I'm finding it hard to write.
When you've got nothing to do all day there's very little you can report on. I'm used to spending my days doing something productive. Actually, thinking about it, I'm not used to doing nothing.
Unemployment is a very strange place to live in. It's very lonely and quiet until it hits 5:30 when most of the people I know finish work. I spend my mornings applying to jobs, most of which I have decided to not exist. I get a call from a recruitment agency every so often. They take down my details and insist they have a few positions available. they then ask me how long I've been in sales. I tell them that I've never sold anything in my life and if they'd bothered to actually read my CV they'd know that.
My afternoons are either spent watching a stream of dvds with a ton of chocolate or they're spent at Bimbo's. I love spending time with Bimbo but I feel so demotivated every time I see her. According to Bimbo I shouldn't feel the need to work. Work is a man's job, and since Solicitor has more than enough money to support us both, I should start thinking about the future.
You know Solicitor and I have thought about getting married and having children, but there is so much more that I want to achieve in life. True, I don't actually have solid goals written down that I'm crossing off as I achieve them, but I still think there's so much more for me to do first.
Solicitor's brother called me yesterday and asked me how my business plan was coming along. I told him the truth. On paper it looks great but I'm terrified of taking the plunge.
"You've got nothing to lose now, Elise. Take the plunge."
I couldn't sleep last night. I feel like I'm on the edge of a diving board. I have to jump.
Monday, 8 December 2008
Thursday, 20 November 2008
I really do mean it
I know I've said this before, but this time I really do mean it. I'm back.
Without a job.
The last two months have been sheer hell. New Guy and CEO worked hard together to get rid of me. You know something, I don't go down without a fight.
Melinda sorted through all of the "evidence" that I'd gathered and helped me make sense of it all. She then told me to file a grievance for Bullying and Harassment under the Act of Sex Discrimination.
The day that I wrote the grievance to CEO was the day that CEO decided to offer me a deal. He called a meeting in the boardroom at 11am, two hours after he received my letter. He offered me a substantial amount of money to drop the grievance and leave the company. I'm not stupid. I knew that he knew that I had a great hand. And I played off the fact that he knew it.... if that makes sense?
I put my negotiating skills into practice. I listed all the reasons that I should take CEO and New Guy to court. I loved the fact that beads of sweat began to appear on CEO's forehead. His hands trembled slightly. He tripled his offer and I stood up and shook his hand.
"A pleasure doing business with you. My lawyer will contact you."
I picked up my bag and sashayed out of the boardroom. I headed down to Admin and picked up the huge bag of stuff that I'd cleared out from my desk.
Stoner met me at the front entrance. He hugged me tightly. I kissed him on the cheek and left.
I drove straight to Bimbo's. She stopped working a month before she had her beautiful baby girl, with no plans of returning. We celebrated our "leaving do" with a cup of tea and chocolate cake.
Without a job.
The last two months have been sheer hell. New Guy and CEO worked hard together to get rid of me. You know something, I don't go down without a fight.
Melinda sorted through all of the "evidence" that I'd gathered and helped me make sense of it all. She then told me to file a grievance for Bullying and Harassment under the Act of Sex Discrimination.
The day that I wrote the grievance to CEO was the day that CEO decided to offer me a deal. He called a meeting in the boardroom at 11am, two hours after he received my letter. He offered me a substantial amount of money to drop the grievance and leave the company. I'm not stupid. I knew that he knew that I had a great hand. And I played off the fact that he knew it.... if that makes sense?
I put my negotiating skills into practice. I listed all the reasons that I should take CEO and New Guy to court. I loved the fact that beads of sweat began to appear on CEO's forehead. His hands trembled slightly. He tripled his offer and I stood up and shook his hand.
"A pleasure doing business with you. My lawyer will contact you."
I picked up my bag and sashayed out of the boardroom. I headed down to Admin and picked up the huge bag of stuff that I'd cleared out from my desk.
Stoner met me at the front entrance. He hugged me tightly. I kissed him on the cheek and left.
I drove straight to Bimbo's. She stopped working a month before she had her beautiful baby girl, with no plans of returning. We celebrated our "leaving do" with a cup of tea and chocolate cake.
Thursday, 14 August 2008
Melinda
I suppose I should go back and explain.
It all started with the 'disciplinary action' that New Guy took against me. I had a cold and I took a sick day. Apparently I didn't have a good enough reason for absence. After our official meeting, he issued me with an official warning. Solicitor went mad.
