Thursday, 5 June 2008

"Oh, and she showed me her boobs..."

Yesterday was beautiful day. A complete contrast to Tuesday.

Stoner and I had Lunch outside on a park bench.

"Oh I found a replacement."

"For who?"

"For you. Someone else I'd rather have lunch with."

Stoner was only teasing but I couldn't help feeling jealous.

"Yeah? Who is she?"

"She petite, like you. Dark hair, like you. Beautiful eyes, like you. Oh, and she showed me her boobs."

Stoner casually took a bite into his sandwich. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

"Were you dreaming?" I asked sweetly. Stoner laughed and told me the story.

On Tuesday Stoner went to Costa for lunch. He managed to find himself a corner table. As he sat down a sweet voice caused him to look up.

"Can I join you? The tables are full."

Stoner nodded and she sat down. She ripped open two packets of brown sugar and stirred them into her latte. Stoner couldn't help noticing how soft her hands looked. He cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say.

"So.. um.. you work around here?"

The girl smiled and nodded. She pointed at the bank across the road.

"First day."

"And how are you finding it?"


"How come?"

"No cute guys."

Stoner laughed. He couldn't resist the urge to flirt.

"Oh! Now I see why you came and sat with me."

She laughed and flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"What makes you think that I think your cute?"

"I didn't say that. But now that you mention it..."

The conversation went on. Each person playfully teasing the other. They were comfortable with each other. She was easy to talk to. Easy to laugh with.

"You think my boobs are too big?"

It came out of nowhere. Stoner tried hard not to look. But she invited him to look didn't she?

Her coat was slightly open. The top few buttons on her black shirt were undone. He could see her cleavage. She leaned over. Shit! What was he supposed to do? She was showing him! Would it be rude to look? Would it be rude not to look?

He looked. He couldn't help it. He has no idea why guys love boobs so much but they do. When a pretty young woman decides to lean over and reveal all its a guys duty to look.

He looked back up at her. She smiled and pulled her coat shut.

"It was nice having lunch with you. Maybe another time?"

"Um... yeah."

"See you around."

She picked up her bag and walked out.

"So are you going to see her again?"

"I have no idea. I don't even know her name."

"Wow what a skank."

Stoner smiled.

"Yeah. So I'm replacing you."

"You can't replace me with a nameless ho."

"Look Elise, you have to step up in the game. Make it worth my while."

He looked at my chest pointedly and winked. I kicked him under the table.


Polgara said...

Ha ha you gotta love men, i have some blow up boobs somewhere i won once at an Ann Summers party, can always post them on if you think he would like them lol
Pol x

B.E. Earl said...

She's just like you and she showed him her boobs.

I dunno...sounds like reason enough to replace you. ;)

Craig said...

i am with b.e. earl on this one ;)

nimrodstudios said...

Great observation. Keep it going. Like the run on style. Good conversation technique. I'll earmark and return.

C.Rag said...

So after the kick did you show him your boobs?

He needs to go to that Bank & get a loan.

angel said...

heh heh
did you leave a bruise?

hayley-emsley said...

What a tramp! haha

Less is more Elise, don't show him a thing, let him imagine!!

Baba Doodlius said...

What is it with you humans and your fascination with those "boob" things? I don't get it. 'Course I lack boobs entirely, so I guess I'm not really *supposed* to get it.

D.O.N. said...

This is my first time here and I gotta say i really like your blog, and I got to agree, hard to not look when someone is just laying it all out there. Maybe i should go eat by myself more often.

Chickie said...

Well, you can't blame a guy for asking.

Anonymous said...

lol, can't blame a guy for tryin' ;)

KaB said...

haha...and you can't blame a guy for looking either esp if they're right there in his face!


An entertaining one though :)

sweets said...

oh come on elise show him your boobies, it's the LAST thing he'd expect :)~

lotus07 said...

Good Kick.....

(I bet he made the whole thing up, us guys are sneaking in that way.)

Malach the Merciless said...


Mike said...

Even if I couldn't get past the word boobs, great story.


Bharat said...

Oooh.. the competition is really stepping up now... :) Funny how that doesn't usually happen though... does it? DOES IT?! that would be completely weird...

Trée said...

Boobs are important. Very important. :-)

Daszzle said...

Haha, good for you. But seriously though, with a title like that how I could anybody not want to read more. You're a trip and I love it!

Ooh the power of boobs.

taxitalk said...

Dudes love boobs.

Cocaine Princess said...

I can't get past the title!
I've missed you and I'm glad you're back blogging babe!

Cocaine Princess

roentarre said...

So hilarious. Love your story as always

Kitty said...

My son is still under 10, but I already know that he'll be a boob man when he grows up. x

Slyde said...

wow, is her company hiring?

its a long commute for me, i know, but the benefits sounds pretty damn good...

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Even I would look at some girl's boobs if they were out there. I mean, what else is there to do? Although, my reasons for looking would be completely different to a guys. It would be like WTF! Put 'em back girly.

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

LOL oh that is too funny! Men.. and their obsession with boobs!

Michelle Hix said...

Guys really like boobs that much? wow, I'm in trouble..oh well.

Melain said...

She sounds like the dream girl of any vapid single man. Your wit is WAY bigger than her boobs, and that will ultimately take you further. :)

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