Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Managed out

There are two main rival companies.

Rival No. 1 offered to interview me after seeing my CV posted on monster. We have a strange relationship with Rival No. 1. Gay Boss originally worked for them years ago until he was offered a job here. My predecessor switched companies and now works for them. It happens every so often. Their company values are similar to ours and although we are rivals we work well side by side.

According to the credit card transaction report CEO was having a secret meeting with Rival No. 2. The cafe listed on the report is based within their offices, I recognised the name straight away. Rival No. 2 are bullies. They prioritise their own needs above those of their clients. We have had many clients that previously had dealings with them and we have heard shocking stories of court cases and scandals.

Yesterday I told Gay Boss what I know.

I was worried about CEO's meeting. It may have been nothing but there may be a possibility that CEO wants to sell up or merge with Rival No. 2.

"I know."

"You know?! What do you mean?"

"I tracked his credit card transactions too."

Oh my God! We are definitely on some kind of a wavelength.

Gay Boss isn't sure of what is going on. He doesn't think CEO himself knows what he wants to do. He was too pissed off about other things to go into too much detail on theories. He dropped a thick stack on papers on my desk. They were all emails sent to him in the last week.

"Look at the amount of crap he wants me to do. He's doing this on purpose. Any other person doing this job would have walked by now."

I flicked through them. It was complete madness! Every email had a new task or a new request on it.

Can you please send me a full report on InBev from 1990 - 1997. I need this by the end of the week.

He wants data from the archive?! That's going to take hours to find let alone write a report on.

I need the figures for all of our clients dating back to when they signed up. I want quarterly figures together with graphs showing the increase and decrease. I also want a full report on each quarter.

The emails went on and on. Each request was a few days work.

CEO is still adamant on the dvd idea. He wants to create a box set of six. Each disk needs to tell a little more about our company. A "collect all six" series. What a complete fool!

He must have a mental problem. Why else would he do this?

Gay Boss was in a bad way yesterday. The day before he had a surprise visit from Wanker. Wanker is CEO's nephew. The company is his inheritance, despite the fact that Wanker has never worked a day in his life.

Wanker arrived and summoned a meeting with Gay Boss in the boardroom. He pleasantly sparked up conversation about the weather. Gay Boss is not one to waste time.

"Let's skip the pleasantries. CEO sent you. Why?"

Wanker never knows how to speak to Gay Boss. I think he's a little afraid of his bluntness. Gay Boss ate him alive.

"You're here to check things out. I know, because you'd never step foot in this place unless CEO specifically told you to. Check everything. I'm an open book. Go ahead."

Wanker opened a notebook and began his series of complaints. Gay Boss threw every statement back.

"You don't put in enough hours."

"No? I respond to emails from CEO at 1am on a Friday night. I respond to phone calls. I'm the first one in this building every morning and the last one out. I have records of everything. The times that I swiped in and the times that I swiped out. My phone calls are all recorded, as are my emails."

Wanker was surprised by the response. I don't know why. If you're going to throw accusations at someone they will fight back.

"You know there's a law against too many hours don't you? If I were to add everything up how do you think the figure would look?"

Next Statement.

"You have had extra long holidays. This has got to stop."

"I have the same amount of days off as my employees. I work the whole year with no break and I take them all at once. There’s no law against it. It's my holiday and as long as it doesn't affect my work I will take them as and when I choose."

Next Statement.

"You've hired incapable staff. It's your job to dismiss them if they're not performing."

"Who would you be referring to?"

Wanker had no idea. He flicked through his notebook looking for the answer knowing fully that he had none.

"I tell you what. Why don't you go and do some homework. Go and do a full report on each employee that I have hired. Make sure you include everything they've done to keep this company afloat. If you find any fault with them let me know."

Wanker didn't know what to say. He laughed off the whole matter and offered to buy Gay Boss lunch. Gay Boss refused.

"I don't have time for lunch. Apparently I'm not putting in the hours and I'm taking too much holiday. I should really use the time to manage my incompetent staff."

I think CEO is trying to get rid of me. Gay Boss thinks he's trying to get rid of him.

We did something we don't usually do. Gay Boss and I sipped neat Jack Daniels while we discussed the possibilities. I've never had a drink at work before, but yesterday I think we both needed it. I told him about my interview call from Rival no. 1. He looked at me sadly.

"Elise go for the interview. If you get it, I think you should take the job."


I felt like crying. I love this company. I've mad good friends like Bimbo and Stoner. I've got a great relationship with my boss. How many other people can say that they've investigated people with their boss? Or had a glass of neat whiskey with their boss? He has a shocking amount of trust for me. I don't want to loose that.