Fortunately for me New Guy had no idea that Solicitor is not only a lawyer, but that he also used to do business with the company. Solicitor urged me to write a letter appealing the outcome of the meeting to CEO.
Now here's where it got interesting. I should open up my own private spy company.
I hacked into New Guys emails. His password was pretty easy to figure out. He's a huge football fan. I typed in 'arsenal' and it worked! Scrolling through them I found quite a few from CEO. The one that stood out for me was their master plan.
RE: Project
(New Guy)
How did she take the written warning? We definitely followed the correct procedure issuing it. She just needs to slip two more times before we can proceed.
Any thoughts about (Wanker's) proposal?
(CEO)
My heart stopped when I read that. I pressed the print button and looked through the sent messages.
RE: Project
(CEO)
You're right. We have followed procedure. it may be a little tough short term but with the current economic climate as it is we could really do with the extra £38k to increase profits.
I have thought about (Wanker's) proposal. I think it's a little premature at the moment, however I will give it some thought.
As far as I can see the company needs a complete make-over. I will talk through different strategies with my team before presenting them to yourself.
Regards,
(New Guy)
Print.
I read through both emails. Surly they couldn't be talking about what I thought they were talking about? They want to get rid of me to increase profits? What proposal?
The more I thought about it the angrier I became. Later that night I showed Solicitor the emails. He read through them and re-read my written warning. The written warning had been drafted by a lawyer. It followed a generic layout and included certain phrases.
Their "project", whatever it may be, had been carefully planned out.
CEO terminated the companies services with Solicitors law firm. There's no way that Solicitor would ever agree to be involved with constructively dismissing a member of staff, especially if it were me.
New Guy definitely was not who he said he was. He clearly had a relationship with both CEO and Wanker before he joined the company. The only question was, what?
CEO received my appeal through the post the following day. He immediately sent an email to New Guy.
RE: Project
(New Guy)
I received a letter of appeal from Elise. However, I can't say this surprises me. Her boyfriend is in law. I expect she'll be receiving legal advice through that route.
Hopefully our ends are tied tight enough.
It's best if you continue to share and office with her until this matter is taken care of.
(CEO)
RE: Project
(CEO)
I can't help feeling that this has become a personal issue. In business it is wise to keep things as simple as possible.
Please keep me informed of all information. Small details, such as her boyfriend, make things more complicated than they need to be.
(New Guy)
Print. Print. Print.
Over the next few days I began collecting and slotting together pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. I desperately wanted to share with Stoner but this time I had to do it alone. I couldn't chance anything. I picked up the phone several time to call Gay Boss. I had to hang up before I could get through.
Solicitor gave me an address a week later. I dropped in during a lunch break. A petite middle-aged blond woman with a kind face held out her hand as I walked in.
"Elise, I'm Melinda. (Solicitor) told me the situation. Take a seat."
It all started with the 'disciplinary action' that New Guy took against me. I had a cold and I took a sick day. Apparently I didn't have a good enough reason for absence. After our official meeting, he issued me with an official warning. Solicitor went mad.
Fortunately for me New Guy had no idea that Solicitor is not only a lawyer, but that he also used to do business with the company. Solicitor urged me to write a letter appealing the outcome of the meeting to CEO.
Now here's where it got interesting. I should open up my own private spy company.
I hacked into New Guys emails. His password was pretty easy to figure out. He's a huge football fan. I typed in 'arsenal' and it worked! Scrolling through them I found quite a few from CEO. The one that stood out for me was their master plan.
RE: Project
(New Guy)
How did she take the written warning? We definitely followed the correct procedure issuing it. She just needs to slip two more times before we can proceed.
Any thoughts about (Wanker's) proposal?
(CEO)
My heart stopped when I read that. I pressed the print button and looked through the sent messages.
RE: Project
(CEO)
You're right. We have followed procedure. it may be a little tough short term but with the current economic climate as it is we could really do with the extra £38k to increase profits.
I have thought about (Wanker's) proposal. I think it's a little premature at the moment, however I will give it some thought.
As far as I can see the company needs a complete make-over. I will talk through different strategies with my team before presenting them to yourself.
Regards,
(New Guy)
Print.
I read through both emails. Surly they couldn't be talking about what I thought they were talking about? They want to get rid of me to increase profits? What proposal?
