CEO wants to replace me with a DVD!
Gay Boss came up to my office early this morning with a few printed emails from CEO.
This situation breaks my heart.
This is what he sent when he heard about my meeting with Sanyo. "Breaks my heart"? What the hell is he talking about? It was one mistake. It's not as if I make a habit of screwing up!
I have personally realised a more effective way of presenting to prospective clients. We currently have a fantastic creative department that is not being used to its full advantage. Bellow you will find a schedule for the creation of an audio/ visual presentation on DVD!
He planned out the footage! Every cross fade, every shot, every cut. He wants an audio commentary from an "authoritative male voice" to run over the edit.
This way every presentation will be picture perfect. Anyone can present at any time. It’s just a case of pressing the right button!
I lost it. I actually lost it. I walked around in a rage. Effing and blinding. "Anyone can present". I've done a bloody good job for the last few years! I made one stupid mistake and he wants to replace me with a fucking DVD.
How unprofessional! Imagine walking into a room of directors and flicking on a DVD. Standing back and filling nails while they look at a screen for half an hour. Flicking the screen off and handing them a contract.
"That's it folks. Wanna sign up with us?"
CEO has gone mad!
That’s not the worst of the email. After I ranted for a while I read the rest.
I regret letting a perfectly good employee go. I feel there is a definite difference in the qualities of a male figure in this line of work.
He's talking about Old Prick. Old Prick got sacked because he wasn't performing well. He screwed up countless deals. How can CEO compare my skills with that of an idiot?! What a sexist tosser!
Gay Boss laughed at the email. He said that he had to reply to it but he's completely stuck on what to say.
Here are a few ideas that I came up with:
1) Elise does a bloody good job. She made one mistake!
2) Old Prick was a shit employee. His skills are nowhere near the minimum required.
3) A DVD is completely unprofessional.
4) The creative team are not filmmakers.
5) To hire a camera man and an actor to do a voice over is not free.
6) It will take a minimum of 16 weeks to complete.
7) By the time the footage is complete it will be Out Of Date.
8) CEO, you are a complete asshole. You need to step back into the real world. It's a wonder how you made this company a success. If you started out in today's world you'd be sitting on the side of a street collecting change to feed your fucking crack habit!
I think that’s enough information to aid Gay Boss with his response...