"...I'm Gay"

Lunch with Gay Boss yesterday was quite eventful.

He took me to a fancy Italian restaurant a few miles away from work. I felt so guilty. I jumped a mile when the waiter handed us menus. I couldn't even read the menu properly. I stared at it for ages thinking about Stoner sneaking around Gay Boss's office.

"Okay Elise, what's going on?" Gay Boss sounded almost like a father. He poured me a glass of wine and squeezed my hand. "Are you...ill?"

Ill? What a fantastic excuse for strange behaviour! Yes, I'm ill. I have an incurable disease that causes me to act strange and jumpy all the time. Its a nervous disorder called...um... nervousakiller...osis... No that sounds fake. Killernervousis...?

I thought about lying but Gay Boss looked so concerned I decided to trust him and tell him everything.

"(Gay Boss) we've been friends for a long time. Seen each other through a lot, right?" I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand for reassurance. He cut in and sighed.

"Elise... I have to tell you something..."

Holy Shit! He did have something to do with it!

"...I'm Gay."

Okay. Um... where the hell is this going?

"If I could choose any woman to be with. If I were straight. I would be with you. But the point is... I don't like women... and as much as I think we're close it could never work."

What the fuck! I really should have cut in but I let him carry on...

"You've got a good thing going with (Solicitor). I think you should work on that."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I really had to stop him there. I was embarrassed for the guy. "You're so bloody full of yourself! You think I fancy you?"

"...Well.."

"I know you're Gay! Why else would I laugh my head off when (Old Prick) accused us of having an affair?"

"You know? Shit! Is it obvious?"

"Not really. I think I'm the only one that knows." There's no point in telling him Scruffy Artist and Stoner know too. "I'm very intuitive..." I found the Gaydar web-page in your Internet history.

We had a little laugh. He looked relieved that he could be himself around me. I wasn't lying when I said it wasn't obvious. He doesn't look or act gay at all.

When the main course arrived I told him everything. I told him that somebody changed the Master Contract and I found errors in it that could potentially ruin the company. Gay Boss was shocked and angry. "I didn't fight my way to the fucking top just so some wanker can fuck everything up!" Whenever Gay Boss gets genuinely stressed he swears a lot more. He got to the point where every other work was "fuck".

I also told him the CEO wanted me to keep it quiet, even from him. Gay Boss wasn't happy with that. He was pissed off that nobody had faith him him. I agreed with him before taking a quick loo break to phone Stoner. I told him to get out of Gay Boss's office and leaved everything exactly as it was. What the hell was I thinking, accusing Gay Boss of all sorts of crap?!

By the time I'd got back Gay Boss had decided that we have to keep everything to ourselves. CEO must be having the company investigated privately. If we get involved then it may look like we're the bad guys. He has a point. I guess Solicitor was right. I shouldn't get involved. I should just go to work and do my job.

Its quite an exciting thought though isn't it? There might be a spy working for the company at the moment. Someone pretending to be a cleaner or a part-time worker. I need to find out who. Maybe I could help. Be an undercover agent for a while. With a gun and one of those miniature video cameras disguised as a necklace....