The more I thought about it the angrier I became. Later that night I showed Solicitor the emails. He read through them and re-read my written warning. The written warning had been drafted by a lawyer. It followed a generic layout and included certain phrases.
Their "project", whatever it may be, had been carefully planned out.
CEO terminated the companies services with Solicitors law firm. There's no way that Solicitor would ever agree to be involved with constructively dismissing a member of staff, especially if it were me.
New Guy definitely was not who he said he was. He clearly had a relationship with both CEO and Wanker before he joined the company. The only question was, what?
CEO received my appeal through the post the following day. He immediately sent an email to New Guy.
RE: Project
(New Guy)
I received a letter of appeal from Elise. However, I can't say this surprises me. Her boyfriend is in law. I expect she'll be receiving legal advice through that route.
Hopefully our ends are tied tight enough.
It's best if you continue to share and office with her until this matter is taken care of.
(CEO)
RE: Project
(CEO)
I can't help feeling that this has become a personal issue. In business it is wise to keep things as simple as possible.
Please keep me informed of all information. Small details, such as her boyfriend, make things more complicated than they need to be.
(New Guy)
Print. Print. Print.
Over the next few days I began collecting and slotting together pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. I desperately wanted to share with Stoner but this time I had to do it alone. I couldn't chance anything. I picked up the phone several time to call Gay Boss. I had to hang up before I could get through.
Solicitor gave me an address a week later. I dropped in during a lunch break. A petite middle-aged blond woman with a kind face held out her hand as I walked in.
"Elise, I'm Melinda. (Solicitor) told me the situation. Take a seat."
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
No, I haven't been hit by a bus. I'm back
No, I haven't been hit by a bus. I'm back.
The last couple of months have been... well 'a living hell' might be the best way to explain it.
About a month ago my sister and brother-in-law took a romantic weekend away to Barcelona. Nephew stayed with me and Solicitor. I love having Nephew around. He's so sweet and he always manages to say the funniest things without meaning to.
On the Saturday afternoon Solicitor went out to the pub with a few of his friends. Nephew and I amused ourselves with poster paint and coloured card. I'm not really the creative type but I was having a whale of a time with the crafts session. Nephew showed me how to finger-paint the image of a house onto blue card. We ended up finger-painting each others faces.
After we cleaned up Nephew settled down with Toy Story 2 while I busied myself in the kitchen. I opened a packet of chicken dippers and poured some onto a baking tray. I looked on the back of the packet for an oven temperature. Normally the packet would convert the temperature for you, but all I found was Pre-heat oven Gas Mark 6.
Now I know that its not really a big deal, but for some reason I started to stress out. I suddenly got quite angry and I called the telephone number at the bottom of the packet. All I got was an automated service line. I slammed the phone down in frustration. The stupid bloody packet didn't have a temperature on it. I felt completely helpless.
"Aunt Elise?"
Nephew gazed at me from the doorway. His big brown eyes full of concern. I tried to smile at him, to reassure him that I was fine.
"It's okay Baby"
"Then why are you crying?"
Yep. I had started crying. In fact, I had started crying and I had stopped breathing. My chest began to tighten up. I felt a wave of sudden dizziness. I started to panic. If I didn't start breathing soon I may collapse and die here on the kitchen floor. Nephew wouldn't get his chicken dippers!
Nephew's face began to morph in front on me. He was so frightened. I hated that I scared him. I tried so hard to smile and tell him that everything was okay. But at the time I honestly believed that I was going to die. The walls began closing in. my chest got tighter and tighter. I sank to the floor.
I don't remember exactly what happened, but I soon found myself in the car with Solicitor. He had wound the windows down. The cool air filled my lungs. I could breath! I still couldn't speak, but at least I could breath!
I sat tearfully in A&E for a good few hours. Nephew had fallen asleep. His head resting on Solicitor's lap. What was wrong with me? I'd ruined Nephew's weekend. Solicitor looked angry. He stared at the floor deep in thought.
"I'm sorry."
He sucked in his breath.
"Don't apologise. Just sort it out. Call Melinda on Monday."
I nodded.
"And you're not going to Manchester. You'll have to reschedule"
"But-"
Solicitor's low voice of authority cut off my protest.
"Elise, don't make me say it twice."
The last couple of months have been... well 'a living hell' might be the best way to explain it.
About a month ago my sister and brother-in-law took a romantic weekend away to Barcelona. Nephew stayed with me and Solicitor. I love having Nephew around. He's so sweet and he always manages to say the funniest things without meaning to.
