Shoebox of Tampons

I took Friday off from work. Gay Boss thought it would be good to take a long weekend off so I could "maintain my mental health". I'm not crazy. I'm just a little jumpy. Its understandable with all the stress that I've been through recently.

Anyway, I took this opportunity to move the bulk of my things to Solicitors place. Yes, he asked me to move in with him! I know its soon. Its only been two months but it makes sense. I'm always staying at his place, I may as well move in. Financially it will save a lot of money. I can let out my place and the rent will cover mortgage payments. Solicitor has already paid off his mortgage so all I'll really have to do is help out with bills.

Everything was going so well. We cooked a lovely meal together on Friday to celebrate. We finished a bottle of wine and half a bottle of Jack Daniels and spent the night talking about everything. We decided to move the furniture around and we talked about redecorating the bedroom. I love the bedroom just as it is. The only thing I would change is the carpet. A wooden floor with a nice rug would look so much nicer.

On Saturday I started to freak out. Not about commitment but about my tampons. I didn't know where to unpack them. I couldn't put them in the bathroom cabinet next to his shaving foam could I? I couldn't put them in my underwear draw since it was was filled to the brim. (I recently bought lots of sexy underwear.)

As I looked through my toiletry box I started freaking out a little more. Body Shop Warming Face Mask. How the hell was I going to apply it without Solicitor seeing? He's not stupid. I'm sure he knows that I have a grooming ritual. But he's not supposed to see it! Even if its not on my face I don't want him to find face mask, tampons, epilator, hot hair oil just lying around the house. I was hoping to keep up the charade of "I look naturally gorgeous".

I'm not one of those women that wakes up and applies make up straight away. I've spent days walking around Solicitors place in joggers without make-up and without brushing my hair and I know I don't look bad. Its the under-cover grooming that makes the difference; the hot oil that I apply to my hair once a week that keeps it so thick and silky so I don't have to blow dry or straighten it, the warming face mask keeps my face blemish free so I don't have to wear make-up, the epilating that keeps my legs smooth and hair free!

I panicked and called the Queen of Beauty.

"(Bimbo) I have a slight problem. What am I going to do about grooming and where should I put all of my tampons?!"

"Its okay! Use shoe boxes. Shove everything in shoeboxes and keep them with your shoes. He'll never look inside! Stay in the bathroom and turn the shower on. Do everything you need to do in the bathroom. Keep the door locked!"

Wow. It sounded like a rescue mission! Bimbo has been with Pierce for years. She moved in with him when she found out she was pregnant. I can't believe she keeps up the "air of mystique" even with morning sickness and raging hormones. On the phone she told me she swears by shoeboxes and loud showers.

I carefully arranged the shoeboxes full of toiletries inside the wardrobe. I placed the shoes on top of them to make them look inconspicuous. No. It looked wrong. I took the shoes off. Much better.

This morning, over coffee and pop tarts, Solicitor asked me if I'd unpacked the bare essentials.

"Of course! Why?"

"Well you've still got shoeboxes full of girly stuff. You might find it easier if you unpacked them in the bathroom."

Maybe I was a little over dramatic. So what if he's seen my box of tampons. He's not stupid. He knows about "the time of the month". And he probably won't inspect the tubes and bottles of toiletries to a great degree.

There's no way I'm going to walk around with goo on my face though! There are some things that I will lock myself in the bathroom and turn the shower on for!