Wednesday, 27 May 2009

The Police Interview

I've been pretty tired. Too tired to blog. Too tired to read (and believe me I've missed reading blogs).

There's been little progress on CEO's claim. Obviously the police have to investigate every case that gets thrown their way, no matter how stupid it may seem.

Apparently it wasn't always like that. Before the "terror" attacks, the police would refuse to view cases if they didn't deem them as important. Now all cases are important. Talk about a waste of resources.

So last week the PO in charge of the case called me and asked me to come in for a friendly interview.

I said no.

He said if I refuse he'll have to come and collect me.

I was excited. I'd be one of those badass bitches. Maybe I could wear my leather jacket, some eyeliner...

"You mean you'll arrest me?!"

"It's not that dramatic."

"Will you cuff me?"


"Read me my rights?"


"Can we have the siren on?"


"This isn't a movie. And to be honest, the case is seriously minor."

"No excitement?"


"Oh. Okay."

In the end I drove down. They made me nice cup of ginger tea. (The metropolitan police budget includes Twinnings Special Tea! ps: Thanks Kitty, Crag and Angel for the tips) And they asked me a stream of questions.

I was there for about an hour. The PO looked like he was going to burst out laughing during the session. Believe me I held nothing back.

"This isn't the first time they've called the police." I told him. "CEO called the fraud squad once. Some one had a misspelling on their website."

That was a funny incident. They asked him how much money the company had lost because of it. CEO's attitude was "We didn't actually lose anything, but we could have lost money."

It's like leaving you're car door unlocked and calling the police the next day:
"Sir, you're car hasn't been stolen." "Yes, but the point is, it could have been."

How do people that stupid survive in the world? I hate the fact that they waltz through life without a fucking clue!


Cocaine Princess said...

What an absolutely funny post!!!!!

Talk about you being cheeky with the questions you asked the PO!!
For the record I'm not a big fan of the police.

Kitty said...

Yay - so pleased the ginger thing is helping. I don't know why midwives don't tell people about it - it saves a hell of a lot of head down the toilet time! x

Bina said...

How funny! "Can we have the siren on???"


I loved this.

I often wonder how some people keep making in the world, too. I have an ex friend that is such a loser, she has been evicted four times in 18 months.

Malach the Merciless said...

I got to ride in the back of a Police car the other day, one of my clients was arrested and I wanted to accompany him to the station, so I requested the back as I have never been arrested.

Slyde said...

this guy is a jerk.. i humbly offer to beat him up for you.

angel said...

Its amazing what ginger can do!
The interview at least sounds entertaining. So do they now tell CEO to shove it?

Polgara said...

Speaking of tips when you get towards the end get some raspberry leaf tea capsules, there is apparently no proof they work but my midwife told me about them, them help your labour and delivery be faster by helping the elasticity of your uterus.I took them myself and feel they worked:0)
Hope you're feeling better, when are you due? Have you had a scan yet??
Pol x

Elise said...

"helping the elasticity of your uterus"

LOL! I seriously hadn't thought that far ahead. I love the way you write Pol!

I've got the tiniest little bump now. Feels amazing!


KaB said...

I loved that...what a great chuckle mid work!

As for the police officer...they must be chuckling too...what a crock of shit!

Hope the baba stops making you puke...bless...poor Elise :) All will be better eventually!

Bruce said...

How do people that stupid survive in the world? I hate the fact that they waltz through life without a fucking clue!.....they all band together to form governments, so that their mass stupidity protects them.

presious said...

Thank you for your last comment on my post :). I really do feel like a brat sometimes. My sisters and a few close friends say I am a brat LOL! I try not to be. I do love helping people. I like people to feel they are ok cause life is not fair.

How are you feeling? I notice you haven't posted in a bit of time. How is the baby doing? I hope you are resting and being patient with yourself as you grow through the pregnancy. You will feel, think, do, eat in a lot of ways you have never done before!...:) Know that you are normal.

HUGS to you and the baby. :)