On the Saturday afternoon Solicitor went out to the pub with a few of his friends. Nephew and I amused ourselves with poster paint and coloured card. I'm not really the creative type but I was having a whale of a time with the crafts session. Nephew showed me how to finger-paint the image of a house onto blue card. We ended up finger-painting each others faces.
After we cleaned up Nephew settled down with Toy Story 2 while I busied myself in the kitchen. I opened a packet of chicken dippers and poured some onto a baking tray. I looked on the back of the packet for an oven temperature. Normally the packet would convert the temperature for you, but all I found was Pre-heat oven Gas Mark 6.
Now I know that its not really a big deal, but for some reason I started to stress out. I suddenly got quite angry and I called the telephone number at the bottom of the packet. All I got was an automated service line. I slammed the phone down in frustration. The stupid bloody packet didn't have a temperature on it. I felt completely helpless.
"Aunt Elise?"
Nephew gazed at me from the doorway. His big brown eyes full of concern. I tried to smile at him, to reassure him that I was fine.
"It's okay Baby"
"Then why are you crying?"
Yep. I had started crying. In fact, I had started crying and I had stopped breathing. My chest began to tighten up. I felt a wave of sudden dizziness. I started to panic. If I didn't start breathing soon I may collapse and die here on the kitchen floor. Nephew wouldn't get his chicken dippers!
Nephew's face began to morph in front on me. He was so frightened. I hated that I scared him. I tried so hard to smile and tell him that everything was okay. But at the time I honestly believed that I was going to die. The walls began closing in. my chest got tighter and tighter. I sank to the floor.
I don't remember exactly what happened, but I soon found myself in the car with Solicitor. He had wound the windows down. The cool air filled my lungs. I could breath! I still couldn't speak, but at least I could breath!
I sat tearfully in A&E for a good few hours. Nephew had fallen asleep. His head resting on Solicitor's lap. What was wrong with me? I'd ruined Nephew's weekend. Solicitor looked angry. He stared at the floor deep in thought.
"I'm sorry."
He sucked in his breath.
"Don't apologise. Just sort it out. Call Melinda on Monday."
I nodded.
"And you're not going to Manchester. You'll have to reschedule"
"But-"
Solicitor's low voice of authority cut off my protest.
"Elise, don't make me say it twice."
Monday, 16 June 2008
Poker Face
Yesterday I received a letter from New Guy.
Last week I had a bad case of a cold. The type that hits you gradually. It starts with feeling cold. The type of cold where you have to continuously rub you hands together and curl up in a tight ball to stay warm. You feel like you have a razor blade lodged in your throat. You can't focus on anything. Even the simple task of going to the bathroom seems like an impossible mission. You're head feels sore and heavy...
Obviously I couldn't drive to work like that. I'd be a hazard. So I took time off.
When I arrived on Monday morning New Guy happily handed me an official letter. Disciplinary Action in accordance with Statutory Disciplinary Procedures...
I choked.
I had to read it again. I apparently failed to provide a "reasonable explanation for my absence". Now I'm no expert on the matter, but I'm pretty sure that having a cold is a fucking reasonable explanation for absence.
I went for a walk to clear my head. And to calm down. I didn't want to get arrested for assault.
I pulled out my phone and text Gay Boss. (I should really change his name but I can't be bothered)
He called me.
"Hey"
"Hey"
He paused.
"So... um... how's it going?"
"Awful!"
Gay Boss paused. A wave of hysteria took over and I started laughing. I laughed until I cried.
I hadn't spoken to Gay Boss since he left. I missed him terribly. His dry remarks always used to crack me up. He could make me laugh in almost any situation.
"I've got a disciplinary"
"Oh its your turn now."
"Thanks."
"A Pleasure."
I loved the way it sounded so casual. Suddenly the situation didn't seem so bad. We spoke for almost an hour. I told him that New Guy is a sexist prick. He told me that he's been to China.
Of course, the conversation quickly turned back to my Disciplinary. Gay Boss is well aware, from experience, of the steps that will follow. I'm about to be managed out.
"You know, its only when you step back and leave that you realise how fucked up that company really is."
"I can see how fucked up it is. God, I need a holiday."
"Well its been a few months and I still haven't recovered. I'm nearly normal but not quite there yet."
It's my turn now. I have a target circle tattooed on me.
