Thursday, 14 May 2009

The full story, apparently

Nephew is Brother-in-law's son. Apparently.

I don't know what to believe, to be honest. Sister told me everything that night.

Sister was with Brother-in-law when Mother married Stepfather (Sister is my stepsister, but she's the only sibling I have. I love her). Anyway, Sister and Brother-in-law knew each other from school. They used to go camping together.

I don't understand the whole fuss about camping. You spend ages setting up a tent just so you can sit outside by a fire. You hardly sleep because there are so many insects around and you wake up smelly. Why not have a fire in the back garden? You can sit around in the grass and swap stories and get drunk. Once your all knackered you can stagger into a nice clean bed.

Anyway, Brother-in-law asked Sister to marry him on one of their group camping trips. Although she said yes, she later told Sean that she was unsure. She was a little drunk at the time. She shared a kiss with Sean behind one of the tents.

To be honest, when Sister told me that I was really pissed off. I told her everything that happened in my life, and she didn't trust me enough to tell me that she snogged her boyfriends best friend.

Anyway, Brother-in-law and Sister got married (obviously). I was maid of honour and Sean was best man. I remember he didn't look too happy that day. Then he tried to kiss me on the dance floor. It didn't work, I stepped on his toe with my heel. Besides I was young. Really young. What a perve!

He left for a job in Edinburgh not long afterwards. I didn't hear much about him after the wedding. I assumed he'd moved on with life.

A year or so into their marriage, Sean went to stay with Brother-in-law and Sister for a weekend. Now I'm pretty disgusted by this, but Sister slept with him. It was a one time thing, apparently.

I don't care that it was only one time. She was a bitch for doing it. Brother-in-law must have crossed her mind while it was happening. The fact that she didn't stop it just shows a lack of respect.

She told Brother-in-law. She couldn't keep it to herself. And he forgave her. He actually forgave her for sleeping with his best friend.

Sean showed up about six months ago and saw Brother-in-law, Sister and Nephew unloading the car. He must have got the wrong end of the stick because he rushed over and kept saying "Why didn't you tell me? Let me see my son."


Nephew is Brother-in-law's son. Brother-in-law went mad and told him to piss off out of their lives. And Sister thought that was the end of that.

Obviously not if she accidently got a text meant for some other woman.

I don't condone what Sister did, but that doesn't give Brother-in-law the right to cheat on her.

After Sister told me the full story I stared at her in shock. She wasn't the person I'd always thought she was. I'd always looked up to her. She was the one with high morality. She'd kept so much from me. When I lost my virginity she was the first person I called!

She was always so happy with Brother-in-law. They were the perfect, boring couple. Was that the problem? Was she bored with him? They could have spiced things up. Gone on holiday or something.

It's over. How are they going to work it out? How can you ever look at someone knowing that they've betrayed you?

Solicitor and I were lying in bed last night. I bit his shoulder gently and said "If you ever cheat on me, I'd never forgive you." He kissed me and said "Good. We're on the same page."


Bina said...

Wow. Elise, things happen sometimes that no one can explain or understand, even the people who have done them. It is possible to forgive someone and work on a marriage after this happens. I've seen it done (not by me! I could NEVER trust again) and the couples are so very happy now. Maybe your sister was ashamed to tell you and she didn't want you to think worse of her. I'm sure it's been a big burden to her.

I hope they can work it out. Honestly, I don't think she should leave him just because she caught him. For him, the one time with best friend is fresh, so they both probably feel betrayed right now.

Maybe they SHOULD go on holiday, with nephew, and spend time alone somewhere in a beautiful place, and just talk.

presious said...

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Not at all what I was thinking! I was totally in defense of your sister. However, that did not give brother-in-law a license to cheat. He should have felt guilty, but for her to do it AGAIN!...and a son by him?!!! Wow! That's HUGE! Where is the love here? Who is the love for? Is there any love at all?

She is actually lucky that brother-in-law is wanting to talk to her. Seems like she is having trouble facing herself, trouble looking herself in the mirror.

She has a decision to make. Someone is going to be very, very hurt...maybe all of them will be hurt depending on what direction this goes.


presious said...

As Bina said, trust is precious. The trust has been totally destroyed in this situation, both for the friendship between the men and the relationship with her between them. How can this possibly work?

I've actually seen a couple work this out as well. They have been married for over 20 years and are wonderfully happy today.

Me, I could never trust that person again. She will have to forgive herself before she can move on with this. REALLY difficulty position to be in.

Kitty said...

Is it really all over?
Has he been cheating long?
Does he love the other woman?
Was it a one-off?

Will I ever stop asking questions?



Cocaine Princess said...

I honestly don't know what to say Elise.

You stared at her in shock..... well I'm just in plain shock.

Malach the Merciless said...

I agree, cheating to me is unforgivable, if your relationship is at that point? Break up.

Slyde said...

Earl and I had that same talk in bed last night...

at least i was right about there being something up romantically with Sean

C.Rag said...

Is there any chance of them getting back together?

angel said...

Its frustrating when the people we look up to and love turn out to have flaws...
And my Glugster and I are on the same page you and Solicitor are on.

Bruce said...

It is a sad reality, that we only really know ourselves.....we can never really know someone matter how hard we try.