I haven't slept properly in a while. I have a presentation on Monday and I've only looked at it once. I can't concentrate. The Pro-Plus is giving me a dull headache.
The sun is shinning brightly today. The sky is a beautiful shade of blue. The air is fresh and cool. Why do I feel so depressed.
Solicitor didn't murder Bradley (although I'm sure he wanted to).
Solicitor is a logical person but passionate in so many ways. He expresses anger and love with intensity. After the incident Solicitor told me that he's never hated anybody as much as he hates Bradley. The very thought of him makes him shake with anger.
When he came back from Bradley's on Wednesday I feared the worst. I honestly believed that Solicitor had beaten him to a pulp. To my surprise (and relief) he hadn't. He couldn't resist one big kick in the balls when he opened the door though. I hope he's still in pain for scaring me the way he did.
Solicitor told him that if the incident went to court he doesn't have a case to defend himself. He'd be looking at jail time. Bradley nodded and told him that he'd plea guilty to all charges anyway. He wouldn't deny anything and would accept the punishment.
I believe him. Solicitor, who seriously hates the guy, believes him.
On his way out Solicitor told me that he pushed Bradley against the wall by his throat and told him that if he came within a mile of me again he wouldn't hesitate to kill him.
I asked Solicitor what he thinks I should do.
Although the relationship between Bradley and I was short lived there were certain elements that lead me to believe that the incident is a solo one. I don't think he has ever done it before and I seriously doubt he'd do it again.
Solicitor knows the details of the history and he agrees with me. After meeting Bradley he's convinced that the attack was meant for me and me alone. He still wants him to pay for it though.
Bradley is not a serial rapist or attacker. Reporting it and taking the incident to court would only serve as punishment for what he did to me. It wouldn't make a difference to other girls if he remained on the streets.
I haven't told Solicitor this because I'm sure he'll arrange some sort of counselling if I did, but I think I'm partly to blame for it. I could have avoided it if I thought things through. I feel guilty.
I don't think jail time would help Bradley. I think he needs counselling. I've decided to go to the police and tell them what happened. I don't want Bradley to go to jail I want him to get psychological help. I'm hoping that the police will help me arrange it.
I hope Solicitor understands when I tell him.