Monday, 16 June 2008

Poker Face

Yesterday I received a letter from New Guy.

Last week I had a bad case of a cold. The type that hits you gradually. It starts with feeling cold. The type of cold where you have to continuously rub you hands together and curl up in a tight ball to stay warm. You feel like you have a razor blade lodged in your throat. You can't focus on anything. Even the simple task of going to the bathroom seems like an impossible mission. You're head feels sore and heavy...

Obviously I couldn't drive to work like that. I'd be a hazard. So I took time off.

When I arrived on Monday morning New Guy happily handed me an official letter. Disciplinary Action in accordance with Statutory Disciplinary Procedures...

I choked.

I had to read it again. I apparently failed to provide a "reasonable explanation for my absence". Now I'm no expert on the matter, but I'm pretty sure that having a cold is a fucking reasonable explanation for absence.


I went for a walk to clear my head. And to calm down. I didn't want to get arrested for assault.

I pulled out my phone and text Gay Boss. (I should really change his name but I can't be bothered)

He called me.

"Hey"

"Hey"

He paused.

"So... um... how's it going?"

"Awful!"

Gay Boss paused. A wave of hysteria took over and I started laughing. I laughed until I cried.

I hadn't spoken to Gay Boss since he left. I missed him terribly. His dry remarks always used to crack me up. He could make me laugh in almost any situation.

"I've got a disciplinary"

"Oh its your turn now."

"Thanks."

"A Pleasure."

I loved the way it sounded so casual. Suddenly the situation didn't seem so bad. We spoke for almost an hour. I told him that New Guy is a sexist prick. He told me that he's been to China.

Of course, the conversation quickly turned back to my Disciplinary. Gay Boss is well aware, from experience, of the steps that will follow. I'm about to be managed out.

"You know, its only when you step back and leave that you realise how fucked up that company really is."

"I can see how fucked up it is. God, I need a holiday."

"Well its been a few months and I still haven't recovered. I'm nearly normal but not quite there yet."

It's my turn now. I have a target circle tattooed on me.

I'm not worried about the Disciplinary Action. I haven't done anything wrong. It's the drama that will follow the meeting that concerns me. I've seen how the game is played here. Lucky for me I think I've been dealt a good hand.

Now all I need to do is put on my Poker Face.

35 comments:

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

I want to say get out, quick! I also want to say that you and Gay Boss should consider starting up a business together. I think it would do amazingly well.

C.Rag said...

In the long run it will all work out.
No reason to me stuck in a shithole of a company like that.

Trée said...

Sounds like a toxic environment. And there is rarely a cure. So, I'm with PDX, get out as quickly as you can. Don't you love it when people give you unsolicited advice. :-D

Slyde said...

wow, thats some strict place you have there... disiplinary for some sick days?

i'd hate to see what happens when you decide to just take a day off for the hell of it...

Cocaine Princess said...

What a A-HOLE!

Feel better sweetie!

XOXOXOXO,
Cocaine Princess

Kitty said...

So they were just waiting for something to pin on you, no matter how tenuous?

They don't deserve you. But make 'em sweat first ;-) x

Creative Student said...

If it is bringing you down, get out of there! thats what I did in my last job! Love your blog style!

Hope you can swing bye to my blog, ill definately be reading more of yours!!

angel said...

oooh thats rough... hang in there!

twentysomethingandclueless said...

Oh dear. Get out quick!! How's your business coming along??

Polgara said...

Good luck Elise, maybe you should start that business of your own a bit quicker!
Hope you're feeling better!
Pol x

KaB said...

I say raise your game & play him!

Or fold if you don't want to lose out in the long run!

Hope this sorts itself out because it sounds like a bunch of bullshit if you ask me!

The Reluctant Dreamer said...

by all means get your "poker face" on!

Daszzle said...

Good luck chica. Honestly, if it sucks there get out while you can.

Malach the Merciless said...

Can you get a AK 47 there in the UK? Seems to help some people in the US with job issues

hayley-emsley said...

Elise, he can't do that, they have to warn you verbally before giving you a disciplinary letter, take him to the cleaners!!! Cheeky get!

Glad to have you back!

Did you go for dinner with Solicitors ex?

B.E. Earl said...

This new boss sucks.

Tell him to gay his act up a bit so you can start spying on his emails and stuff.

We miss gay boss.

sweets said...

you sound so calm... i would be breaking out in hives just about now!

you really need to move on anyway... that company is seriously fucked up.

good luck!

lotus07 said...

"You know, its only when you step back and leave that you realise how fucked up that company really is.", I think I am going to have this as the epitah on my tombstone. It is one of the axioms of life that I have come to realize, the older I get.

Michelle Hix said...

This New Guy needs a new name...I can think of a few off the top of my head...better not write them here though!

Simply Curious said...

What a shitty environment to be in, on a day to day basis... I can't really say what Id do in your situation, since I'm not in it, but it definitely sounds like it's time to slowly move on. Everyone else is saying how quickly you should leave, but if you are indeed, going to leave, make sure you do it slowly, and thoughtfully.

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've commented. I've been on hiatus for a bit. Hope you're feeling better, girlie!

hayley-emsley said...

Where are you???

astrogalaxy said...

New Guy should really have another name like what Michelle hix said!

Ava Brando said...

I greatly enjoy your blog-- I just spent the last few hours reading your older posts-- I can't wait to hear what comes next!

love,

Ava

happy snapper said...

Wow, you really need to get out of there! unless you have a good enough hand to win the entire pot, take your chips and run. Ive seen it happen before to a friend. They suspended her on wrongful grounds, and then proceeded to acuse her of further things at her hearing. Despite all the grease she had on them, she plainly presented them with her resignation. That will hit them harder in the long run.
Maybe now you can focus more on your own business plan! Nothing like a little nudge eh. Hope it all works out! x

Will said...

Well. Here I am, thinking I've got troubles! Elise, dear: You and Gay Boss need to join forces.
The time is ripe. Disciplinary, my ass (Wait! let me re-phrase that!)...

...Disciplinary Action! When you're ill. Seems to me, there's room for a Suit of your own...

...If you're not steamed about this, I'm gonna be steamed for you, k?

**
How did the meeting go?

~x~Will

Trée said...

Missing you like butter missing popcorn.

bernard n. shull said...

hi mate, this is the canadin pharmacy you asked me about: the link

Wendiva said...

argh, drama is so overrated! you so don't need this...then again, who doesn't put on a poker face at work?! it'll all work out in the end...you'll see!

Polgara said...

Come on Elise, how much longer will we have to wait for an instalment!!
Pol x

angel said...

AND??!!
WELL!!!?
where are you...?

Michelle Hix said...

I thought I was gone for a while but Elise you are MIA! Hope you are just busy getting your ideas off the ground and running!

SavvyD said...

I STILL have the letter from the MTA that showed the subway train was late. I was 7 minute late or something. But the letter came after I was fired for excessive tardiness. whatever.

Ruby said...

where the hell have you been??? and i thought i've been the only one MIA:)

astrogalaxy said...

Oh Elise! Is everything OK?
You've not been posting for quite some time!
Take Care!!!

Slyde said...

where the heck r u?