Monday, 11 February 2008

The safest I'd ever been


I did go to the police.

Solicitor picked me up from work on Friday and he drove to the police station. He parked outside and asked me if I wanted to go in. I contemplated for half an hour before we went inside.

What should have been a chat about the incident turned into a gruelling interrogation. I filled out a statement form and answered more questions. I thought I'd just have to relay the incident but I was asked to recall whether he grabbed my left arm or my right arm first. I was asked what side of the car I was pushed against.

I felt like screaming. "I already told you this you stupid pikey bitch!"

Long hours later we got up to leave. The police officer shook our hands.

"We'll be in touch."

That's it? I don't know what I expected her to say but I thought she'd elaborate a little more.

As we drove home I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I did the right thing.

That night I couldn't sleep. I suddenly had an over whelming feeling of regret. I'd possibly ruined Bradley's life. I tossed and turned for hours unable to repress the dull pain in the pit of my stomach.

I was exhausted. It had been days since I had slept. Whenever I managed to nod off I had unbearable nightmares.

I padded to the bathroom in search of some sleeping pills. I was raiding the box of pills when I heard Solicitor. He stood in the doorway wiping the tiredness from his eyes. He slowly regarded the box and looked at me in question.

"Do we have any Nytol?"

He shook his head. He walked in and replaced the box.

"Get dressed. Put something warm on."

Ten minutes later we stepped out of the house into the cold night. Solicitor loaded the car with a thick blanket, extra coats and jumpers and two flasks of hot chocolate.

We drove for hours. He took the M4 out of London towards the west. Past Heathrow. Past Reading. Past Wokingham.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

We turned off at an exit past Swindon. The country lanes were dark and empty. There were no streetlights at all. Solicitor turned off down a dirt road barely wide enough to fit a car. There were thick bushes on either side scraping the windows as we drove through.

We suddenly stopped. Solicitor turned off the engine and the lights from the car.
"Close your eyes."

He helped me out of the car, holding me steady on the jagged road.

"Look up" He whispered.

I opened my eyes and gasped. The sky was filled with million and millions of stars. They were so bright they were like Christmas lights. I stood frozen in shock.

We sat on the blanket on the bonnet of the car smoking, drinking hot chocolate and whispering. It was as if we had discovered an amazing secret. As if we didn't want to ruin the silent beauty with any noise.

I fell asleep in the car on the way home.

I remember falling asleep in the car when I was a young child. I remember being carried into the house by my father. He used to hold me close and kiss my hair. My face buried in his neck. I trusted him completely during those moments. He kept me the safest I had ever been.

Solicitor carried me up the stairs when we got home. He laid me down on the bed and removed my clothes. He tucked me under the thick duvet and slid his warm body beside me. He wrapped me in his powerful arms. I felt his butterfly kisses on my neck before I fell into a blissful deep sleep.

29 comments:

Elise said...

Thank you. All of you. You have no idea how much your advice meant to me.

Blogging is a very strange thing. I wrote about the most intimate things that are so hard to say out loud. It felt so good to do that and it felt even better to have your support.

Lots of love and hugs, Elise xx

The Divine Miss M said...

You have an amazing man there Elise, do NOT let him escape EVER! :)

I'm so glad you reported it and that you have someone so good to you there to support you. You're not ruining Bradley's life, you're saving the emotional well being of other woman out there and being a role model for anyone else reading this who might be feeling the same misplaced guilt that you were feeling.

*big hugs*

We love you :)

KaB said...

Oh dear god...he sounds so dreamy!

There must be something wrong with him, right?!? Like he has *cough* 'small feet'?!?

I'm glad you got your sleep & that most of all, you're feeling content about your decision to take the incident further!

Now go cook some fabulous dinner that'll knock the underpants off of your gorgeous beau!

Hurrah for you!

C.Rag said...

I'm glad you went to the police even though it was a grueling experience. It was the right thing. You are a very lucky person to have such a loving, understanding, and supporting partner.

Malach the Merciless said...

You did the right thing and I am proud of you. By the way, I am not sure you know my personal blog, beyond the Wand of Wonder. I left blogger about a year ago, and my wordpress blog is here.

I did lead a ton of traffic here to read your story as I felt it could help a lot of my regular readers, I hope you don't mind.

hayley-emsley said...

Oh wow, that sounds amazing!! If Phil ever done that for me it would be in his tipper truck amongst the cement and dirt!! haha.

Sounds like he really, really adores you, so much so, he sacrificed his sleep to drive you for hours to make sure that you had a good nights sleep! He is amazing! keep hold, they are hard to find - Trust me!

