Exhausted and Frustrated

Yesterday afternoon was awful. I couldn't concentrate on anything. Bradley tried calling countless times before I turned my phone off.

Bimbo called and told me that he dropped by and asked to see me. She told him that I wasn't in. I thanked her and told her that if he comes again she should tell him that I've resigned.

Gay Boss came to my office to speak to me before I left to go home. I wasn't listening to anything he was saying. He finally got angry with me. He accused me of not listening to a word that he was saying. Apparently I'm a selfish individual who doesn't give a shit about anyone but myself.

I fought angry tears as I hurried to my car. The car park was eerily empty. It was dark and cold. The lighting was extremely dim. Why had I never noticed that before?

I sudden movement in the shadows made me jump and drop my keys. I clumsily picked them up and got into the car. My heart was beating so fast. I was afraid. I don't know why. So I got a few phone calls from an ex boyfriend. It doesn't mean he's chasing me for Gods sake!

I don't quite remember driving home but before I knew it I was standing in the living room with every light in the house switched on. I decided to occupy myself and make a start on dinner. Solicitor normally gets home an hour or so after I do. It might break the tension between us if I cooked him a nice meal.

I slowly calmed down as I peeled potatoes. I laughed at myself for getting so stressed out. I was just checking the chicken in the oven when the landline rang. I jumped and burnt my hand on the baking tray. I couldn't help but cry as I held my hand beneath a cold tap. I felt exhausted and frustrated.

I was vaguely aware of the phone ringing in the background while I sobbed by the sink.

I'm not sure how long I stood there crying. My hand was numb from the freezing water but I didn't move. That’s how Solicitor found me. He walked into the kitchen and saw the open oven door, the half peeled potatoes and me bawling my eyes out.

He wordlessly walked out of the kitchen. He came back a minute later and led me into the living room. He held my freezing hand and carefully inspected it. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. He was so sweet and gentle.

He'd run me a bath. Nobody has ever run me a bath before.

He cleared up the kitchen while I got in. He'd poured too much bubble bath but it felt perfect. Maybe not perfect. I was slipping around and I couldn't get comfortable. I gave up after five minutes of trying to relax yet keep my head above the water. It did the trick though. I wasn't as frustrated as I had been. I felt safer.

I curled up on the sofa in the big ugly robe that my sister had bought me for Christmas. It felt amazingly warm and comfortable. Solicitor held me and kissed my hair. I love the way he does that.

"I tried to call you but your phone was switched off."

"I turned it off."

Solicitor was silent for a while.

"How many times has he called?"

"I don't know. Too many."

"You have two options. You could go to the police. They'll make you fill out a form. They'll question you for hours and eventually tell you that he hasn't done anything wrong so they can't do anything..."

"Or?"

"Or you can let me deal with it."

I haven't switched my phone on yet. I haven't answered my office phone either. Gay Boss is pissed off with me.

I need to sort myself out. I don't know what option to take.