I'm not worried about the Disciplinary Action. I haven't done anything wrong. It's the drama that will follow the meeting that concerns me. I've seen how the game is played here. Lucky for me I think I've been dealt a good hand.
Now all I need to do is put on my Poker Face.
Last week I had a bad case of a cold. The type that hits you gradually. It starts with feeling cold. The type of cold where you have to continuously rub you hands together and curl up in a tight ball to stay warm. You feel like you have a razor blade lodged in your throat. You can't focus on anything. Even the simple task of going to the bathroom seems like an impossible mission. You're head feels sore and heavy...
Obviously I couldn't drive to work like that. I'd be a hazard. So I took time off.
When I arrived on Monday morning New Guy happily handed me an official letter. Disciplinary Action in accordance with Statutory Disciplinary Procedures...
I choked.
I had to read it again. I apparently failed to provide a "reasonable explanation for my absence". Now I'm no expert on the matter, but I'm pretty sure that having a cold is a fucking reasonable explanation for absence.
I went for a walk to clear my head. And to calm down. I didn't want to get arrested for assault.
I pulled out my phone and text Gay Boss. (I should really change his name but I can't be bothered)
He called me.
"Hey"
"Hey"
He paused.
"So... um... how's it going?"
"Awful!"
Gay Boss paused. A wave of hysteria took over and I started laughing. I laughed until I cried.
I hadn't spoken to Gay Boss since he left. I missed him terribly. His dry remarks always used to crack me up. He could make me laugh in almost any situation.
"I've got a disciplinary"
"Oh its your turn now."
"Thanks."
"A Pleasure."
I loved the way it sounded so casual. Suddenly the situation didn't seem so bad. We spoke for almost an hour. I told him that New Guy is a sexist prick. He told me that he's been to China.
Of course, the conversation quickly turned back to my Disciplinary. Gay Boss is well aware, from experience, of the steps that will follow. I'm about to be managed out.
"You know, its only when you step back and leave that you realise how fucked up that company really is."
"I can see how fucked up it is. God, I need a holiday."
"Well its been a few months and I still haven't recovered. I'm nearly normal but not quite there yet."
It's my turn now. I have a target circle tattooed on me.
I'm not worried about the Disciplinary Action. I haven't done anything wrong. It's the drama that will follow the meeting that concerns me. I've seen how the game is played here. Lucky for me I think I've been dealt a good hand.
Now all I need to do is put on my Poker Face.
Thursday, 5 June 2008
"Oh, and she showed me her boobs..."
Yesterday was beautiful day. A complete contrast to Tuesday.
Stoner and I had Lunch outside on a park bench.
"Oh I found a replacement."
"For who?"
"For you. Someone else I'd rather have lunch with."
Stoner was only teasing but I couldn't help feeling jealous.
"Yeah? Who is she?"
"She petite, like you. Dark hair, like you. Beautiful eyes, like you. Oh, and she showed me her boobs."
Stoner casually took a bite into his sandwich. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.
"Were you dreaming?" I asked sweetly. Stoner laughed and told me the story.
On Tuesday Stoner went to Costa for lunch. He managed to find himself a corner table. As he sat down a sweet voice caused him to look up.
"Can I join you? The tables are full."
Stoner nodded and she sat down. She ripped open two packets of brown sugar and stirred them into her latte. Stoner couldn't help noticing how soft her hands looked. He cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say.
"So.. um.. you work around here?"
The girl smiled and nodded. She pointed at the bank across the road.
"First day."
"And how are you finding it?"
"Boring."
"How come?"
"No cute guys."
Stoner laughed. He couldn't resist the urge to flirt.
"Oh! Now I see why you came and sat with me."
She laughed and flicked her hair over her shoulder.
"What makes you think that I think your cute?"
"I didn't say that. But now that you mention it..."
The conversation went on. Each person playfully teasing the other. They were comfortable with each other. She was easy to talk to. Easy to laugh with.
"You think my boobs are too big?"
It came out of nowhere. Stoner tried hard not to look. But she invited him to look didn't she?
Her coat was slightly open. The top few buttons on her black shirt were undone. He could see her cleavage. She leaned over. Shit! What was he supposed to do? She was showing him! Would it be rude to look? Would it be rude not to look?
He looked. He couldn't help it. He has no idea why guys love boobs so much but they do. When a pretty young woman decides to lean over and reveal all its a guys duty to look.
He looked back up at her. She smiled and pulled her coat shut.
