Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Investigate Myself

I spent most of the day with Stoner yesterday. We locked ourselves in my office. (People must think we're having a sordid office affair!) I told him everything; the contracts with errors, hiring Solicitor, the phone call with CEO, keeping everything a secret. Stoner came up with the best solution to my problems... Investigate myself!

I love Stoner. He's the only person who would ever come up with something so exciting.

We thought of two possible suspects:

Gay Boss:- We couldn't actually think of a valid motive. He's a suspect because CEO told me to keep the details of the situation away from him. Gay Boss has access to the contracts at all times. It wouldn't be difficult for him to change anything if he wanted to.

Old Prick:- Revenge. Old Prick found it difficult to accept that he was "invited to leave". Initiating a law suite against Gay Boss a few months ago demonstrates his hatred for the company. He had access to the contracts at all times.

This is the plan so far:

Gay Boss:- The only way to know whether he's a friend or foe is to tail him. I've agreed to have lunch with him today to catch up on the last month and a half. We're going to an Italian restaurant a few miles away. (Gay Boss insisted on taking me somewhere nice to cheer me up.) Mean while Stoner is going to sneak into Gay Boss's office and look for anything suspicious. He has all the computer passwords etc.

I feel really guilty about doing this but I need as much information as I can get before talking to him. The last thing I want to do is screw up and tell him everything if he's got bad intentions.

I hope Stoner doesn't find anything. I really like Gay Boss. How many other bosses take employees out to nice restaurants to cheer them up? He's been really thoughtful the last couple of days. He thinks I'm having a real personal crisis. Which to a certain extent I am...

Old Prick:- This is going to be more difficult. The only thing we can do at work is ransack his computer and find information on what documents were opened and when. We have his home address but I have a feeling breaking and entering is a crime.

If we can't find anything on Gay Boss we'll think of a decent plan to investigate Old Prick.

The loose ends:- Solicitor knows everything. He's slightly sceptical about our plan. (By 'slightly' I mean he stalked up and down the living room telling me I've completely lost my mind and that I should just stay out of it before I get into trouble. I think the term "You are crazy Elise!" was said quite a few times. He looks so sexy when he's angry!)

Solicitor has sent the invoice directly to CEO so that Gay Boss doesn't find out that I hired a lawyer. CEO couldn't believe "how clever" I was to have taken care of that hiccup. Honestly, how stupid does he think I am?


The Divine Miss M said...

I'm in agreement with Solicitor. You're completely crazy and shouldn't be snooping around in your bosses things - that would be enough reason for you and Stoner to get fired.

Just deal with it being a secret and get on with your work instead of involving Stoner. (Considering that you weren't supposed to be telling anyone you're doing a really good job at that!)

Dyimz said...

Thanks for putting a comment on my blog. I just want to wish you good luck to your ventures. =]

Grilled Pizza said...

Have to say Solicitor has a point, while it makes for a great read from this end wouldnt want you to get in trouble and/or lose your job!
Keep me posted though lol

Clueless Cat said...

How exciting!! Good luck with everything and I hope you solve it this lil mystery...!

Pixie said...

The Old Prick isn't Gay is he? You are not in the middle of an illicit affair are you with Gay Boss and Mr Prick?

And is Stoner really as gorgeous as he sounds

Answers on a postcard please x


hayley-emsley said...


What an adventure, i wish i had something exciting like that going on for me. After all this investigation and finally finding out who actually "dunit" you may end up with a promotion! haha. Although i think that actually might happen as the simplist things you have done and told him about, he has been really impressed with (the invoice) so i think it will knock his socks off if you catch "whodunnit"!!

Go inspector Elise!!

Hayley x

Kitty said...

Can't you just ask CEO WHY he doesn't want you to tell Gay Boss? x

La Gringa said...

Intriguing! I can't wait to see what happens next!

Ruby said...

Somehow I think your dear Solicitor might be right. It is the less adventurous route...but you certainly won't get fired this way!

Think of how betrayed gay boss will feel if he's innocent and he found out that you had stoner going through his office?

You might lose your job and a friendship

Bridget said...

Elise, be very, very careful. That is all I have to say.

Michelle Hix said...

Oh my! Too funny. Stoner is really coming through for you! Chew slowly...

B.E. Earl said...

I can't wait for tomorrow's installment!!!

(I'm a bit of a loser, I guess.)

Cocaine Princess said...

You have the best names for your characters. I always try to create a mental image of what each person looks like, especially Gay Boss and Bimbo.

Thanks for your comment, I'm very lucky that Lawyer-Guy didn't try anything. V's daddy is like my guardian angel. I'm guessing the only reason he didn't have any pics of his wife is probably because he wants to perhaps give the illusion that he's separated.

Stayed tuned for more because the story is not over yet.

Cocaine Princess

Kathleen Mortensen said...

Enjoy your lunch with Gay Boss. It may be your last if it turns out he's the one. Otherwise, if it's CEO, then maybe Gay Boss will take over the company when GB is CEO is arrested for white collar crime! Then, since you and GB are so palsy, you can become his executive assistant with all the perks that means.
Never mind Solicitor's advice, but keep him keen so he can bail you out if you get caught. Ha ha!

Malach the Merciless said...

I need a PI, your hire out?

Getty72 said...

Elise, if ever you fancy a game of cluedo or have a "Murder Mystery" Dinner Party - be sure to give me a call! You have such a thrilling and investigative mind... and you manage to turn it into words so perfectly.

I can't wait to find out what happens next. Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

~~I think you may be on a bad road.
Be careful, please.

(Jeepers! Where's Nancy Drew when ya need 'er???! ~~spank*!)