fool of myself. God he sounded sexy!

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone rang. It was Gay Boss. He's expecting some important letters concerning the legal problem with Old Prick. He wants me to open and read them, photocopy them and file them away in his box of "evidence" in his office. We have an appointment with the solicitors tomorrow so he wants to be prepared.

Damn I forgot I was seeing him tomorrow. I shouldn't have called him. I should have completely ignored the rose thing and act like I'd never seen it. I can't get him out of my head. The asshole! What is wrong with me?

Its okay, I have secret files to keep me occupied for a while. Must concentrate....