"It was nice having lunch with you. Maybe another time?"
"Um... yeah."
"See you around."
She picked up her bag and walked out.
"So are you going to see her again?"
"I have no idea. I don't even know her name."
"Wow what a skank."
Stoner smiled.
"Yeah. So I'm replacing you."
"You can't replace me with a nameless ho."
"Look Elise, you have to step up in the game. Make it worth my while."
He looked at my chest pointedly and winked. I kicked him under the table.
Stoner and I had Lunch outside on a park bench.
"Oh I found a replacement."
"For who?"
"For you. Someone else I'd rather have lunch with."
Stoner was only teasing but I couldn't help feeling jealous.
"Yeah? Who is she?"
"She petite, like you. Dark hair, like you. Beautiful eyes, like you. Oh, and she showed me her boobs."
Stoner casually took a bite into his sandwich. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.
"Were you dreaming?" I asked sweetly. Stoner laughed and told me the story.
On Tuesday Stoner went to Costa for lunch. He managed to find himself a corner table. As he sat down a sweet voice caused him to look up.
"Can I join you? The tables are full."
Stoner nodded and she sat down. She ripped open two packets of brown sugar and stirred them into her latte. Stoner couldn't help noticing how soft her hands looked. He cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say.
"So.. um.. you work around here?"
The girl smiled and nodded. She pointed at the bank across the road.
"First day."
"And how are you finding it?"
"Boring."
"How come?"
"No cute guys."
Stoner laughed. He couldn't resist the urge to flirt.
"Oh! Now I see why you came and sat with me."
She laughed and flicked her hair over her shoulder.
"What makes you think that I think your cute?"
"I didn't say that. But now that you mention it..."
The conversation went on. Each person playfully teasing the other. They were comfortable with each other. She was easy to talk to. Easy to laugh with.
"You think my boobs are too big?"
It came out of nowhere. Stoner tried hard not to look. But she invited him to look didn't she?
Her coat was slightly open. The top few buttons on her black shirt were undone. He could see her cleavage. She leaned over. Shit! What was he supposed to do? She was showing him! Would it be rude to look? Would it be rude not to look?
He looked. He couldn't help it. He has no idea why guys love boobs so much but they do. When a pretty young woman decides to lean over and reveal all its a guys duty to look.
He looked back up at her. She smiled and pulled her coat shut.
"It was nice having lunch with you. Maybe another time?"
"Um... yeah."
"See you around."
She picked up her bag and walked out.
"So are you going to see her again?"
"I have no idea. I don't even know her name."
"Wow what a skank."
Stoner smiled.
"Yeah. So I'm replacing you."
"You can't replace me with a nameless ho."
"Look Elise, you have to step up in the game. Make it worth my while."
He looked at my chest pointedly and winked. I kicked him under the table.
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Sticky Pink Stuff and Squelching Shoes
My car broke down this morning.
I'm not a snob. I take public transport all the time. I would be lost without the tubes and buses. How would I get to clubs and bars without them?
However, it's been years since I took public transport during rush hour. Buses and trains crowded with swearing school children. Swarms of people walking at 80 miles an hour with the Metro Newspaper folded under one arm and a Costa Coffee cup in their other hand.
British people are so miserable!
Nobody smiles at anyone. They keep they're eyes averted and stare into space until they reach their stop. Nobody talks to anyone. Apart from the occasional pissed off "tut" nobody utters a word.
It brings back memories. I remember now why I was thrilled when I passed my driving test and bought myself a car. I remember why I'd rather pay the Congestion Charge and drive to work, even if it means that I have to sit in traffic for an extra half an hour.
When I finally arrived at my stop I walked out into a puddle. Stupid, uneven pavement! My stylish compact umbrella was no match for the heavy rain. How the hell could somebody design an umbrella that doesn't shield you from the rain?! Isn't that the whole point?
By the time I arrived to work I was miserable, snappy and drenched from head to toe.
As I squelched up the stairs to my office I preparing myself for a bad day my phone began ringing. Aimee??
"Hi?"
"Hi Elise."
"Um... how are you?"
"Good. You?"
"Yeah I'm great."
I stood outside my office door digging into my bag for my key. Shit, where did I put it? Eww whats that sticky stuff? Oh shit! My lipstick. Where's the lid?
I tried hard to concentrate on what she was saying.
"Uh huh.... uh huh...."
