Tuesday, 6 May 2008

A Breath Of Fresh Air

It's a breath of fresh air.

The new guy is... well he's... nice. That's the only way I can describe him. He's nice. He smiles. He makes jokes. He's upbeat and enthusiastic.

For the past week he's been sharing my office. He's slowly getting to grips with how things are run. He's dying to go out and find new business. He's eager to meet existing clients. And slowly but surely he's enthusiasm is killing me.

I would love to come into work and have and old fashioned bitch fight. A moody hello followed by a nasty comment. Without Gay Boss people are pleasant and boring.

Last Friday New Guy and I had a discussion. I told him the bad parts. CEO's random fits of illogical behaviour. I told him to be prepared for stalker-like behaviour if he does anything wrong. He was slightly shocked. He sat in silence for a while tapping away at his computer.

"Don't worry," I gave him a reassuring smile "You'll be fine."


"He's screwed."

Stoner and I had lunch together that day. It was warm enough to sit in park. We lay on the grass sharing a cigarette as we spoke about New Guy.

"In any other company it would be a fantastic attitude. He motivates people."

"Yep. But if you're like that here you'll fall harder."

"you think he'll fall?"

Stoner shrugged.

"They all do."

Gay Boss once told me about the person that he replaced. And the person before him. Stoner's right. They all fell. Gay Boss lasted the longest. CEO actually liked him for a long time. I wonder what changed.


On Saturday I began working hard on my business plan. I walked around the house conjuring up ideas. I threw tree loads of paper into the bin as I ruled out the ideas. I spent hours tracking down old contact information.

Towards the end of the day I was exhausted and frustrated.

Solicitor's brother came over for dinner that night with he's current girlfriend. (He's had about six different ones in the last four months.) As we sat down to eat I suddenly lunged for a pen and my notepad. I tripped over the rug in my desperation.

"What the fuck?"

Solicitor's brother looked at me alarmed. Solicitor shook his head and continued to pour drinks. He's used to my sudden outbursts of energy. I once sprung up out of bed in the middle of the night reaching for my notebook. He thought the house was on fire.

As I wrote down information that I suddenly recalled Solicitor explained my business idea to his brother. Throughout dinner Solicitor's brother showed a keen interest in my plan. He asked questions about the development strategy and he supplied new ideas.

"Elise, it's going to work. Nobody's doing what you're doing. It'll take time but when it takes off it will be amazing."

Amazing?! I love him!

Later that night as I was getting ready for bed I asked Solicitor for the millionth time if he thought it would work.

"Yes babe. It'll work."

"You think it'll be amazing?"

He dropped a kiss on my lips. A very sweet way of shutting me up.

"Do you?"

"Yes babe."



"You're not just saying that?"

"Have you taken you're knickers off or do I have to it for you?"


astrogalaxy said...

The part you wrote : "And slowly but surely he's enthusiasm is killing me."
LOL...I can imagine how a new colleque can sometimes really overdo some things!

B.E. Earl said...

I've been trying to motivate Gia, so far unsuccessfully, to get going with either a business plan or a life plan since she was fired last week. It's not easy.

i am the diva said...

can't wait to see what the future holds for you elise!!

jeff said...

Knickers! I'm gonna use that line no matter how lame it sounds. Anyway, hopefully your business plan gets you rich, just remember me when you're at the top.

C.Rag said...

The put planning & thought you put in to your business the better it will be.
The hardest part is the final leap.

Polgara said...

Good to hear you're still working on it and still happy :0)
Pol x

Kitty said...


Had you taken your knickers off, or did he have to do it for you?

:-p x

Slyde said...

this sounds like a very exciting chapter in your life... im proud of ya, sister!

and if you do overseas business, please give me a job. I'm about to job out the window at my CURRENT one (which wouldnt be too big of a deal, in retrospect, since i work on the first floor).

hayley-emsley said...

Loved the last bit, how romantic! Hope they weren't bridgets! Ha ha

I can imagine the over enthusiasm, it will die down, trust me!

Poetikat said...

Ooh...I'm ever so intrigued about your business. What can it be? What is it that noone else is doing? When will you let us in on the secret?


Hey Elise - glad you liked the cat-celeb post. Amy W? hilarious!

Come back soon, cuz I've got a new story and you won't want to miss it!

bRaT said...

haha.. the last bit was sweet... I can tell you're really... uncontainable about this new idea... I hope it works out for you :)

just don't lose faith :)

Malach the Merciless said...

Let me guess, you making a company that helps companies make other companies that create company for companies.


roentarre said...

I met similar people at work as well. What I do is to make sure I do not look too "bad" in comparison to this type of personality. It is really all about impression these days

KaB said...

I love how proactive the two of you are...you in business & he in the bedroom...how the tables have turned since I started reading your blog


sweets said...

hehe loved that last line!!
now i'm very curious about your business plan?!
poor new guy... if he only knew right?

Anonymous said...

Your business plan sounds exciting...good luck with it!!! (love the way you ended this post. lol)

happy snapper said...

Good to hear things are goin well with the planning of your business! Im sure its going to be awesome, once you've kick started it.
And yes, I love how you ended the post aswell ;) xx

Lopz said...

As always, a fabulous post that leaves us all gagging for more... and Solicitor too apparently! Hope it was good ;-)

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Sometimes work collegues can be a bit too keen - it just brings to my attention just how slack I have become perhaps...

So the new business - hmmm, I look forward to hearing about this one.

lotus07 said...

Priorities....knickers first, business plan 23rd. Gotta get it straight.

New Guy is doomed. The danger about bringing in 'fresh blood' to a dysfunctional office, is that they can't get a handle on the reasons for the dysfunctionality...and they fail. I have seen it over and over again.

Ruby said...

oh my! sounds like you've had a couple of good ideas:) sos for being gone so long, but i r back:)

Globus said...

globus said the same thing to mrs g about her business idea, and 18 months on, it's gone on hold, not quite achieving the greatness anticipated - so good luck.

globus is also worried as the work scenario sounds uncannily like his new workplace. he will be scrutinising his new coworkers for any elise-isms forthwith!

Ruby said...

globus....it would be hillarious if you and elise were working at the same place...LOL

Elise said...

Oh my God...

Globus, are you wearing a blue shirt today?

Michelle Hix said...

You are a smart girl Elise...I've watched you take notes for a long time at your job...always watching people...you are very intuitive with people...good luck with the business venture.

Globus said...

ruby, that'd be pretty screwed. still, weirder things have happened!

troublingly, globus was, as it actually happens, wearing a blue shirt today :|

Cocaine Princess said...

I'm glad things are going so well with New Boss sweetie-pie!

Cocaine Princess