Good! Now do it a hundred times.

Yesterday I thought it was time that I joined a new gym close to my new home. I googled local gyms and sports centres and I found a place called "Panther". Membership is cheap and they offer personal training specialising in kick-boxing. I decided to call and book in an induction and a training session. They booked me in for 6pm. My trainer's name is Ayudeji Jiddy.

Panther is situated near an industrial estate down a quiet road. I walked up and down the road six times before I spotted the tattered sign above the door of a small building. No wonder membership is cheap!

The inside of the building reminded me of the gym in Rocky. There was a boxing ring centred in the middle of the large hall with punch bags on the sidelines. The CV machines and weights were in an adjoining room. Unlike most gyms that are normally full of fat people trying to get healthy or sports people that are maintaining a toned frame, Panther was full of men with bulging muscles.

Shit! I should have just joined the Fitness First near Solicitor's work place. We could have trained together. Ran side by side on treadmills.

Ayudeji Jiddy (who insisted I called him Jiddy) has a strong African accent and looks a little like 50 Cent but with crooked teeth. He quickly ran through the motions of showing me how each machine worked before taking my to my assigned punch bag in the far corner of the big hall. He threw questions at me in a loud booming voice as he filled out official forms.

"What are you training for?"

This felt like an interview! A very scary interview.

"I want to get healthy."

Jiddy put down the form and studied me.

"You're not training as a professional?"

A professional? Is that what all these people are here for?

"Um... no. Is that a problem?"

"Eh! I'm glad! Your too soft!"

We began with an intense warm-up on the exercise bike. He increased the setting every five minutes. After half an hour my legs were pounding and I was sweating like mad. I was on the highest setting and I could barely push the pedal. I wanted to stop but Jiddy wouldn't allow it. He encouraged me to go on.

(By encouraged, I mean he shouted at me in his intimidating voice.)

After the 45min session on the bike he took me back to my punch bag and showed me how to punch correctly. He went through the motion slowly until I had perfected it.

"Good! I think you've got it... Now do it a hundred times."

After that he showed me a method of kicking. When I'd perfected it he said,

"Good! Now do it a hundred times."

Another method....

"Good! Now do it a hundred times."

By the end of the two and a half hour session I felt like I was dying. I was soaked with sweat and my muscles were killing me. I was desperate for a long hot shower. Jiddy has control issues. I'm not training for the Olympics I just want to get healthy.

My muscles are killing me. This morning I couldn't move. It hurts to pick things up. My upper arms can't take the strain. Walking is a challenge. This isn't right. I've had personal trainers before and none of them have pushed me this far on a first session.

I'm joining Fitness First.