Wednesday, 16 April 2008

I miss you

I spoke to an old friend last night. We met years ago when I was travelling abroad. He accidently spilt his drink all over my top. He apologised and bought me a few shots of tequilla. We knocked them back and started talking. About everything and anything. And we've been in contact since.

"Elise, I'm coming to London."

"Oh my God! When?"

"In a few weeks."

"We have to meet up!"

"I can't."

"Not even for coffee?"

"Babe... I can't. I wish I could but.... I just can't"

Silence

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"I don't. Tell me why."

"Elise, you know why. Don't make me say it."

Silence

"Is Tina coming?"

"No."

Silence

"Did she like the ring?"

"Yes. She loved it."

"I'm happy for you."

"I know you are."

Silence

"So you've moved in with your new man huh? Cat and all?"

"Yeah. You should come and meet him."

"You love him?"

"Yes."

Silence

"And you love Tina."

"Yes. I do. Very much."

Silence

"Elise?"

"Yes?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"You tell me first."

"What am I supposed to tell you?"

"What you know you know."

"No."

"Then I won't tell you."

Silence

"So, you're definitely not going to call me and meet up with me?"

"No."

"Another time and another place...."

"Another lifetime..."

silence

"I miss you."

"Me too."

silence

36 comments:

The Divine Miss M said...

I've had conversations like that before.

They suck.

Some people will always be friends with you even if you don't get to see them.

bRaT said...

Ah, fuck... I guess, at least... I dunno.. the both of you are happy with what you have... and you'll always have that... really.. no words of consolation...

Polgara said...

I have so been there, it's so.....horrid!
Pol x

MidniteGem said...

Definitely been in that situation before...as well as the ex that cant talk to me cause his new gf says so. Or the other ex that only talks to me when he has been fighting with his gf...what is it with men ?

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

Hmmm.. that was an awkward conversation.

Kitty said...

So why call and let you know he was coming to London? Just in case you said you know what you know and that you felt the same?

Men?! x

Elise said...

I feel strange. When we were talking I just needed him to hug me. I flet like crying.

What do you call that? Love? It's not the same as the way I feel about Solicitor but its not the way I feel about Stoner.

How can I explain it? I don't know how.

C.Rag said...

It's the feeling of what might be.

lotus07 said...

I don't have phone calls like this.....I wish I did.

Melain said...

How awkward! I admire him being up front about it. It would have been tempting to keep you in his life, if only at arms length. He did the right thing. The harder thing I think.

Trée said...

Sigh inducing dialogue. Wonderfully told.

Slyde said...

ive been in that same boat. it sucks, i know.

but in the end, you are probably on the better road to just not meet up...

jeff said...

Man, I felt the tension just reading the conversation. Like you both had a million things to say all at once but knew you couldn't say it.

Poetikat said...

I hope you're going to tell us more about him than what you've given us. How long were you together? What happened between you? Why is he coming to London? Work with me here, Elise. I need more answers.

Kat

Malach the Merciless said...

This would make a nice poem, that is your homework.

twentysomethingandclueless said...

sigh. what if, right?

Anyway - i gave you a blog of distinction award, check it out here:

http://tinyurl.com/4fww2b

:) yay!

BBwillToLive said...

What a conversation!
Another, brilliant slice of life,
Elise. I don't know what else to say..

...(wouldn't it be interesting if you ran into him while he was in town?..umm, maybe, not.)
**
Oh, I haven't forgotten:
April, aye?

"click"
x,Will~~(wink*)

astrogalaxy said...

I miss someone so badly too, I know how you feel!!!

Elise said...

Thank you Will! You remembered. Love you xx

KaB said...

Oi vey!

I say knock a few more tequilas back & get on with it!

sweets said...

wow that is beautiful in a strange way, and sad...

happy snapper said...

Aai...I understand Elise...that sucks big time. Definately felt the tension in the silences.
Maybe, in a way, it might be better that the two of you still have your memories of one another as good ones, and not some complicated mess that it could've turned out to be? I dunno. It's a toughy.

Pope Benedict XVI said...

The two of your should go to Church yes, yes, and forgive!

B.E. Earl said...

That was a very nice little "dance around the issue" conversation.

Had 'em.

Daisy said...

all I can say is... sigh.

at least you know where things stand. sort of.

Bridget said...

Bitch!

That is a horrid conversation

roentarre said...

An interesting style you have written here. De Ja Vu kind of feeling. It is all over again.

Are you happy with the conversation with him or you are just thinking this is kind of interesting?

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Some friends are more than just friends. You can't share them.

Michelle Hix said...

Wait...everyone's saying "been there"...been where? I'm lost! Call back and tell me what you know you know!

Chickie said...

Knowing what could have been really sucks sometimes.

Cocaine Princess said...

It was an awkward kind of conversation indeed. I had a similar type of feeling when I was seated beside whose-name-shall-not-be-mentioned during Easter dinner.
XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Pixie said...

Will you be able to resist Elise???

hayley-emsley said...

Blimey, you kept us hanging then!

taxitalk said...

i never had the conversation, I guess my women is the only one for me

taxitalk said...

how do you get all the comments, I'm jealous

taxitalk said...

and now you have three more, rock on
is this other taquilla guy as perfect as solicitor, would solicitor have spilled that drink on you, i bet not, be careful and make sure you get the most out of life. Is the other dude rich and looking for a wife or a good time hmmmmm there are so many things that we need to know, he must be attractive