H x

Grilled Pizza said...

So proud of you!
Just remember if that security guard hadnt seen what was going on it could've been your life ruined!
Forget Bradley, you may have just saved him from taking it too far another time and ending up in Jail so you may have saved rather than ruined his life!
Got to say am loving hearing what a great man you got there
GP xx

Bridget said...

Good Girl for reporting him hun.

I think I can return the complement on s4 to Solicitor. He sounds amazing.

Now concentrate on forgetting the nightmare.

Kitty said...

"That night I couldn't sleep. I suddenly had an over whelming feeling of regret. I'd possibly ruined Bradley's life."

I wonder if Bradley has had trouble sleeping in case he'd possibly ruined your life by attacking you in a car park and attempting to rape you? My hunch is probably not.

I'm sure you did the right thing hun - hang on in there. x

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

What a guy! It feels nice to feel safe in the arms of someone you love :) I'm also glad you reported Bradley to the police.

astrogalaxy said...

Elise, you did the right thing.
So do relax now and sleep well.
Take good care of your health.
BTW, I've added your blog link in my site.
Good Day!

Trée said...

Elise, the only person who may have ruined Bradley's life is Bradley. We are all 100% responsible for our own actions. He did what he did. And you did the right thing by filing a report.

A million stars in a dark sky. I miss that. I miss the perspective it brings. I miss the peace it speaks. I miss the cool fresh air and I miss having someone beside me to appreciated it. As always, another wonderfully written post. :-)

Casdok said...

Well done, it was the roght thing to do.
And yes you can steel my food!!

Juliana RW said...

I don't visit ur blog couple days and i miss something. Btw..what ever you through in your live at the moment glas that you have someone to support you, Elise.

Slyde said...

you ABSOULELY did the right thing...

im proud of ya...

B.E. Earl said...

Great job by Solicitor. He's a keeper.

And as for: "That night I couldn't sleep. I suddenly had an over whelming feeling of regret. I'd possibly ruined Bradley's life."???

Two words: Fuck. Him.

Poetikat said...

Sounds divine, but when you opened your eyes I was waiting for you to behold the sweet little cottage in the country owned by Solicitor - where you could both escape for a few weeks until all this horror died down.
Oh well. I'm just glad you're safe.
Kat

lotus07 said...

Now that is a man that knows how to cure insomnia.....Kudos

Autumn Storm said...

I'm glad you have someone to watch the stars with in the midst of all that you have been through. Deeply touched by your story and for what it is worth, you did the right thing. As Trée said we are responsible for our own actions and isolated or not, Bradley needs to feel the consequences of his. Wishing you peace and happiness.

taxitalk said...

That girl left me a comment,check it out, she had it bad, I listened to her story, and I've heard many more, always go to the cops, animals like that don't deserve freedom until someone has taken it from them the way he thought he could take iy from you, this topic has been coming up lots in the taxi, it's never nice, because the predator almost always gets away, and the gray gets darker and no one seems to care, until it seems that we are in the dark

Clueless Cat said...

Aw Elise, what a lovely man!! I'm so happy for you that you have someone like that to take care of you and be there when you need him. And btw, you def did the right thing about going to the police, and you didn't ruin Bradley's life, he did. He should have thought about that before he attacked you.

xoxo!!

Michelle Hix said...

Okay, first of all, my husband would have probably just left my ass sleeping in the car. You did the right thing Elise. I hope Bradley gets some help.

Cocaine Princess said...

Thank God you went to the police!!!
I was waiting all weekend for Monday to come so I could read your post. Your guy sounds so wonderful, loving, compassionate and so sweet. How lucky you are and he too is lucky. I hope Bradley gets his ass locked up and gets the hell beaten out of him. He deserves no compassion, just a lifetime of hell for what he did to you!
Please stay safe.
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

lewisham kate said...

Elise im so glad its working out for you and oh my god how romantic was the stars ....where did you find solicitor? hee hee.

Ruby said...

yay for elise! i'm so glad you went to the cops hun! it's so much better this way. If it ruins his life, so be it! he tried to ruin yours.

Solicitor sounds divine! hold on tight!

Pixie said...

Elise my sweet how is he going to beat that one??

Pix x

sweets said...

excellent choices... both with the police and with solicitor ;)

jennifer said...

This is SO nice. I don't want to spoil the moment. Just So very nice. Great writing - Jennifer

angel said...

wow... he's amazing!
i am so glad you're feeling better and that you could finally get some sleep!