Sticky Pink Stuff and Squelching Shoes

My car broke down this morning.

I'm not a snob. I take public transport all the time. I would be lost without the tubes and buses. How would I get to clubs and bars without them?

However, it's been years since I took public transport during rush hour. Buses and trains crowded with swearing school children. Swarms of people walking at 80 miles an hour with the Metro Newspaper folded under one arm and a Costa Coffee cup in their other hand.

British people are so miserable!

Nobody smiles at anyone. They keep they're eyes averted and stare into space until they reach their stop. Nobody talks to anyone. Apart from the occasional pissed off "tut" nobody utters a word.

It brings back memories. I remember now why I was thrilled when I passed my driving test and bought myself a car. I remember why I'd rather pay the Congestion Charge and drive to work, even if it means that I have to sit in traffic for an extra half an hour.

When I finally arrived at my stop I walked out into a puddle. Stupid, uneven pavement! My stylish compact umbrella was no match for the heavy rain. How the hell could somebody design an umbrella that doesn't shield you from the rain?! Isn't that the whole point?

By the time I arrived to work I was miserable, snappy and drenched from head to toe.

As I squelched up the stairs to my office I preparing myself for a bad day my phone began ringing. Aimee??

"Hi?"

"Hi Elise."

"Um... how are you?"

"Good. You?"

"Yeah I'm great."

I stood outside my office door digging into my bag for my key. Shit, where did I put it? Eww whats that sticky stuff? Oh shit! My lipstick. Where's the lid?

I tried hard to concentrate on what she was saying.

"Uh huh.... uh huh...."

"... so I was thinking maybe Earls Court? There's this restaurant that I love. Seven o'clock Friday okay?"

"Uh huh... Great."

Wait. What?

"You'll love him! Honestly he's dying to meet you guys. I'll speak to you soon and tell you everything okay?"

Wait. What? Yuck! There's all pink stuff on my keys.

"Love you lots Elise. Bye honey!"

Okay. I think, I'm not entirely sure, but I think that I've agreed to dinner with Aimee and whoever "he" may be.

Solicitor is going to kill me! The last time we saw Aimee he specifically told her (and me) that she shouldn't contact either of us and that he wanted her completely out of our lives.

It's not a problem I'll just call her back and...

Oh Shit! Phone.

"Hey babe. You okay?"

"Did you speak to Aimee?"

"Yeah she just called. Something about Earls Court."

"Elise, we are not meeting up with her."

"Yeah I know I was just going to cancel.."

"So tell me, how long have you and my ex wife been talking?"

"We're not... I haven't.."

"Fuck it. We'll talk about this later."

Solicitor can be such an idiot sometimes. I actually felt like I did something wrong. She called me! I didn't call her. I didn't even know what I agreed to.

If the stupid keys weren't at the bottom of my bag... You know something, I knew I shouldn't have taken the lipstick with me... Blood wet shoes... Stupid train...It's the stupid cars fault. It had to break down didn't it....

Okay. It's okay. It's not that bad. There are starving people in the world.

Oh great. My printer's not working.