Sunday, 6 September 2009

Elise Returns

It's been pretty crazy.

The first two weeks were spent in a slump of depression. I mean actual depression.

Sister came to stay and we did nothing but lounge around in our pajamas staring into space. Occasionally one of us would speak.

"He doesn't know where the Lenor goes. How is he going to do his laundry? Should I call him? I should. I'm going to call him."

She didn't call. And I never answered her.

I was listening.

Subconsciously.

"How can the doctors say "it's just one of those things" and "it's nature's way"? What kind of bullshit answer is that? Their supposed to be scientists, but when it comes to something that they don't know it becomes "nature's way". What the fuck?!"

It worked both ways. She never answered. And in all honesty I don't think she was even listening.

But I needed her there. Just like she needed me.

Then of course Solicitor lost it with the both of us. Over a bowl of dry pasta and frozen garlic bread.

It wasn't the fact that I'd over boiled the pasta and completely forgot to cook some sauce. It wasn't even the fact that Sister forgot to switch the oven on to cook the pathetic roll of garlic bread. It was the fact that we'd spent over two hours preparing the meal.

Solicitor, like most men when they get back from work, was hungry. He was tired and slightly moody. He'd reached for a menu and I'd felt the first stirrings of guilt. I insisted that I'd cook. Sister numbly got up from the sofa to help.

Two hours later Solicitor stared at the breakfast bar and completely flipped out. Sister cried. For the first time in weeks. I sobbed my heart out. For the first time in weeks. Solicitor told us both that he'd book us both for an appointment if we didn't sort ourselves out.

British people don't go to doctors for those kind of problems. There's nothing ever wrong with us. Complain? Yes. Admit that it's affecting us? No way! We don't do psychological traumas. We don't have them.

So the next day Sister moved back home. Nephew missed her terribly and moving home got her back into a routine.

I signed up with an agency and began temping.

Temping is an odd world. Honestly, people assume that you're pretty thick if you're a temp.

"Can you staple these two documents together? Please make sure the pages are in order. It makes sense when they're in order."

You don't say!

It keeps me busy. And I meet new people.

I've started planning my wedding. Sometimes flower arrangements are so fascinating. Other times I toss the wedding magazines aside with zero interest and tell Solicitor that I think it would be better if we just eloped.

The last time I said that he actually scared me a little. He told me that he'd looked into a Vegas wedding at he'd really love to do the Elvis thing. I must have looked so shocked and freaked out that he laughed at me and handed me the new bride gown catalogue that I ordered. I haven't complained much since then...

13 comments:

angel said...

Hey you! I am so glad you're back! I came to check on you every week...
I'm planning mine and Glugster's wedding too! We were at another wedding expo today.

Trée said...

Welcome back Elise. Having just married a daughter, I'd say without reservation, ELOPE! Tell no one. Just do it.

Polgara said...

So so so so glad you're back!
Missed you
Pol x

Malach the Merciless said...

Nice to be back, here in the US, we pride ourselves on our mental illnesses and our happy pills.

La Gringa said...

Very nice to see you back, Elise!

And for what it's worth, I agree with elope. I've done it once each way. My second time, we eloped to a romantic island with clear water and pink sand beaches! Fantastic!

Cocaine Princess said...

I'm in agreement with everyone else, very glad you're back to posting.

Just the two of you exchanging vows in an intimate setting with no one else around, hmm, I think it's kind of romantic to elope.

Passion Fruit said...

Nice to see you're updating again. I wish you all the strength.

Kitty said...

Speaking as someone who has 'been there' ... it takes a while. To 'deal with it' mentally and emotionally. At least it did for me.

Lovely to see you back. Take care of yourself. x

Slyde said...

welcome back! dont be such a stranger!

Bruce said...

A couple of things. Like, you have been on a bit of a hiatus. Good to have you back. As for the mental down time, that is something we all go through, it is a normal thing. I have often commented that we are ALL bi-polar....it is just a matter of degrees and severity.

As for the Vegas wedding, don't discount it. While every woman wants the white veil and the big show, once you have been there and done that, true love comes down to the 'running away with each other'. My wife and I got married in Vegas, we dressed up as a night and damsel at Excalibur and then went tearing off across the country in a convertable. So far, this is the best marriage I have ever had.

Bina said...

I'm glad you're back. I've missed you. And maybe the temping will help, and once they realize you aren't a moron, they may offer you a perm job!!!!

Vegas wedding. Nah. How 'bout Hawaii!

angel said...

So you were just teasing then...?

presious said...

Elise! Welcomed back! It sounds like you are working on it lol! Hey, everybody is human and an issue is an issue, it is what it is. If you need to talk to someone just to get your thoughts straight and get your life back on track, just do it for a few sessions and be done with it. It doesn't mean long term and it certainly doesn't mean you have lost your mind!

We all go through it. Help is good. We can't always handle our lives alone. It's ok to have a third person's input. YOu will be surprise. Besides, if you don't like it or feel uncomfortable, just leave and don't go back.

In my opinion, having been married once, weddings are so overrated. It's to feel pretty once in a life time at a huge price. If it is too much to plan, elope. You can still invite your friends and still have a reception with all the trimmings but at half the cost and the headache.

Good to see you back :).