Friday, 14 March 2008

The Benefits of Suicide

I'm thinking of writing a book:

"The Benefits of Suicide"

Working today is like a slow painful death. I wish I topped myself off before hand so I wouldn't have to go through this hell.

Gay Boss and I spent our 5 minute lunch break planning to do it together. He opted to hang himself. I'll just throw myself out of the window.

15 comments:

Grilled Pizza said...

I'm surprised at you Elise, surely you could have come up with something at little less painful!
I understand if you inject yourself with air it travels straight to your brain for an instantaneous death.
Can you tell i'm having a similiar day? Roll on hometime....
GP x

The Divine Miss M said...

I wouldn't do that ... you never know if you'll survive it and be consined to a wheelchair or paralysed for the rest of your life.

I'd go with carbon monoxide in the car.

Old school but works.

emziz said...

Please STOP!
I lost my Dad to suicide, and ive lived with hurt, guilt, questions, hatred, depression, and much more, wondering why and how could he leave his little girl (i was 9 at the time)
For me my oppinion is theres gotta be another way , anything other than taking ur own life.
Life is a gift, cherish it, and live every moment like its ur last

Slyde said...

No matter how bad things have gotten in times of my life, i have never considered even remotely the thought of suicide.... I'm not sure if that makes me very brave, or very naive...

The Divine Miss M said...

I've never considered suicide as a solution to anything. I would never consider sucide as a solution to anything.

I am sure that Elise and her boss were just having a dry discussion about a way out of work.

@emziz - I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. We weren't really being serious - just silly dry humour. Sorry to upset you.

@slyde - I think it makes you brave. Personally I think suicide is the cowards way out of anything.

No_LoVe_OnLy_LuSt said...

hi elise i know what is going on in your head, coz i have been passed from simmiler situation, even i was think similer, i have spend three years in such sitiuation and its was unbearable for me any more so i thought of suiside, but then as i am a hindu, indian i went to temple so that i can request god to forgive me for doing suiside, but there i saw bhagwad gita, in that book lord krishna has told what ever is going on and what ever is gonna happen everything is planned by me, days might be bad but keep faith on me what ever i am gonna do its better for u, so i felt a lots confident and i came out of temple, thinking what should i do now, so i was thinking and while thinking i got down from steps, suddenly my legs slept and i rolled down from some steps and i got a big wound in my leg, again i said to god that is it again for better of me,wasnt it enought that u gave me more pain, and i tried to walk and clean my leg so that i can apply some medicine, suddenly a thought came to my mind that is wound is creating pain 4 me so for this little wound should i cut off my whole leg, i got the answer no, i must try to heal that wound or kill that wound not my leg, so i did the same i made a big plan and the person who used to creat problems to me i beat him, i kicked him, and i removed all my flrustaion on him, after that day i started to create better plans and i started making his life hell, that waht i would suggest u, u r not so cheap that any 1 will come and harm u, i would suggest u to read bhagwad gita, its having lots of answers of such question which u cant easily get answer of, buddy u r a big lady lots of guys must be loving u who know what ahead something better must be there for u so god must be testing u wheather u r cabable of his gift or not, suiside is not a sollution even a begger doesnt commit a suiside al thought he doesnt know wil he get food tommorow or not, if all people started doind suiside then there wont be any 1 in this world coz every1 is having some peoblem and ever1 thinks my problem is bigger then urs, so compare ur sorrows with other and dont live for ur self try to leave for others, chat with me, i can help u

The Divine Miss M said...

Wow.

Ye.

Alrighty.

hayley-emsley said...

I gotta say, i'm kinda disappointed in this post. Hope you are ok!?

Malach the Merciless said...

Mandated reporter here, going have to call the local police

Michelle Hix said...

I think Elise is just trying to say that work really sucks right now. I speak her "fainting couch drama" fluently ha ha

Linda and her Surroundings said...

No, sorry, not allowed. It would upset too many people. You are going through a rough patch. Ride it through, it will pass. Take care.

Sheena Gates said...

God Damn, Elise! Just read the last few posts, you have been on quite the ride my love!

Here, have a bottle of Xanax :P

C.Rag said...

The weekend & a few drinks will cure the hurling off the building disease.

Poetikat said...

You've been watching too many black comedies, Elise. Oh, you wacky, Brits!
Personally (although being Catholic, I shun suicide), I think it would have to be the old pills'n'booze route for me. Just numb everything and go to sleep.
Kat

lotus07 said...

I offer this counter-point. The Suicide office has its benefits over the 'sit-com' office, which is where I work. In your office, there will be an end, albeit, possibly violent. In my office, it is like being stuck in an episode of Seinfeld or Cheers....it is funny at first, until you realize there is no remote control, you can't turn off the set, and the laugh track never stops......someone just kill me now....please.