23 comments:

roentarre said...

It seems that you have a dilemma there. Sometimes it is necessary to move on since your friends and bosses could move on themselves when they seize a good opportunity to succeed.

Sometimes people make sacrifices in exchange of favour in return from others. But dissapointment often is the end result.

If they are your true friends, they will feel happy for you.

After all, once you make the decisions, there shall be no regret. Whatever decision you make shall be the best decision at the time :)

Pixie said...

Elise you have to step out of your comfort zone and move onwards and upwards my sweet. Go for the interview -

Grilled Pizza said...

Such a shame to lose what you have but better to lose it voluntarily than either have it forced upon you or for it to become something you hate.
It will be easier to keepthose friendships if you move on now
GP x

Elise said...

I know I have to go... It's just so sad!

Gay Boss took a huge chance when he gave me the job. It was advertised for someone with at least 10 years experience. I barely had 1! He saw something when nobody else did.

A part of me hopes that the problems will work out. It's not just the friendships I've made, I know I'll keep all of them, I actually love the job and I love the company. xx

sweets said...

i hate changing jobs, especially for reasons like yours... so i totally get where you're coming from...good luck!

Ruby said...

shame hun! thats awfull!
good luck, i'm sure everything will work out the way it's supposed to

hayley-emsley said...

Hi Elise, looks like CEO is moving on and nephew is moving in! Sounds like i would rather get out of there before the sh*t hits the fan and you end up hating the place, leave with good memories and take gay boss with ya!

H x

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

That really blows! I wonder what is going on with CEO? I think you should take GB's advice about the interview. Sometimes it is best to leave before the shit hits the fan.

:)

Poetikat said...

Wanker!!! I love it!
Just watch out that Gay Boss doesn't report on you for drinking on the job just to make himself look better.
You need to talk to Stoner, I think.
Kat

Christopher Gehler said...

Uhm... Elise... You need to do a hostile take over of your own company. Show CEO and his Wanker that you and Gay Boss take shit from no one.

Hell, I bet the 4 banditos (Bimbo, Stoner, Gay Boss, and you) do more work than anyone else in the company.

Thus, I propose you get rid of CEO and as for wanker, he's just a foolish spoiled bastard. He can be bought out.

That's my opinion, give it a go.

Elise said...

Yeah I spoke to Stoner today. He took a holiday and I'm so glad he's back!

Slyde said...

well, i'd definitly have to agree that it sounds like its time for you to hit the road with your current job. I think you are doing everything you need to be doing...

B.E. Earl said...

Don't ya love it when someone makes false accusations that are quickly and harshly rebutted? Well done, Gay Boss!

And take his advice. Move on while you have the chance.

Kitty said...

My advice would be to go for the interview, see how the place 'feels'. If it feels right, and they offer it, do it. If it doesn't, don't do it. Something else will come along. x

Mike said...

Leave, take gay boss, bimbo and stoner with you.

CEO and Wanker can keep the company afloat, right?

Malach the Merciless said...

Unfortunately the signs are all there

Michelle Hix said...

You've got quite the dilema on your hands. More than anything, you should keep your options open. And use up your vacation hours!

Melain said...

Why is it that successful family businesses always seem to go corrupt?! My Jonathan used to work for a company that sounds JUST like this. Get out now. Even if you could buy yourself some time, eventually you'll end up working for Wanker!!! I think we can all see how well THAT would work out!

KaB said...

Good grief but that wanker really is a wanker! I love the way Gay Boss handled it...priceless!

As for work...things happen for a reason...this is good :)

lotus07 said...

I love the names you give your co-workers, it is almost like working there.

This whole scenario, going back three posts, is pretty typical of an office in turmoil. It is a standard thing. Organizations go through periodic upheaval and always emerge a different place to work when it is over.

Our jobs like our lives are never static. Change needs to be embraced. None of us keep the same lover, the same car, the same house or the same job forever. There are times when we just have to move on. It is normal to fear it, but we need to learn to embrace it and understand that change is what makes us grow. Staying in the same place just gets old and dusty.

Cocaine Princess said...

I agree- CEO must have a mental problem. Any company/firm would be lucky to have someone like you working for them.

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

BBwillToLive said...

Things are going to work out, Elise.
I have faith in these things..

..Go to the interview. Time to move up.
(For some reason, I'm seeing Mary Tyler Moore, tossing her hat in the air.."Who can turn the world on with a smile...You're gonna make it after all":)

~x`Will

Linda and her Surroundings said...

I love the names of everyone. I truly can imagine what they are like. It is hard not to stereotype, but if the name fits....

Tough time for you. Awful when things that seem fine go all pear shaped without much warning.