"... so I was thinking maybe Earls Court? There's this restaurant that I love. Seven o'clock Friday okay?"
"Uh huh... Great."
Wait. What?
"You'll love him! Honestly he's dying to meet you guys. I'll speak to you soon and tell you everything okay?"
Wait. What? Yuck! There's all pink stuff on my keys.
"Love you lots Elise. Bye honey!"
Okay. I think, I'm not entirely sure, but I think that I've agreed to dinner with Aimee and whoever "he" may be.
Solicitor is going to kill me! The last time we saw Aimee he specifically told her (and me) that she shouldn't contact either of us and that he wanted her completely out of our lives.
It's not a problem I'll just call her back and...
Oh Shit! Phone.
"Hey babe. You okay?"
"Did you speak to Aimee?"
"Yeah she just called. Something about Earls Court."
"Elise, we are not meeting up with her."
"Yeah I know I was just going to cancel.."
"So tell me, how long have you and my ex wife been talking?"
"We're not... I haven't.."
"Fuck it. We'll talk about this later."
Solicitor can be such an idiot sometimes. I actually felt like I did something wrong. She called me! I didn't call her. I didn't even know what I agreed to.
If the stupid keys weren't at the bottom of my bag... You know something, I knew I shouldn't have taken the lipstick with me... Blood wet shoes... Stupid train...It's the stupid cars fault. It had to break down didn't it....
Okay. It's okay. It's not that bad. There are starving people in the world.
Oh great. My printer's not working.
I'm not a snob. I take public transport all the time. I would be lost without the tubes and buses. How would I get to clubs and bars without them?
However, it's been years since I took public transport during rush hour. Buses and trains crowded with swearing school children. Swarms of people walking at 80 miles an hour with the Metro Newspaper folded under one arm and a Costa Coffee cup in their other hand.
British people are so miserable!
Nobody smiles at anyone. They keep they're eyes averted and stare into space until they reach their stop. Nobody talks to anyone. Apart from the occasional pissed off "tut" nobody utters a word.
It brings back memories. I remember now why I was thrilled when I passed my driving test and bought myself a car. I remember why I'd rather pay the Congestion Charge and drive to work, even if it means that I have to sit in traffic for an extra half an hour.
When I finally arrived at my stop I walked out into a puddle. Stupid, uneven pavement! My stylish compact umbrella was no match for the heavy rain. How the hell could somebody design an umbrella that doesn't shield you from the rain?! Isn't that the whole point?
By the time I arrived to work I was miserable, snappy and drenched from head to toe.
As I squelched up the stairs to my office I preparing myself for a bad day my phone began ringing. Aimee??
"Hi?"
"Hi Elise."
"Um... how are you?"
"Good. You?"
"Yeah I'm great."
I stood outside my office door digging into my bag for my key. Shit, where did I put it? Eww whats that sticky stuff? Oh shit! My lipstick. Where's the lid?
I tried hard to concentrate on what she was saying.
"Uh huh.... uh huh...."
"... so I was thinking maybe Earls Court? There's this restaurant that I love. Seven o'clock Friday okay?"
"Uh huh... Great."
Wait. What?
"You'll love him! Honestly he's dying to meet you guys. I'll speak to you soon and tell you everything okay?"
Wait. What? Yuck! There's all pink stuff on my keys.
"Love you lots Elise. Bye honey!"
Okay. I think, I'm not entirely sure, but I think that I've agreed to dinner with Aimee and whoever "he" may be.
Solicitor is going to kill me! The last time we saw Aimee he specifically told her (and me) that she shouldn't contact either of us and that he wanted her completely out of our lives.
It's not a problem I'll just call her back and...
Oh Shit! Phone.
"Hey babe. You okay?"
"Did you speak to Aimee?"
"Yeah she just called. Something about Earls Court."
"Elise, we are not meeting up with her."
"Yeah I know I was just going to cancel.."
"So tell me, how long have you and my ex wife been talking?"
"We're not... I haven't.."
"Fuck it. We'll talk about this later."
Solicitor can be such an idiot sometimes. I actually felt like I did something wrong. She called me! I didn't call her. I didn't even know what I agreed to.
If the stupid keys weren't at the bottom of my bag... You know something, I knew I shouldn't have taken the lipstick with me... Blood wet shoes... Stupid train...It's the stupid cars fault. It had to break down didn't it....
Okay. It's okay. It's not that bad. There are starving people in the world.
Oh great. My printer's not working.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
